To think this is very cheeky - re home schooling

[GlummyMcGlummerson]

My DB and SIL have had SIL's mum (lets call her Jean) living with them since April so that they could WFH whiles she looks after their 4yo and 6yo, as they're both in high pressure roles. Jean is 69 and has been retired from nursing for about 5 years and watched the kids 3 days a week before they began school.

However it seems it's all gone tits up today, SIL's mum has packed her bags and gone home after a disagreement with DB and SIL.
Apparently they aren't happy that she hasn't really been doing the home schooling stuff, despite forwarding her the teacher's emails every day. SIL said she would "sit on her phone in the living room while the kids watched TV."

They spoke to her today and said that it's very important the kids get their home work done and she needs to do the work with them. Long story short - Jean stropped off and went home. Now they're in a huge panic about it (the reason I know all this is that SIL rang and asked if I could spare a few days to look after the kids while they find a new solution, as I am furloughed).

AIBU to side with Jean on this one?
The poor woman worked her whole life, lost her husband in her 50's, when she did retire she went straight to doing childcare for free 3 days a week, went from retired solitude to suddenly living in a busy house with 2 energetic kids as a favour. They are 4 and 6, it's not like doing their GCSE's, DB and SIL seem to think that not doing cutting and sticking tasks assigned by the school will doom them to a life of stupidity. And, to me, when you ask such a huge favour you don't get to be picky about the details. If she wants to sit on her phone all day, as long as the children are distracted from bothering mummy and daddy then whats the problem?!

I said no to the childcare BTW. I have 2 of my own to look after and I can barely be bothered home schooling my 2 (it's also against the rulez innit)

4 and 6? Most of Europe don’t even start school til 6! I’m Team Jean, big time.

If her childcare wasn't up to their standards they are now free to make other arrangements. They shouldn't hold a grudge - it was too much to ask for more than a day or two.

team jean t shirt wearer here ! your db and sil are cfers what education does a 4 and 6yo urgently need ffs ?

Seems bizarre that it’s only just come to a head. Surely Jean would have said why are you sending me those emails or the school would have flagged nothing sent back. Surely they talk over meals eg what have you done today kids or discussed supplies like paint, paper.

She looked after the kids better thab their parents could do whilst both working. Loads of children have had to get on with stuff around parents' work. What was to stop mum and dad home schooling at the weekend. Also, have they only just noticed? Did they not show any interest before in what their kids were doing?

YANBU.

If they want to set down specific objectives and parameters for their childcare, then they need to employ a full time tutor and pay the going rate.

Well that chat backfired on them 😂😂😂
Good on Jean

team jean. hope she is ok.

Team Jean all the way!

Wow. Pure Cheeky Fuckery. They really have no idea how tiring it is looking after young kids when you’re in your late 60’s. Plus a 4yr old and a 6 yr old don’t really need that much formal schooling so the parents could easily do it at the week-ends if they’re that keen.

How long will it be until they send a grovelling apology to the long suffering grandma?

I'm mostly with Jean, but how hard would it be to get them to read some pages of their reading books each day.

At that age, reading is really the most important thing. Everything else could be skipped but reading is really the number 1 priority. Did she even do that?

I wouldn't expect full home schooling, but a little bit of reading or a few worksheets a week? Surely the kids have been bored out their mind, and she must have been too. A little bit of work would take up the time!

The only words they should have had is “thank you jean, would you like a cuppa?” Definitely don’t rescue them. They need to apologise and appreciate Jean!

I'm with Jean.
Some people have no idea when someone is doing them a favour.

You often find this when something is for free.
People forget VERY quickly.

Hopefully Jean has her feet up and is enjoying the peace.

Frankly, if this was the price for having a child in my life...I would pass on it.

Jean is being used and her daughter is a CF.

Totally on Jean's side but has she done anything with them or are we talking about 6hours+ of TV? Either way not her responsibility, I would have thought the parents would have noticed sooner though. Wouldn't they have asked to see work/talked about what happened during the day?

Team Jean. I bet she did all the cooking and took them cups of tea too.

Well done Jean, hope she’s getting a well-deserved rest and some peace and quiet.

They're idiots!
My husband and I have high pressured jobs and we manage to teach our kids between us- my screen time is up to 14 hours a day at the moment and most of thst is teams meetings, I lead in most of them or have a big input and still manage to support a 8&11 year old 🙄
It's hard work but you manage it - tell them no it's their responsibility

For Jean. Good for her. Total cheeky fs. Everyone else has had to juggle their kids and working from home. They can jog on.

I’m with Jean, I’d be off home too. Also, it’s week seventy million of lockdown. How has it taken until now for these attentive parents to realise that granny was just being granny and not teacher? I think it’s very cheeky of your DB and SIL to assume Jean was going anything other than playing with the children and generally supervising, She isn’t hired help!!

Op, how did you respond to the request for you to have the kids? I'd be saying 'it's obviously very important the children do all their home learning, I don't want that responsibility, thanks'.

I'm wearing a t-shirt that says team Jean and waving a flag! Jean deserves a medal for lasting this long.

I can imagine SIL has left out the food prep and tea making Jean did alongside free child care during a pandemic. I can imagine free play was encouraged at some point. SIL and DB are CFs. Enjoy the peace Jean.

mum and dad should have been carving out an hour each a day to do school with the kids or doing it at the weekend. if the kids were at school as key worker provision there's no education either.

You were right not to step in and help, because they would be taking you for granted to and expecting you to do their homeschooling.

During lockdown, most parents have had to talk to their workplaces and agree adjustments to their schedules so that they can look after their own children. Or key workers in a desperate situation (like my DH and I) have to find an open nursery and/or agree adjustments where possible. A lot of parents aren't lucky enough to have grandparents who will help. We are all juggling kids and work.

Surprised Jean lasted as long as she did, watching 2 young children for I presume 40 hrs week since April. The parents couldn’t set aside an hour a day each to work on homeschooling their own kids and just be grateful that Jean was there to keep the children safe and loved while they worked. How much school work would a 4 and 6 year old be allocated anyway? Unbelievably entitled, hope Jean is sitting at her home with her feet up enjoying the peace.

Go, Jean, Go!

I think when you have free childcare - and you need to work - you should be on your knees with gratitude at anyone who will provide it. Even if Jean was feeding them Wotsits and Haribo and teaching them to play poker.

Still, no doubt SIL will manage to sort her own children out and will provide better quality teaching than her mother did.