Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DD Shaved Her Head

437 replies

CrazyLady82 · 09/06/2020 17:48

More of a wwyd.

My DD18 has just called me and told me she has shaved her head. DD already had short hair.

DD reasons were that her hair was damaged from all the coloring and she didn't like the color it was.

I am sitting here trying not to loose my mind. I am currently 25 weeks pregnant with DD2 and am thinking part of my reaction is pregnancy hormones. After telling DD I wasn't happy with the choice, but it was her choice I hung up the phone. I have been crying and silent screaming for 10 minutes.

I don't want to say anything to bad to her. I know that it is her choice.

Could someone help give me a reality check that shaving her head isn't that bad? I need to get a grip as it is her life.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Wolfiefan · 09/06/2020 20:01

Yeah nice legs if that’s you then you seriously rock that hair. Don’t think your username is fair TBH! (Not casting aspersions on your legs though. Blush)

saleorbouy · 09/06/2020 20:07

Not really worth getting in a tizz about, it's just HER hair, it'll grow back.

sillysmiles · 09/06/2020 20:07

@CrazyLady82, the reason I think she deserves an apology is because I think your daughter should know she can come and tell you anything without judgement, and you have shown her she can't and that you will judge. And if you hang up on her over something minor like hair......

sleepydragons · 09/06/2020 20:07

@PrincessHoneysuckle

Silently screaming? Dont go to the sistine chapel whatever you do.Youll be fucked.
Grin
windmill26 · 09/06/2020 20:08

I have done that and plenty more when I was your daughter age.If you look at me now almost 50 years young and looking very middle class you wouldn't think that we were the same person. Don't freak out about stuff like this ,it's part of growing up .

theprincessmittens · 09/06/2020 20:13

I did exactly the same last October. I was sick of dying my hair, didn't like the colour anyway and wanted to go natural. I don't have the patience to grow it out so I shaved it all off. It was a long bob at the time. 8 months later and it's growing out nicely. I haven't regretted it for one moment, and have saved a fortune on hairdressing.

Your daughter is 18, therefore a adult. What she does to her hair is no longer any of your business. You don't own her or her hair, so if you think it's some sort of reflection on you or your parenting, you are being unbelievably controlling and even narcissistic.

Worry about your own fucking hair and leave her alone.

akerman · 09/06/2020 20:14

DS did this. It grew back quicker than I expected.

NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace · 09/06/2020 20:16

@Wolfiefan

Thank you Blush Definitely me. I'm 53 so it's not a teenage rebellion thing: I've been shaving my head for years.

And ... you're too kind but, as I noted on another thread today, I wasn't at the front of the queue when God was doing faces. My legs are pretty nice though Blush

I just wanted the OP to know that her daughter will be fine and that it's perfectly possible to hold down a conventional job Smile

Notnownotneverever · 09/06/2020 20:18

Sounds like pregnancy hormones to me. You’ll get over it. It is only hair and it will grow back eventually anyway. She actually sounded like she had pretty good reason for it.

NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace · 09/06/2020 20:19

@GalwayGrowl

Thank you Blush Definitely me. I just wanted the OP to know that all will be fine. I'm 53 with a sensible job (and a not so sensible life).

I'm a happy soul Smile

putastrawunderbaby · 09/06/2020 20:20

If you're crying and silently screaming over this, what on earth would you do if something genuinely awful happened? Save the histrionics for something important

Branleuse · 09/06/2020 20:20

ha my mum went nuts when i shaved my head at17 too, then she saw it and went, oh, it looks nice actually

AwwDontGo · 09/06/2020 20:20

NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace

I think that you do look really cool in that photo.

NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace · 09/06/2020 20:21

And .... my ears are a bit sticky outy too Blush It doesn't matter. I still love it.

Wolfiefan · 09/06/2020 20:21

I’m so glad you took that in the spirit in which it was meant nice! Grin
And 53? Really????
I’m not changing my user name to reflect my personal appearance.
@reallyfatandhaggardwithoutdecentlegsoraniceface
Wink

ItsSpittingEverybodyIn · 09/06/2020 20:22

Do you mean she actually cut her head off? That's the only reason I can think you'd be crying.

Iwantacookie · 09/06/2020 20:23

I helped dd (15) shave her head first day of lockdown. It's going to be one of the only times in her life she can get away with it. It looks fabulous on her. Ds2 is desperate for a haircut but wont let me and can currently pop a bobble in. It's only hair and shes an adult.

Couchbettato · 09/06/2020 20:25

This is such a non-issue. She's an adult, and I'm surprised she felt like she even had to consult you on the matter at all.

I wouldn't pick the phone up and tell my mum I'd just shaved my head, and I'd give her a bloody wobble if she dared think she was valid in voicing her opinion to me about it unless I asked.

I think you need to accept that she can make her own choices and you're not in control of her any more.

BatShite · 09/06/2020 20:26

I cannot imagine ever being bothered by this? Its her hair, not mine.

Could make sense of this if she had somehow managed to shave your hair

Mind, pregnancy did weird things to me, so I guess I might have maybe got upset when pregnant..

NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace · 09/06/2020 20:32

@Wolfiefan

I seriously doubt that you're anything like your proposed user name.

If you want a laugh, though. Google 'Nice Legs same about the Face' by The Monks (released in 1979 when I was just starting to listen to the 'pop charts' as they were then) and have a listen on YouTube. It's a remark made by a group of sexist men to a blind date but .... get the punchline at the end Grin

NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace · 09/06/2020 20:34

Shame not same

GrumpyHoonMain · 09/06/2020 20:35

This is just her way of acting out due to the pregnancy. The more attention you give her the more extreme her action next time. Also, you need to consider that if you had her young and her childhood was less than ideal a new baby sibling might be bringing it all back for her.

Centaurpede · 09/06/2020 20:38

She's 18, she can do what she wants to her hair! At least it's nothing permanent that she might regret, like a tattoo or a piercing.

Canyouhelpme · 09/06/2020 20:41

When I was 19 I had a haircut shorter than I was used to that I really liked, my mum said it looked like something from the 60s and made some comments about my appearance. It’s stayed with me since, now I feel self conscious every time I get a haircut. In fact initially I went shorter after that because I knew she didn’t like it.

choli · 09/06/2020 20:42

This is just her way of acting out due to the pregnancy. The more attention you give her the more extreme her action next time.
An adult shaving her own hair during a lockdown is "acting out"?