DD Shaved Her Head

[CrazyLady82]

More of a wwyd.

My DD18 has just called me and told me she has shaved her head. DD already had short hair.

DD reasons were that her hair was damaged from all the coloring and she didn't like the color it was.

I am sitting here trying not to loose my mind. I am currently 25 weeks pregnant with DD2 and am thinking part of my reaction is pregnancy hormones. After telling DD I wasn't happy with the choice, but it was her choice I hung up the phone. I have been crying and silent screaming for 10 minutes.

I don't want to say anything to bad to her. I know that it is her choice.

Could someone help give me a reality check that shaving her head isn't that bad? I need to get a grip as it is her life.

Are we talking Kojak or Annie Lennox? I did the latter when I was 16 and my parents didn’t bat an eyelid.

When I was a teenager my mum told me she would through me out if I dyed my hair black. I never dare to do it and remember her remarks to this day. Don't be like my mum. Hair grows back but your reaction to her choice will last in her memory forever.

Throw not through.

Actually my dad said ‘a cute face can get away with anything’. Which was most unlike him (he was quite old fashioned) but I think he just enjoyed seeing me doing daft things sometimes.

It's just hair it will grow back. As long as she is happy and healthy that's all that matters. She will do many more things you won't like and they'll be nothing you can do about it I'm afraid. This time next year you will probably look back and laugh at how upset you got and how much it's not that big of a deal

Let her do it! I’ve has alopecia from early 20s and would love to have thick enough hair to get a short crop.

YABU.

I did that in my early 20s. Didn't like it myself either but had my reasons for doing it.

My mum moaned about it for a sentence once or twice. But I don't think she cried. (!)

Eventually it'll grow back.

Luckily nowadays it's fairly easy to buy a wig, and she might find a nice one to tide her over till it grows back if she decides she doesn't like it and feels the need.

I shaved mine at 16 and again at 21. Tbh I'd happily do it again now, I hate hair tickling my face and neck.
A shaved head is cool, at 16 I distinctly remember thinking I looked like Tank Girl (hence my username ). You should be proud she's being herself and not copying the crowd.

I mean YABU obviously but I cried at a lot of stupid stuff when I was pregnant.

It's her hair, she owns it. She can cut it all off if she wants.

My DD shaved her head (well her dad did it actually) age 6. After it started to fall out with chemo.

Negative attitudes to women with very short hair / shaved heads are really miserable for those who have no choice. Not to mention that I suspect these attitudes often come from some rather judgmental stereotypes which isn’t great either.

My daughter was sad when her hair fell out. It would be so much better if people only had to be sad because they were losing the chance to make decisions about their own hair and identity rather than because other people judge.

Of all the body modifications a teenager could do, shaving their hair is surely the least problematic - it will grow back, and if she (not anyone else) hates it in interim she could always get a wig.

I'm guessing this isn't so much about the hair as that it signifies she's her own woman now, not your little girl - though for the things that really matter she'll always be that if she needs it.

who cares OP? why do you?

She can do anything she likes with her hair, including remove it. She is not your property is she, there should be no reason her hairstyle affects you. Try to be a bit more open minded about what women 'can' do with their hair, its 2020.

have you considered that she wanted to do it anyway and simply told you that she did it to cover up a prior mistake to 'justify' it to ward off impending judgement- which she seems to be getting regardless.

Say she looks lovely . Good for her to be brave enough . Hair grows ...it’s really not something to get stressed about in your condition x

Hair will grow.

I'd be more upset about a tattoo.

Hanging up the phone on someone is really shitty in most scenarios but especially this ridiculous one. You should definitely apologise.

It’s fine, relax, your DD has a point if it was damaged from colouring. Your hormones are probably why you are over reacting. I consider myself pretty old fashioned and it’s really not a big deal.

The only ones who should be apologising are those posters being bitchy towards you. They’re clearly not mature adults.

Pregnancy hormones can make you feel extreme emotion about all sorts of silly things that otherwise wouldn’t appear on your radar. So don’t feel bad about your reaction. The hair will grow. I was a punk in my youth and my mum just got used to me having a shaved head and wearing all sorts of shite.

Equally, your teen having a rude reaction towards your pregnancy is part of her growing independent from you. I wouldn’t worry too much because she’ll likely value her new sibling a lot more when she’s a bit older and mature.

I have two wonderful step children in their 30’s and a 10 yr old boy...
They adore the 10 year old and he’s very lucky to have such amazing older brothers. They have never referred to him as their step brother either.

It's hair. It literally just grows back.

I'm really sorry OP you are having such judgement from some on your pregnancy even after you've explained the gap and for those saying you should have been better introducing pregnancy....erm how your daughter is legally an adult?! And is old enough to understand

Her body, her choice.

Your attitude is both controlling and misogynistic.

I suspect your daughter knew full well how you would react and that was probably part of the reason she did it.

My experience of having a shaved head was that I became invisible to men but was regularly chatted up by women instead.

My mum's younger brother is 15 years younger than her. It really put a strain on her relationship with her mother for a while because she suddenly got no support, had a crying baby in the background all the time while she was trying to study and went from having a caring involved mum to a mum constantly sleep deprived and no patience, more concerned with the baby than with her. Their relationship recovered but you need to be careful and understand her point of view. And blaming overreaction on hormones is not good enough.

I'm sure you'll be fine, you handled the situation fine in the end and I am only saying this because there is an expectation on girls to be maternal and help out with younger siblings. But she is not unreasonable to not be excited about you having a baby.

Have my first " give you're head a wobble"
She's 18- an adult
It's hair it will grow back

That’s quite an overreaction from your side. Hair grows back! She is an adult and it’s her head and hair.

Loads of girls are shaving their head at the moment. It's all the rage. I seriously don't see the issue. What's the harm? It'll grow!

I think the lockdown has actually made people braver with experimenting. I know a few people who have given themselves undercuts or shaved completely. It has been liberating to experiment without having to answer to society! So it is very much a thing at the moment. I can think of much worse things to be in fashion! I gave myself an undercut and it is so freeing, I totally get why people shave their heads!