To think a UK size 16-18 is not curvy but fat?

[GymGirl23]

Yes I know some will probably flame me for using the word fat but I'm concerned about some family members. The Mum is 5ft 4" with 3 daughters aged betwen 18 and 22 who are all a similar height. She and the eldest both take medication for High BP and the other 2 daughters are also heading that way.

The Mum said a while ago that it was 'great' they could swap clothes as they're all now a size 16-18! What bugs me is they are totally clueless about health topics and diet and the Mum has fed the girls crap diets all of their lives high in salt, fat and sugar. Even when they cook at home it's high in fat and sugar with huge portions! The worst part is she buries her head in the sand saying they're luckily not a fat family but are all just curvy girls and that it runs in the family along with High BP! The fact is they are all FAT and it's self inflicted and unfair on themselves. The girls are huge now with double chins and have no waists but hey they take great care with makeup, tan, hair and nails so that makes it OK then? Why can't they see what they're doing to themselves? My Mum says I shouldn't offer them advice as they get very offended if anyone ever suggested they were even slightly overweight but I would like to help them as I know alot about nutrition and keeping fit.

Are people who are that size truly happy with how they look and feel and do they believe they're not fat but have curves instead?

Yy DorestCamping, but the truly scary thing is that now that most people are overweight, they don't want to hear it.

'Feelings' override science.

Dorset, thanks autocorrect.

Ywbu to offer unsolicited advice. Ywnbu to disagree with her delusion of curvy women if she's pushing it on you or asking.

Many years ago someone who waited until i offered my delusions about my weight, very firmly set me straight because she cared about my health. It made me rethink and now I'm more healthy, slightly overweight

I agree that they are probably overweight, but as above, it really isn't your business OP, unless one of them asks you directly for health advice or weight loss suggestions. It can be frustrating when people complain about ailments that could well be down to weight, and do nothing about their weight, but again, not your business. Leave them be.

I used to be a size 20 and I'm now a 14 which I think is healthy.

Once you get to maybe size 20 and above, that's a real problem and anyone who says that they are happy at such a size is a liar.

There are bloggers who are size 30 or higher blogging about body confidence and the only thing I can thank them for is showing me I did not want to be one of them. I didn't want to be part of that movement.

The plus size brigade would wear short vintage dresses, bold prints, lots of jewelry, bright make up, lots of tattoos, lots of piercings, hairy armpits, no bra etc all to try to distract from the fact they were morbidly obese, whilst at the same time preaching it was because they are 'body confident'. Yeah right.

Seeing as obesity is linked to covid 19, will we finally see the end of this body confident shite? I can't remember the last time I saw Cally, Diamond&Pearls, Arched Eyebrow, Lottie Lamour, Wannabe Princess and all the rest mentioned in the papers. In fact I've noticed a few of them are less active and branching into other areas.

I’m fat. Not massively but I’m 5”4 and in a size 14-16 (was verging on more 16 😳) and I’m fat. I’m losing it now steadily at a pound a week with walking and tracking cals on Fitbit. This helps me not have that extra handful of nuts/an extra bag of crisps etc!

I’d never want to skip back to when I was a size 8, it was too thin for me and I had a hidden post-it note on me daily and logged EVERYTHING I ate (not much). I wasn’t in a good place with food at the end. Yes I was thin and got lots of compliments on how clothes looked on me but I was so unhealthy and was obsessed.

But then, I haven’t been in a good place on the opposite end, eating and drinking what I want and really enjoying life. Which feels great, until I realised I had to keep buying new clothes to accommodate my growth!

OP, you may not have put it as nicely/delicately as you perhaps could have done but I think your overall message is right. Fat is not healthy for our bodies in general. We live in a culture where (Covid aside) we’re lucky enough to eat and drink in a way a lot of countries can’t/don’t and our bodies aren’t made for it.

Most people know their good/optimum weight. For me that’s a 10/12 so I don’t feel the aches from lugging around this blubber, and to keep internally healthy to help avoid illnesses related to fat and weight gain.

I promise you, they absolutely don't want your advice. And to give it, unasked for, would be exceptionally rude.

What diet they follow, and how they choose to care for themselves, is absolutely NONE of your business. And frankly I'd be doing some soul searching to ask yourself why you ever thought it was.

zingally, just to play devil's advocate, if it were your partner or, Idk your niece or someone you really loved putting their health at risk would you just say nothing in case their feelings were hurt? If they looked like they were hurtling towards a lifetime of obesity and all that brings. Wouldn't you at least try?

Tbh the size off clothes shouldn't really come into it as it all depends on which shop you buy from to which size you buy.

But being diabetic at 22 is a concern and also being tested at 18 is also a concern but there doctor will be telling them all off this, hopefully they get a dietitian on helping them control there diabetes.

And speaking to them about there weight, you need to be thinking about your relationship with them before you say anything, if the relationship is an open one where you can talk about these things then go for it if not don't bother as you will likely loose them out off your life.

If I was you I would leave it to the professionals dealing with there diabetes.

Yanbu. We are heading for a UK health crisis if the "average weight" in this country keeps spiraling upwards, and the issues around it aren't addressed. All this recent talk of "protecting the NHS", seems a bit hypocritical, when you see the insane amount of overweight people, that will undoubtedly lead to huge amounts of resources being swallowed up over the next couple of generations. 2 thirds of UK adults are overweight or obese... That means it's now the new normal to be overweight, but this "normal" is costing the NHS over 6 billion pounds a year in trying to fix... It's not normal to be overweight when medical issues (which can be life limiting and threatening) arise from it on such a huge scale. Beginning of the year we went on a UK family holiday, and I was actually shocked in the swimming area seeing the amount of overweight adults, and even more shockingly, children. Children as young as 4, hugely overweight and clearly being set up for a lifetime of health issues. Actually felt like as a slim/average weight family, we were very much in the minority, and felt quite self conscious of this. One of my girls has even been teased for being "small" (she's 5, sporty, active, and is a perfect weight for her height) by a group of the larger children in her class... It's hard to assure her she's a perfect, ideal weight for her height, when 80% of her class are overweight, so again she feels she's in the minority, and different as she isn't fat. I know she's a good weight, as are a few of her friends, but the majority, the "new normal", will be overweight/obese adults. It saddens me.

Here's a question for the "curvy" folk. And this is a genuine question not trolling.

Look at pictures of typical UK teenagers from the 1970s and 1980s. Even the 1990s.

Then look at photos of today's teenagers.

Can someone please tell me if those teenagers today are actually the healthy ones, in that they have reached a body image and size they are comfortable with and want to be that?

Or is it the product of convenience food, poor nutrition and tons of readily available food, plus a weird blog culture that celebrates everything?

The 1980s teenagers were hardly starving - they were just active. People ran around more.

I'm sure I'll get tons of "my DCs are active" posts but this isn't for you.

Why do you care so much anyway?

How much space some young women I have never met and an not going to meet is supremely dull topic.

Worry about yourself.

I agree, they are overweight.

However, on MN these discussions turn into a bun fight rather than adult conversation.

Size 16 had become normalised in the UK. I bought a pair of size 10 trousers in M & S this week which is ludicrous. I am at least 20lbs overweight.

*how much space they take up

@Glitteryone

YANBU at all!

16-18 is fat not curvy.

People sugar coat shit, well done you for speaking the truth!

Absolutely!!

And suggesting a size 24 is not fat is very wild. I say this as short person at 5ft 3 once you go above a size 14 there’s not a lot of Lea way let’s be honest. To raise children, teens and adults into thinking this is okay is simple not right and also cruel

Size 16 had become normalised in the UK. I bought a pair of size 10 trousers in M & S this week which is ludicrous. I am at least 20lbs overweight.

M&S sizes have always been big but they have got steadily bigger. I can't shop for clothes in there any more

@GinDaddyRedux I agree with you. Times have changed. Children don’t exercise and play out like they use to. So many pound shops around and like your saying it’s convenient.

There is a real problem with food pricing in the UK. How can they justify such high prices for fresh fruit and veg while selling highly processed, fatty crap, dirt cheap. BOGOF on multipacks of empty calories, every flavour of shite under the sun piled high at the ends of the isles. It's really hard to make good food choices when they are harder work, cost more and are too bland for our jaded palates.

The price of fruit and veg isn’t high, it’s just as cheap as the crap.

It wasn't a question of if they are overweight. The thing that people don't agree with is that OP needs to get involved. It is none of her business and especially if you are her god mother a sure fire way to break down a relationship.
Not all 16s are fat, it depends on your body type and the shop you buy from.

They are fat and unhealthy. No getting around that however you want to paint it.

No point interfering though. They don't care and don't want to change yet. If they ask for advice, help then. Otherwise leave them to it.

It’s definitely overweight; yes. But health can depend on other measurements and metrics - bp, blood sugar, waist measurement, etc.

For balance, I am ‘Overweight’ and I eat a lot but largely a balanced diet with loads of veg and protein heavy foods. I do loads of exercise (weightlifting and spin usually but running during corona) and I have a small waist. My resting heart rate/ bp etc are all good.

Likewise I have friends the same size as me with sedentary lifestyles, lots of junk food, and big bellies and conditions such as type 2 diabetes.

So it’s not just about dress size !

Blaming the food that's more readily available or cheaper than fresh food is silly. I don't find it difficult at all to walk past processed crap, there are times when I fancy something like crisps and I will go out intentionally to get a pack. Otherwise, I have cooked from scratch since I was 15 years old. A jar of bolognese sauce isn't cheaper than a few tomatoes and some herbs that stay in your cupboard for months on end. People aren't encouraged to be resourceful, they are encouraged to choose convenience every time, because we 'all have busy lifestyles'.

None of this detracts from the fact that OP and now many others are being intentionally obtuse and insensitive, as though they believe 'real talk' is what will fix the obesity problem in the west. Here's a thought: if all you needed to do was say 'um no actually you're just too big, deal with it', then a lot of people would be much slimmer right now. In actual fact, using blunt and insensitive language causes people to feel worse about themselves, lowers self esteem and ADDS to the obesity problem.

So anybody who is lording it up about how 'fat they used to be' and how people need to 'wake up', just F off. Nobody wants to listen to you. Otherwise they would have done by now. If you're that amazing, send me a link to your weight loss self help book online.

I'm going to speak up again, slowly for the people on this thread who seem deficient in both intelligence and empathy.

1. We fat people know we are fat, we do not need you to tell us.
2. It is possible to be fat and beautiful. I am an 18, fat, beautiful, fabulously dressed, popular, loved, and much chatted up. I am absolutely happy with myself.
3. Again for the hard of thinking, I know I am fat, I used to be 11 stone fatter than this. I am aware of the health risks, and have been on a long journey. Fat is absolutely a mental health issue.
4. Read my journey above again and digest the fact that you do not know anyone's mental health journey.
5. I don't mind you using the word fat. Fat is not the worst thing you can be. I would rather be fat than be unkind, boring or stupid and narrow minded.
6. Just, you know, try not to be a cunt.

Your not wrong, I am a 5.4 size 18 women and I am very fat. I do need to ask though. why are you so bothered about their weight? It seems rather than being concerned you are judging them. If they wanted to do something about it, they would.