Dad's boyfriend doesn't want me to see his house.

[AuntyBess]

DD has a lovely kind caring boyfriend who she's been seeing since November. He's the year above her at her old school, and crossed paths through mutual family friend.

We live about 3 miles apart, when he comes to our house I tend to offer I'm a lift home as his dad isn't keen on driving in the evenings.

At his request I drop him off at the corner of his road and then he'll just jog the rest of the way.

DD had been to his house a few times, so it's not as though he's concealing his life from her.

He's explained that he's "not comfortable yet" having me drop him at his home. I've respected this and tried to understand his feelings.

AIBU to be saddened by this?

Of course that's DD's boyfriend.

I think that's a bit strange
Could be a bit of a back story

But weird, what does your daughter say about his home?

Where he lives is not your business. I’ve been with my husband 20 years and our parents have never set foot in each other’s houses and never will. We all live in the same city.

Why would it sadden you? It’s your teenage daughters boyfriend; chances are you won’t even know him in less than a year.

It’s his house and his private business.

Where he lives is not your business

What now? She’s driving him home! She’s not asking to go inside..🤣

He must be embarrassed about something.

I assume this isn't happening at the moment.

How old are they? What's your house like? Maybe he's worried you won't think he's good enough for you?

My house was a state growing up and I was embarrassed especially in front of my friends with nice houses. I never invited anybody there. I would assume this is the reason if he seems otherwise nice and normal.

Why do you want to see his house?

I assume this isn't happening at the moment.

Please don’t be so tedious. Every thread that mentions any kind of interaction at all these days has someone sanctimoniously popping up to check that there isn’t a breach of lockdown occurring.

We are all adults. We can all assume it’s not happening right now, particularly when it’s not remotely relevant to the OP’s question. You don’t need to be the Mumsnet hall monitor.

Ask your daughter. We can all speculate.

Here here @zscaler it's so predictable and dull.

Maybe he's embarrassed at the idea of all the parents meeting!

Why do you want to see his house?

Are people being deliberately obstuse. How can you not know when you drive someone home it is normal to drop them actually at their house and not a distance away so you can’t see it.

I can understand why you might be curious, puzzled it nosey. I gave no idea why you are saddened.

Maybe he's embarrassed? I think it's quite normal for teenagers to feel like that about their homes at times.

My nan was a hoarder and had 7 kids in a 3 bed house in the 50's and 60's and my dad and his brother's and sisters were always too embarrassed to take friends there and spent as much time at friends houses or playing out as they could. When nan was older and I visited (rarely which I regret now) I couldn't stay for long as she was a heavy smoker (60 b&h gold a day inside) and I just remember my eyes streaming after five minutes. It maybe something like this?

He’s embarrassed

He could be embarrassed, maybe it's a bit run down or his dads not very nice.
Is there a difference between the neighbourhoods that you're aware of?

Maybe he’s embarrassed by you 😆Or maybe he doesn’t want to risk his own nosey parents coming out to say hello?

I came from a council estate. I was embarrassed by this when I was a teen and I wouldn't have friends over. Especially as a lot if them lived in mansions (slightly exaggerating)

My parents visited my teenage bfs house once I think, but they've never been to any of my other "in laws". It just never happened & that's pretty normal I think.

I've had 2 bfs in their early or mid 20s still at home who weren't comfortable showing ME the family home. One ex who didn't want me exposed to warring parents and was embarrassed by the atmosphere and one with an Onslow & Daisy home (in his mind) which didn't live up to his Hyacinth Bouquet dreams. Used to stay with the latter but could tell he didn't like it.

It may be that he’s embarrassed of the house - I know as a teenager I was of my parents house. I can see it’s ridiculous now of course but it’s not very well kept/quite tatty compared to the other houses on the street and most of my friends had nicer houses.

He may also be trying to avoid you meeting his parents which he might anticipate being awkward.