To think a UK size 16-18 is not curvy but fat?

[GymGirl23]

Yes I know some will probably flame me for using the word fat but I'm concerned about some family members. The Mum is 5ft 4" with 3 daughters aged betwen 18 and 22 who are all a similar height. She and the eldest both take medication for High BP and the other 2 daughters are also heading that way.

The Mum said a while ago that it was 'great' they could swap clothes as they're all now a size 16-18! What bugs me is they are totally clueless about health topics and diet and the Mum has fed the girls crap diets all of their lives high in salt, fat and sugar. Even when they cook at home it's high in fat and sugar with huge portions! The worst part is she buries her head in the sand saying they're luckily not a fat family but are all just curvy girls and that it runs in the family along with High BP! The fact is they are all FAT and it's self inflicted and unfair on themselves. The girls are huge now with double chins and have no waists but hey they take great care with makeup, tan, hair and nails so that makes it OK then? Why can't they see what they're doing to themselves? My Mum says I shouldn't offer them advice as they get very offended if anyone ever suggested they were even slightly overweight but I would like to help them as I know alot about nutrition and keeping fit.

Are people who are that size truly happy with how they look and feel and do they believe they're not fat but have curves instead?

Anyone can be in denial!

What would you be in denial of if you’re a size 6?

@WaterOffADucksCrack well said and well done you for taking control of your health!

Now you must be being deliberately obtuse Alsohuman. Are you in fact human?

It's all height dependant... A shorter person has to be a smaller size to be healthy. A taller person being a size 4/6 will probably look emaciated.

BMI isn't a great standard either but it's better than nothing. I've never been underweight vandvat a size 4 I looked like I would disappear, yet my BMI was of 20.

No I’m pointing out the flaws in your logic. Do you think that pop about my user name hasn’t been made many times already or do you genuinely think it’s clever?

I hadn't seen that before no, apologies.

What are the flaws in my logic?

OP and others who say but they are fat and are in denial etc.
Before you go to someone to force your opinions or 'help' onto them please think of this.
I was and still am fat. I lost all my weight then put it on in pregnancy. When I was 20 a friend of mine came to me and said she was worried about my weight and maybe if I started eating better for example she liked chicken salad then maybe I would loose my weight. What she didn't know was that I was severely depressed, not even my parents knew this so no family or friends were aware. That comment from someone who I cared about was the thing that broke me. In that moment I went to myself well that goes to show that everyone judges you, you'll never be loved or accepted for who you are, everyone is laughing at you because you're fat and I tried to take my own life.
Thankfully it didn't end up that way but please please if you take anything from this thread take the fact that it may be the final straw for some people. You don't know what someone is going through and to be honest OP your comments about makeup and fake tan etc were nasty.

It's not really any of your business but in answer to your general point, it's hard to say if they are curvy or fat. They may be curvy and fat or they may be just fat. I'm on some plastic surgery Facebook groups for tummy tucks and a lot of women on there believe they have curves, then have all their fat removed and find they're actually straight up and down and distinctly lacking curves. Fat on your tummy can give the illusion of curves. Curvy is a term that a lot of women hide behind to make their weight more acceptable to themselves. It's sad that different body shapes are not more socially acceptable.

This thread is an indication of how your advice might be received @GymGirl23

Do they visit you often? Could you leave info lying around? Do you do anything they would like to have a go at? Hiking? Camping? Cycling? Kayaking? A sport? Could you invite one if they show interest?
I get what you are saying and it is hard watching someone you love self destruct so YANBU to be concerned but I wouldn't say anything unless they ask for advice. On the other hand I wouldn't engage in their delusional 'curvy' rubbish. I would change the subject to something else very abruptly.

Oh and by the time they get menopausal they will really be up against it! I have been 10-12 (14 at my biggest )(I'm 5ft 3in)most of my adult life but as I've got to the menopause, the eat a little less, move more definitely doesn't work any more. I'm struggling to keep at 12. If I don't watch it, it will creep up.

it is hard watching someone you love self destruct so YANBU to be concerned but I wouldn't say anything unless they ask for advice. On the other hand I wouldn't engage in their delusional 'curvy' rubbish

As you know nothing about their state of health you aren't in a position to say that they are on 'self-destruct', and as you know nothing about their body shape you aren't in a position to say their description of curvy is 'delusional'.

Well im a 16 but im 6ft tall so i wouldnt call myself fat. Bit rude really

If your relatives were drinking themselves to death you would have no control over it and you have no control over their weight either. Just be kind to them and drop the judgement.

I'm a UK size 22. Yes I'm overweight, and on a healthy eating plan to drop some weight, because I care about my health.

I don't mind being called "fat" "curvy" or "plus sized" it doesn't bother me.

Yes I'm happy. Yes I love my body. So does my boyfriend.
Yes I'm comfortable in my own skin.

and as you know nothing about their body shape you aren't in a position to say their description of curvy is 'delusional'.

A size 16-18 does not have the natural curves that humans are meant to have. They will be rolls. Especially if you are short to average height. I'm 5'9, a so-called healthy BMI and currently a size 14 because I have taken my eye off the ball. Will have proper curves once I'm back to a 8-10 size.

I am actually closer to 5'10 than 5'9... 177cm

@AKissAndASmile that's what I was saying below. Rolls are not curves in the sense that people use the word

So once you get past a size 12 you instantly become spherical?

@AMemeByAnyOtherName spot on. Well done for continuing to be reasonable on a thread full of fat shaming.

OP or any others of you concerned about the 'health' of overweight or obese people would do well to look at Dr Joshua Wolrich. He explains very clearly why shaming people doesn't help their health and the implications that can have for them. I.e. being too scared of being shamed or embarrassed about their size to seek medical treatment. Fear that everything will be brought back to how awful, lazy, unfit, selfish, greedy they are for being fat.

Yes health is important, but weight is not the it measure of health and shouldn't be used as a stick to beat fat people with. At the end of the day you don't like how fat people look so you pretend it's about their health. Or maybe you're jealous that they are happy with themselves, their body and their life when you clearly are so insecure you can't bear for them to do their make up.

@Boshmama you've given me an excellent idea.

Here's a link for anybody wondering why you're being told constantly that shaming overweight people will make the problem worse: www.healthline.com/nutrition/fat-shaming-makes-things-worse

A person who is overweight may need to ask themselves some difficult questions in order to get to the point that they understand what they are doing and how they can help themselves.

In the meantime, suggesting that someone with 'more than one chin' shouldn't bother with makeup, nice clothes or personal care and self acceptance is, quite frankly, disgusting. Nobody makes positive changes to themselves if they have nothing to love and aspire to in the first place. I am SO glad I don't have any friends or acquaintances like some people on this thread IRL.

@GymGirl23 yet you ignored what I said. Funny that!

"Obesity has obviously affected her cognitive ability too."

Stupid fatties, what do they know?

You've had your fun OP, now fuck off back under your bridge.

Perfect, there we go, for anybody else who pops on to the thread to clap along with the OP, please remember the kinds of things she says to people on this thread:
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"Obesity has obviously affected her cognitive ability too"
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You can think what you like about how weight affects health. But dear god please stop applauding this pathetic display of unkindness.