To think a UK size 16-18 is not curvy but fat?

[GymGirl23]

Yes I know some will probably flame me for using the word fat but I'm concerned about some family members. The Mum is 5ft 4" with 3 daughters aged betwen 18 and 22 who are all a similar height. She and the eldest both take medication for High BP and the other 2 daughters are also heading that way.

The Mum said a while ago that it was 'great' they could swap clothes as they're all now a size 16-18! What bugs me is they are totally clueless about health topics and diet and the Mum has fed the girls crap diets all of their lives high in salt, fat and sugar. Even when they cook at home it's high in fat and sugar with huge portions! The worst part is she buries her head in the sand saying they're luckily not a fat family but are all just curvy girls and that it runs in the family along with High BP! The fact is they are all FAT and it's self inflicted and unfair on themselves. The girls are huge now with double chins and have no waists but hey they take great care with makeup, tan, hair and nails so that makes it OK then? Why can't they see what they're doing to themselves? My Mum says I shouldn't offer them advice as they get very offended if anyone ever suggested they were even slightly overweight but I would like to help them as I know alot about nutrition and keeping fit.

Are people who are that size truly happy with how they look and feel and do they believe they're not fat but have curves instead?

People who are fat know they are fat. They don't need unsolicited advice that will effect their self confidence. It's just mean and bitchy. Weight can creep up on you slowly and it can be very difficult to lose weight and keep it off.
The way you come across sounds very judgemental rather than concerned.

[quote Time2change2]@DorsetCamping exactly what I wrote a few comments back from yours - I couldn’t agree more.
Why are so many people in denial here?? Why has the UK dress sizes increased so much? A size 12 now is equal to a size 8-10 in the 1990’s
I was 2 stone overweight 20 years ago. I was moving out of a size 16 and needed bigger. There were hardly any 18’s in the normal shops like Bay Trading etc - maybe one or two items but not many. I started looking in Evans. This is what gave me the push to loose weight. Didn’t want to be restricted to Evans and not to be able to find clothes in my usual shops.
But now- most clothes shops go up to 22+ sizes. You can just go up and up was past overweight into obese and beyond.
It’s not ok. It’s all of our business - this affects all of us- it’s all of our taxes and health system. Smoking is known as bad news. No one fights for the right to smoke when and where they want.
Eating so much of the wrong thing will cause so many illnesses but it’s ok for food companies to fill the shelves full of cheap sugary crap for pennies. It’s ok so say eat what you want- being obese is fine and you are curvy. It’s not ok, not for anyone in this country![/quote]
Why is it not ok for normal shops to stock size 22+ clothes? These people need to be able to wear clothes for the body they have NOW, not just for the one they might have after six months of dieting. Clothing is a basic human need. Should they have to prove weight watchers membership to gain access to said clothes?

"Why is it not ok for normal shops to stock size 22+ clothes? These people need to be able to wear clothes for the body they have NOW, not just for the one they might have after six months of dieting. Clothing is a basic human need. Should they have to prove weight watchers membership to gain access to said clothes?"

Because some people find it offensive if you're fat and have the nerve to wear something other than an old sack. Nice clothes, and hair, and make up, are only to be enjoyed by those who have earned the right to do so, whether than be from dieting or just being lucky enough to stay slim without much effort. If you're fat you have to justify it by hiding yourself away and wearing plain shapeless clothes and don't even think about putting on lipstick or doing your hair lest you draw attention to yourself.

Rather than not stock certain sizes, perhaps the sizing system should be realigned with what it was in the 1960s. A 6 would be a 10 and a 16 would revert to being a 20, or whatever it was then.

Depends what height you are.

A size 12 now is equal to a size 8-10 in the 1990’s

Other way round. Today’s 6 was a 10 a few years ago.

It’s all of our business - this affects all of us- it’s all of our taxes and health system

It is indeed. Including people who weigh more than they should. They pay tax too. Think of the savings on their pensions.

@Justwalkyourfineassoutthedoor

I agree with the poster above. It is not your place to offer unsolicited advice.

Also I'm a size 16 and totally happy at this size. I eat well and exercise daily, I can run a half marathon (building up to a full one!) My clothes size has no relevance to my health or my happiness. Skinny people can be unhealthy, but I'm sure you wouldn't try and offer advise to someone who was a size 6/8 would you?

Yep, this

"Rather than not stock certain sizes, perhaps the sizing system should be realigned with what it was in the 1960s. A 6 would be a 10 and a 16 would revert to being a 20, or whatever it was then."

Why? What if a size 10 in the 60s was an 8 in the 40s?

Probably because vanity sizing feeds denial.

No vanity sizing feeds vanity. Of which size 6 (or in real money 10) are as guilty as anyone else.

In response to the original post. I think it's hard to intervene in these situations because size and body image are emotionally charged topics. One possible method to use is to focus on wellness and fitness. I don't know what sort of relationship you have but maybe suggest doing a yoga or tai chi class together (or something fun that is not too intense.) Cook a healthy dinner to introduce tasty healthy recipes if their diet is poor. If you are truly concerned then a softer approach is likely to have better results.
The end goal after all is to be fit and healthy not 'thin'.

OP, as a size 16 I would love to be offered genuine advice and help with diet and fitness as I just joined the gym before it closed due to lockdown and I’m a fussy eater so struggle with a lot of healthier recipes. It would all depend how you went about it though. If I got a message saying you need my help as you’re fat I’d be a bit defensive. If I got a message such as hi, I was a little concerned for your health and wondered if you’d like me to help with educating you with nutrition / coming up with a nutrition plan to help you etc I’d be more willing to respond accepting the help. Of course it also depends if they’re ready to lose the weight.

Some shops don't stock larger sizes because of image, which is wrong in my opinion. But for many it comes down to £££. Larger sizes do use more material, if you have something bespoke made you will be charged more for bigger sizes, whereas for most shops if they did this, it wouldn't be worth the backlash. Also most clothes are made of a standard sized mannequin and just has cms added but the shape doesn't change, that's why curve ranges fit much better and tend to be more flattering even if it's the same garment in the same size from the standard range.

They can lose weight if they want to. You’ll be stuck with a dog shit personality

Yep, I didn't specify who was susceptible to the vanity. Although I would be put off a shop who went to extremes like that, I prefer more accurate sizing so I know where I am.

People of all sizes can have high blood pressure. My very slim aunt has been medicated for it since she was very young.

Fat shaming people are awful.

16-18 is overweight but it’s not huge. God! I’m a size 20 atm and I would love to be a 16 again.

I kinda understand your frustration at the unhealthy habits. My mum fed me and siblings crap when growing up, nothing healthy, never encouraged to eat healthy food, huge portions, tons of added salt, Allowed to eat before meals. I do believe that this is the reason I struggle with my diet today and have a huge appetite. But I’m an adult, I don’t live with my mum. She might be the route of the problem but I’m certainly the problem now.

This really has turned into a bun fight hasn't it... I love how @AMemeByAnyOtherName is so deluded she actually said I don't have "valid opinions"! Sorry to break it to you but slim people are entitled to their valid opinions just as much as obese people!

The fact is I hate seeing people I love eating themselves to death because that's what they and all obese people are doing. It would be the same if one of my relatives were an alcoholic and drinking themselves to death instead. Once you pass the point of no return with all the health implications because obesity will catch up with you eventually then it's too late to be having regrets then!

Thank you to the poster who suggested me to invite one of them along to the gym when it reopens as that's a good idea.

"This really has turned into a bun fight hasn't it... I love how @AMemeByAnyOtherName is so deluded she actually said I don't have "valid opinions"! Sorry to break it to you but slim people are entitled to their valid opinions just as much as obese people!"

Do these "valid opinions" include telling fat people they're in denial if they say they're happy, or that wearing fake tan/makeup/whatever is pointless because of their double chins?

This thread went exactly the way you wanted.

Yep, I didn't specify who was susceptible to the vanity

Yes you did, you said it fed denial.

I don't know why people are offended at being called fat when they are! It's an adjective like tall or short! I said I was fat when I was my biggest at a size 14! For my height size 8/10 is ideal. I'm curvy at my current size 8 as I have big boobs and a big bum. I was fat at a 12/14 with big boobs, a big bum and a big stomach.

It's interesting some people think we can't say people are fat or overweight when they are but think it's ok to call people bitches or say they're vile for describing someone's weight!

And as predicted there's the "my mum's overweight and her doctor said he wished his blood pressure was as good as hers" or "I'm a size 18 but I've just ran 10k". Slim people can be unhealthy of course they can, no one is saying they can't be. But being fat makes you more at risk from many conditions and usually unhealthier than a slim person.

Anyone can be in denial!

Has anyone on this thread actually taken offence to the word "fat"?

You can be curvy and slim or curvy and fat. You can be just slim or just fat.
I'm 5ft8, 13 and a half stone (about 2 stone overweight), I'm a 16 or sometimes a 14 but I have a 34G bust.
Before kids I was slim curvy. Post kids I'm fat curvy. Probably a little in denial but I don't think I look hideous.

@Sonichu no, but by sidestepping all the snide remarks and put-downs she made, OP is banking on people forgetting what horrible things she did say in order to try and suggest that, by saying people shouldn't be overweight, it causes them to become frothing irrational dicks.

Saying that, a few people did take offense at the suggestion that those that were offended by her tone and language much earlier on 'must be the fat ones'. So I guess in that sense, yes to your question.

Yes fat, but they know that and call themselves curvy to feel better.