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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Coronaviurus to be past caring that for one day i was unreasonable

227 replies

Pixiemame · 10/06/2020 21:42

So it was my DM’s 60th birthday at the weekend. We had a family holiday booked to portugal to celebrate which was obviously cancelled. Me my dh and our 2 children haven’t seen family apart from parents at the bottom of my front garden 3 or 4 times and the same with my sister and her 2 children. At the weekwnd we decided to go round to our parents house to celebrate DM’s birthday. We didn’t hug but we did sit inside the house for a while and in the garden. We had a few drinks (2 or 3) each, took some photos, some of which i uploaded to facebook. We all had our own plastic cups and cutlery, paper plates and napkins that we brought from our own houses, along with food we made at home. I know i may have been unreasonable but AIBU to be past caring? I haven’t taken my kids to the beach, they aren’t going bacl to school, they haven’t been anywhere near a park or supermarket and none of my family are high risk. Like a lot of people we have all been pretty miserable and myself very very low and anxious, so to spend 2/3 hours with my family was amazing. Call me selfish if you like but i do not regret it.

OP posts:

Original poster

Pixiemame · 10/06/2020 23:27

So, am i to take it that we should be questioning everything and everyone who makes a decision that we do not agree with? Can I ask what gives people the right to do this? I’m not even talking specifically about coronavirus here, just life in general.

OP posts:

imsooverthisdrama · 10/06/2020 23:28

I didn’t post to get a reaction. I had quite a lot of positive comments too,
Then there you go focus on the positive,ignore the negative.
You do not have to explain yourself either to her .

Trevsadick · 10/06/2020 23:28

I consider it disrespectful and a bit ridiculous for people not sendzing their kids back to school but are happy to take them to the beach and be surrounded by hundreds of other families. I found it ridiculous what Dominic Cummings did

And people on social media have challenge that.

Peolle posting they went to the beach and didn't socially distance (its allowed as long as you do) are usually challenged.

DC was challenged left, right and centre.

So what's your point?

Yesmate · 10/06/2020 23:29

You are now being facetious and you know it. You broke the rules which was wrong, you posted about it which was stupid and you got called out for it. This isn’t life in general, it’s a fucking pandemic.

LemonadeAndDaisyChains · 10/06/2020 23:29

I consider it disrespectful and a bit ridiculous for people not sendzing their kids back to school but are happy to take them to the beach and be surrounded by hundreds of other families

That's just kind of doing what you're doing, though?
Going to the beach is perfectly fine.
We could go to the beach as a family of four this weekend, and do the social distance thing, stay away from other people as much as we can. (Not going to though until things settle a bit and get more back to normal)
Other people could be on the beach but there's still room between us? We could move away if it got a bit busy all well and good until you have to be herded in for an air ambulance like Durdle Door
Anyway my point is it's a bit of a stretch to say "beach going - bad!" when they might have risk assessed and social distanced just like you

category12 · 10/06/2020 23:30

So, am i to take it that we should be questioning everything and everyone who makes a decision that we do not agree with?

If it's important to you, yes.

bubbleup · 10/06/2020 23:31

Yeah you're right. Nobody should ever call anyone out on their (very public) questionable behaviour.

CoronaIsComing · 10/06/2020 23:31

YWNBU to do what you did but YWBU to post about it on FB knowing that breaking the rules could upset some people.

Original poster

Pixiemame · 10/06/2020 23:31

Don’t compare me to Trump please, I can’t stand the man and don’t agree with what he stands for. If the person in question had asked me a question or commented slightly differently, that would have been fine. Have you ever actually seen anyone on Facebook reply to their friend’s post and demand that they justify their decisions? I sure has hell hadn’t before now.

OP posts:

Trevsadick · 10/06/2020 23:31

So, am i to take it that we should be questioning everything and everyone who makes a decision that we do not agree with?

If you post on social media, you invite peoples thoughts.

Theres no rule that says you can only post in support of people on social media.

Pp mentioned speeding. If a friend of yours posted they got caught speeding down your street, where your kids may be...thinking it wasnt a big deal. You think people can only comment to be supportive of them?

Trevsadick · 10/06/2020 23:33

Have you ever actually seen anyone on Facebook reply to their friend’s post and demand that they justify their decisions? I sure has hell hadn’t before now.

Yes, when people are doing something that potenially, negatively impacts other people.

Crystaltree · 10/06/2020 23:33

You seem to be a habitual provoker and attention seeker. You did it on Facebook and now you are doing it on here. Stop over sharing, mind your own business and other people will mind theirs.

Yesmate · 10/06/2020 23:34

I have literally posted on someone’s post “what was your thought process when you did this” so yes, I have asked someone to justify their decision. You got called out on something and you don’t like it.

Khione · 10/06/2020 23:34

@LemonadeAndDaisyChains

Grumbling about others breaking 'ROOLZ' is just FOMO

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Yup

MissConductUS · 10/06/2020 23:35

Facebook is evil in so many ways. So much f'ing drama.

Stuckforthefourthtime · 10/06/2020 23:35

If you were all having so much fun in the garden, why go in the house at all, which is far riskier than the beach visits you mention? Entire families have been affected after group parties - I'm not saying we should all cower in our homes, but while there are still relatively high positive test rates, we should still be trying to balance risk, and the extra comfort of going into the house Vs being in the garden is surely not worth it.
www.google.com/amp/s/www.nytimes.com/2020/03/18/nyregion/new-jersey-family-coronavirus.amp.html

RhianFuckingMorris · 10/06/2020 23:36

You keep saying you are pissed off your "friend" has demanded an explanation.

Did she say explain it on Mumsnet? Because that's what you've done. It might have been quicker to have just replied or messaged her directly.

Trevsadick · 10/06/2020 23:37

Op, you clearly don't think you were unreasonable.

You clearly, couldn't have just not posted a photo from in the house.

You clearly think you xan act outside the rules and no one has the right to question you.

I dont think this post is anything to do with what happened. If it happened at all. You are trying to make a point, to mners and i have no clue what it is.

If I litter in public, I would expect to be challenged. If I posted on facebook that I litter, I would definitely expect to be challenged.

No one has to agree with everything you do. No one has to turn a blind eye to poor behaviour.

If you don't want to be challenged, don't post your poor behaviour.

Original poster

Pixiemame · 10/06/2020 23:38

But what makes you feel that you have the right to do that @Yesmate? Personally, I don’t care to constantly question other people’s choices, especially if it doesn’t affect myself and my family. I haven’t got the time, patience or energy to get this involved in other people’s lives.

OP posts:

Trevsadick · 10/06/2020 23:39

She does have a right to do it.

Because she does. Why do you think she doesn't, when its got a potential impact on other people?

Why did you name change for this? Or have you just joined to ask this question.

Original poster

Pixiemame · 10/06/2020 23:41

We went into the house as it started to rain and we were about to give my DM her cards and presents. It was a brief shower so we then went back outside. The chances of any of my family being infected with coronavirus is minuscule and so the chances of catching it whilst being inside of their house for 5/10 minutes is even more minuscule. That’s not me rationalising btw it’s just what I believe.

OP posts:

marmalade86 · 10/06/2020 23:41

You sound really worked up OP, but life is too short!

It does seem a bit ridiculous to insist on someone to justify themselves, as it was put to you. But try empathise with this person, they are no doubt anxious about the situation and frustrated that they cannot do the same. It is understandable that they might get angry with your post. They might not be expressing themselves in an ideal way to you but it is a more reflection of their frustration rather than a direct judgment of you as a person. If you try and put yourself in their shoes, you might be able to let go of your own anger/frustration at this situation.

category12 · 10/06/2020 23:42

It's scarcely hugely involved in your life to ask you how you justify breaking lockdown rules.

Takes about a minute of typing.

Khione · 10/06/2020 23:43

Terry Pratchett

Rule 19 - "Always remember Rule One and ask yourself, why was it created in the first place"

If you ignore the rules people will, half the time, quietly rewrite them so that they don't apply to you

“Look, that's why there's rules, understand? So that you think before you break 'em.”

Original poster

Pixiemame · 10/06/2020 23:43

I’ve named changed because I wanted to. No reason other than that. Why did you feel the need to check if I’d named changed anyway?

OP posts:

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