To end relationship with DP because he rejected my birthday cake

[Beautifulbirdsong]

Been with DP for 3 years, currently separated due to Covid social distancing. It was his birthday last week, spent the day with his children, I accepted it was difficult due to Covid for me to be involved and he said he wouldn't be able to see me separately (it was a work day too). I thought it would be a nice gesture to handmade a large Guinness cake and drop it round along with my present first thing in the morning, so even though I couldn't physically be there I would still be involved in the day (also regardless of what the children did, you can never have enough cake?!?) . I live on the neighbouring street and messaged that I left it on the wall outside (so it would be a nice surprise). Anyway I got a reply 5 hours later asking me to take the cake and present away and bring it back next time it was just the two of us.

This has really upset me and I think shows quite a lot of how little I really matter to him and I want to know if I am being unreasonable to end a good (pre-covid) relationship because of this.

The only reasons I can think of for rejecting your cake is either someone in the house he doesn't want to know you dropped off a cake or he's paranoid about covid.
Hope you get clarification from him OP.

@thepeopleversuswork

People saying it’s not appropriate because it’s got Guinness in it are being ridiculous... Guineas (and other dark beers) are a common ingredient in cake: it makes for a lovely flavour and what little alcohol there is cooks out...

I think his behaviour is very odd and suggests at best that he’s quite bad at communicating, at worst that he’s selfish and rude.

I wouldn’t necessarily end things if all is otherwise good but I would definitely tell him it was rude and thoughtless...

I agree with this

Another thread where I want to know what happened!

@Nearlyalmost50

I don't get why anyone would be less than delighted with a cake and present, and I don't get why it would be perceived as 'interfering' given your children know about you and they are all adults!

Totally bizarre answers on this thread. I would ask him why but I wouldn't be prepared to be messed about like this, and asking you to pick up a cake five hours later when he'd clearly seen it is beyond rude.

I live in a different universe to lots of mumsnetters, obviously!

This, with bells on. It's not like you turned up having planned and paid for a day out with them that would take away from the time he's spending with his children. His reaction is really weird from anyone, let alone a boyfriend, especially one of 3 years. I'd find it very hard not to be upset by that.

I think he was very rude. Even if he didn't want the cake, the polite thing to do would be to thank you and then bin it!

Very rude, I’m not surprised op is thinking it’s the final straw.

I wouldn't want to see him again after that. He's rude and weird.

He probably apologised and, if the OP's self esteem is low enough, she accepted it because she feels lucky to have a man give her some kind of attention. Even one who is a complete arsehole.

I agree with Merryoldgoat and Nearlyalmostfifty. If someone had been arsed enough to bake me a cake and buy me a gift, even if I did not want or like them I would accept them with graciousness. In my mind it is totally odd behaviour. If I had got that text I would have text back -
😊 if you don't want them shove them in bin lol. I have my evening planned so haven't got time to call back in for them x Next time I saw him I would be like wtf was that all about weirdo 👍 Then you can work out from the response if he is a keeper x

My bday today feel free to drop the cake off 😂 how odd OP he sounds rude. Really unnapreciative of him. I'm in the same situation but the other way round. I bloody love cake anyone can drop cake at mine.

He probably apologised and, if the OP's self esteem is low enough, she accepted it because she feels lucky to have a man give her some kind of attention. Even one who is a complete arsehole.

Do you need to be so nasty just because you didn’t get an update? This is mumsnet not reality TV, you are NOT entitled to one.

I hope you're ok OP and that you enjoyed the cake!!

Op, aren't you going to update us on the reason he didn't want the cake?

^^ need an update from the OP!

She's not being unreasonable though. The guy should have replied along the lines of "Thanks for the cake and present. I'll start eating the cake today, but can I leave opening the present until I next see you?" Or he could have asked "We can open it over Skype / Zoom etc?" as an alternative.

I would be thinking his kids have complained about you OP...or have some sort of problem with you and so he didn't want you involved in the day in any way in case they got angry.

Eat the cake and return the gift. I’m not going to tell you to end it over this particular incident - only you know how he usually treats you. But this wasn’t nice of him whichever way you spin it.

Side note - one of my sixth form teachers once made us a Guinness cake to eat in class and it was one of the best cakes I’ve ever tasted!

I know I shouldn't be this invested in someone else's life, but please, @Beautifulbirdsong can you let us know how this panned out?

Guinness cake is my favorite ever cake.

Op, we need an update.

I’m so sorry this man was so rubbish and rude to you OP

I really want a cake now please though?! I’d bloody love it if I had anyone who cared enough to make me something so special.

I’d like an update please.
Have you had an explanation.

@Mary1935 I love how you’ve said that so matter of fact my 🤣 id like an update too to be honest!!!

May I join the chorus for an update please!

Me too, @Beautifulbirdsong

Come along now cake lady! Please tell us what happened!