Coronaviurus to be past caring that for one day i was unreasonable

[Pixiemame]

So it was my DM’s 60th birthday at the weekend. We had a family holiday booked to portugal to celebrate which was obviously cancelled. Me my dh and our 2 children haven’t seen family apart from parents at the bottom of my front garden 3 or 4 times and the same with my sister and her 2 children. At the weekwnd we decided to go round to our parents house to celebrate DM’s birthday. We didn’t hug but we did sit inside the house for a while and in the garden. We had a few drinks (2 or 3) each, took some photos, some of which i uploaded to facebook. We all had our own plastic cups and cutlery, paper plates and napkins that we brought from our own houses, along with food we made at home. I know i may have been unreasonable but AIBU to be past caring? I haven’t taken my kids to the beach, they aren’t going bacl to school, they haven’t been anywhere near a park or supermarket and none of my family are high risk. Like a lot of people we have all been pretty miserable and myself very very low and anxious, so to spend 2/3 hours with my family was amazing. Call me selfish if you like but i do not regret it.

[Yesmate]

Because she made a reckless decision which did affect both me and my family. and I’m not scared to ask a friend why they did something. Same as your friend. Seems you are more bothered about justifying yourself to a bunch of strangers on the Internet than your friend. You are very strange. This could have been dealt with by replying to your friend.

[Trevsadick]

Because i suspect you have form for posting attention seeking posts, saying you have done something and dont see the issue.

Its within the rules on mn.....again if you don't like that....dont post.

[Thisisworsethananticpated]

Do what you want
But for gods sake why share in both facebook and here ! As PP said
Crack on

[Trevsadick]

If you really don't feel you did anything wrong, why are you bothered?

If I choose to do something and feel its entirely justified, I dont give a shit what others think.

The fact that not everyone is supportive of your choice, really seems to have got your goat.

[GabsAlot]

thisis what my dsis does no necessarily cororna but stuff she know people are going to comment on then says why am i getting grief-you dont have to post your whole life on bloody fb

[Pixiemame]

Ok, you got me, i'm strange, and also an attention seeker. By posting a few pics of myself and my family, i haven't done anything that i wouldn't have done pre lockdown. You do realise that there are people out there breaking rules and doing far worse than i have, who outright deny it.

[harper30]

Yikes.
I think you're riled up from the Facebook row and fancy another row on here.
If you're in the wrong for doing something, people are allowed to question you about it. That's the beauty of free speech. You freely shared that you've broken some rules, she freely questioned you about it.
I hope the additional arguments here have been cathartic.

[Yesmate]

Pre lockdown is your key phrase there. I’m out. You can’t argue with stupid.

[Trevsadick]

You do realise that there are people out there breaking rules and doing far worse than i have, who outright deny it.

And what's that got to do with your situation?

If no one knows they are doing it, how can you challenge it?

[Pixiemame]

I don't care that people don't agree with what i chose to do, but yes, i'm fuming with the way in which a so called friend went about venting her disagreement.

[harper30]

She might have had people close to her that have died from Covid. Or have people she loves working in hospitals etc so she's seen a real impact of the virus being spread.
Or she might just be a real stickler for the rules.
Or she might hate your guts and this is a nice excuse to have a go.
Or she might have drunk a bottle of wine and is being spurred on to find arguments online.
I don't think many people on here think you're in the right, but if you do that's fine, you don't have to/won't convince us though.

[LemonadeAndDaisyChains]

You do realise that there are people out there breaking rules and doing far worse than i have, who outright deny it

Yikes - I refer to you to my Dad's favourite saying as I was growing up - "if so and so jumped off a cliff, would you?"

[marmalade86]

Do you know why you got so angry OP? It seems so irrational to get upset at the manner in which someone had expressed themselves. Can you figure out what exactly it is about this "justifying" comment that is upsetting you so much? It almost seems like you want to be angry and you are perpetuating your emotional state by engaging with everyone here.

[Pixiemame]

So, people are ok to break the rules as long as they keep quiet about it? Does that make it any the less wrong? My bottom line, if i'm being honest is that i don't trust our goverment to make the best decisions on behalf of us all. They have made so many mistakes so far, at times have'nt had a clue what they're doing, and have backed up corrupt mp's and advisors. I don't need some yellow hair tinted baffoon to guide me and my family. I have followed goverment guidelines to the letter previously, but i trust my own judgement to determine what is safe and what isn't..

[CuppaZa]

What you did sounds lows risk tag. However, you broke the rules, advertised the fact, and other people may desperately miss their family so you were bound to get negative comments. Can’t you see that?
FWIW, I would have gone in your circumstances, but I wouldn’t have posted it on SM

[CuppaZa]

No it doesn’t make it any less wrong, but you are going to get people commenting when you are public about socialising, that is our point

[Pixiemame]

I don't want to be angry. I just don't think she had the right to demand an explanation in the way that she did. She could have private messaged me if she wanted a full explanation. But the simple fact she wanted me to justify myself, especially since no one else had an issue, i find rather odd.

[bubbleup]

"I haven’t got the time, patience or energy to get this involved in other people’s lives."

You've spent a hell of a lot of time and energy to get to the point where you've just posted here what you could've posted in response to your friend.

Why are you so angry that she called you out on breaking social distancing measures? Embarrassment?

Facebook is a public platform as far as your "friends" are concerned. You put the information out there, she commented on it. That's what social media is.

[Pixiemame]

Commenting is fine, even being critical if people feel the need, but demanding that someone give you a full explanation and justify a decision that you made, which quite frankly has nothing to do with them, is not fine.

[RhianFuckingMorris]

So why not pm her? You're not goingbtonsort tgisnout with her here on Mumsnet are you.

[marmalade86]

Ah! Perhaps you are feeling some shame too because she posted so publically? Like she tried to make an example of you! Do you think she was deliberately trying to shame you?

[bubbleup]

"especially since no one else had an issue,"

Believe me, they really did. The majority of them will have done. I have seen many many posts that have made me raise my eyebrows but I have chosen not to comment on them.

It does get a mention when chatting on the phone with my mum/friends. As in "did you see Emma's post the other night? 😳....."

You're very naive to post that on fbook and think nobody will call you out or look twice whilst quietly judging you.

[Hearhoovesthinkzebras]

@Pixiemame

So, am i to take it that we should be questioning everything and everyone who makes a decision that we do not agree with? Can I ask what gives people the right to do this? I’m not even talking specifically about coronavirus here, just life in general.

There's no "should" about it.

You're free to question whoever you like about what they are doing, because we live in a free country. You could have questioned your friend when she broke the rules.

You also had the option of not responding to your friend's comment on your photos, but you didn't.

You ask what gives people the right to do this - well, the right that we have in this country to say what we want.

[Pixiemame]

No, i'm not at all embarrassed. If this were the case then i wouldn't have posted on Facebook to begin with. I really don't care if people agree with what i chose to do. I do however, care, that some people feel that they have the right to demand that others justify their decisions.

[LemonadeAndDaisyChains]

So, people are ok to break the rules as long as they keep quiet about it
Nobody has said that.