To think this is very cheeky - re home schooling

[GlummyMcGlummerson]

My DB and SIL have had SIL's mum (lets call her Jean) living with them since April so that they could WFH whiles she looks after their 4yo and 6yo, as they're both in high pressure roles. Jean is 69 and has been retired from nursing for about 5 years and watched the kids 3 days a week before they began school.

However it seems it's all gone tits up today, SIL's mum has packed her bags and gone home after a disagreement with DB and SIL.
Apparently they aren't happy that she hasn't really been doing the home schooling stuff, despite forwarding her the teacher's emails every day. SIL said she would "sit on her phone in the living room while the kids watched TV."

They spoke to her today and said that it's very important the kids get their home work done and she needs to do the work with them. Long story short - Jean stropped off and went home. Now they're in a huge panic about it (the reason I know all this is that SIL rang and asked if I could spare a few days to look after the kids while they find a new solution, as I am furloughed).

AIBU to side with Jean on this one?
The poor woman worked her whole life, lost her husband in her 50's, when she did retire she went straight to doing childcare for free 3 days a week, went from retired solitude to suddenly living in a busy house with 2 energetic kids as a favour. They are 4 and 6, it's not like doing their GCSE's, DB and SIL seem to think that not doing cutting and sticking tasks assigned by the school will doom them to a life of stupidity. And, to me, when you ask such a huge favour you don't get to be picky about the details. If she wants to sit on her phone all day, as long as the children are distracted from bothering mummy and daddy then whats the problem?!

I said no to the childcare BTW. I have 2 of my own to look after and I can barely be bothered home schooling my 2 (it's also against the rulez innit)

Too many CFs on this thread. Wish they'd PO with their ignorant entitled attitudes and parent their own DC instead of expecting everyone else (esp GP who have already put in their time and deserve their retirement) to do it and demanding the earth of them. Why the hell have children if you can't be bothered to parent them?! Too many lazy parents these days with a shed load of excuses for themselves and heavy demands on placed on others, have a stern word with yourselves!

So glad to see that the majority appreciates Jean and all her hard work. Cheers

Evening all.
I'm sorry I don't have much of an update except that Jean hasn't gone back to the house. I text DB to ask how they were all getting on today and he said trying to juggle work and childcare is an "absolute nightmare". Yeah mate, the rest of the country has been doing it for 3 months now. They can't put them in school either, the school essentially said in May "it's now or never you can't send them half way through the term".

Watching Jean's Facebook account avidly for any activity 😂

Did sil and db not notice all the bike rides and walks and trips to the allotment, when they were complaining about Jean being on her phone?

They didn't mention it to me, but Jean puts it in Facebook which is how I know.

My mum lives abroad so can't come over to watch them anyway (she totally would if she could though, DB is Golden Child)

Well if she had offered to look after the kids she should have also explained that she wouldn't be doing any homeschooling. Then they could have thought of an alternative plan then. The only people really losing out in this are the kids.

I also know someone who had a third baby and just assumed her elderly mum would continue to do childcare. The mum is exhausted

I used to work for the NHS in an adult MH inpatient unit, you would be completely shocked how many older/elderly people were admitted after a visit from the crisis team to find them looking solely after their grandchildren whilst having a breakdown or MH crisis. I've even had more than one adult child saying "well what am I supposed to do now for childcare" when we've admitted their mum. It's really sad how few adults give a shit about the welfare of their parents as long as they're getting free childcare. There's a huge misconception that grandparents find every moment of their GC a privilege.

LOL. I am willing to bet that a 70 yr old granny knows more about educating a 4 and 6 yr old, than their comparatively inexperienced parents realise. Granny might not have them sitting at the table doing a work book, because she knows she can teach far more by talking and reading to them, playing I-spy (using the sound of letters not the name), Simon Says, counting cars, singing songs, and the scores of playful ways that children learn shapes,sounds and letters, numbers; how to listen and remember, watch and notice, pay attention, etc.

I am a similar age as Jean. I have provided childcare For my grandson, and sleepovers since he was a toddler. I love having him. However, I find the whole schoolwork thing stressful too... and so do a lot of parents themselves! It’s a bit much to have a go at her, IMO...

@GlummyMcGlummerson
Couldn't agree with you more.

@LondonJax
My intention too....back up care only..

Seeing 80 year olds, shaky on their feet was a feature of some of my pick ups years ago.
Very stressed faces trying to navigate busy paths with very small children.
Awful.

Go Jean.
I hope she does not back down.
Her daughter is a disgrace.

I'm on Jean's side - why couldn't the mum and dad do the homework with the kids at the end of the day when they'd finished WFH if they were that bothered about it.

I really feel sorry for Jean.

I am always slightly gobsmacked by those in 'high profile jobs' who think they should be somehow spared the everyday hardships a 'normal' worker has to juggle everyday.. just because they are in high paying jobs... why is that ? It's not like the 'high profile job' benefits anyone but their own bank balances..

Is it really MORE important to have child free hassle because you run "Acme import exports global division" than if you are attempting to answer "NatWest's customer service line " from your kitchen?

Does something happen to people's sense of self importance when the salary reaches 50k ?

Go jean! Sounds like she finally developed a back bone and stood up to the CF's. She was doing them a huge favour and they sound extremely ungrateful.

#TeamJean

I was never lucky enough to have this kind of input long term from grandparents when my kids were young as both my dad and my FIL became very ill around the same time and our lovely mums had little chance to be dodgy grandmas feeding sweets and bad comics. But my kids still learned so much from their grandparents who were all so very different.

Grandmas bake gingerbread men, let kids run under the hose when they water plants, play endless dulldulldull card and board games (teaching turns and calm), read stories, tell stories and educate them about CND and BLM. Or is the latter just my mum?

jean is totally and utterly unreasonable... for not updating us via her facebook... would love to hear her side.

go jean...

Jean has updated her Facebook (I am 100% outing myself here as her name is actually Jean, I was too lazy to think of another name but fuck it)! She's reading Eleanor Oliphant with a glass of red wine. The irony of her reading that book is not lost on me.

"Trying to juggle work and childcare is an absolute nightmare" Bwahaha no shit.
Welcome to reality DB, if I had a Jean right now I would have worshipped the ground she walked on. Even if all she did was stop the children electrocuting themselves it would still be a help.

I am always slightly gobsmacked by those in 'high profile jobs' who think they should be somehow spared the everyday hardships a 'normal' worker has to juggle everyday.. just because they are in high paying jobs... why is that ?

They should put their hands in their pockets and get some high profile childcare. As I say though, with the exacting standards they have on a parent looking after their child for free, any self respecting nanny would probably be gone after a week.

Ooh not read Eleanor Oliphant. Will look up what it's about

It’s a good book. Enjoy Jean!

SIL should be the one reading Eleanor Oliphant. Then she might appreciate how amazing her own mother is, when compared to the one in the book. Perhaps Jean could lend her the book when she’s done

Run Jean Run.

Team Jean. They sound very entitled to me. I hope no one helps them out and they have to do what the rest of us are doing (or not)

Thanks for the updates @GlummyMcGlummerson, I hope Jean enjoys her book.

Trips out and gardening would be educational for a 4 & 6 year old, your SIL & DB have been very silly.

The kids are 4 & 6 x x
Homework ?
Learning should be fun tactile not stewing over a book !
Go Jean !

Go Jean! At my work a grandma started who's daughters totally take her for granted for free childcare, she didn't work long but totally needed to grow a backbone.

Any update on Jean and you DB and SIL?