AIBU ski hol

[hedgehogfriendly]

Ok so, situation is this. Both DH and myself laid off during pandemic, v v lucky to say parents helping us out with bills that still need paying, doing work for them in return. DH announced that his mates (with families) are going on a ski hol in nov. He wants us to go to, sats he will have found a job by then and if not cancellation fee is £200 so is not too bad (im fully aware how privileged this sounds, please don't burn me for this, I don't agree with that stance). I don't want to go for 3 reasons.

1. Think it's a pisstake to be spending money we don't have on a hol, even if we have jobs by then we should be using it to repay shit.
2. The other family's kids are way older than my kids (mine are 4 and 7, theirs are more like teenagers). Don't think DH Has thought about fact that when his mates plus kids are skiing red slopes and in bars at night, ours won't be doing that so he'll not be able to bugger off every day with the older lot.
3. Still worried about Coronavirus. Not even sure if I'll be able to visit my vulnerable parents by Nov. Feeling nervous about booking hols this side of the new year.

AIBU to be nervous? Need a bit of a check on this maybe. So bloody confused by all the arguments. Could do with a range of opinions...

2.

I don't want to sound like I have all bases covered. We have pissed money down the drain and ended up in sticky situations more times than I care to remember...

@ChateauMargaux yes definitely I get it, sometimes you need to just bloody live don't you, save some for a rainy day but make sure you have enough to dance when it's sunny lol. Not much dancing here at the min though lol more like shuffling. Hopefully we can get back on our feet and not have too many more blow ups about skiing (although I have a very good idea that he's still planning on trying to book it with or without my say so, which would really upset me if he does...) x

Ps name changed for a different post and forgot to change back lol I'm shit at this

@GetOutOfThereHoggle: I was wondering if this would be something he'd try to do. Just book it and say; it's done now.

But how can they give you cancellation info when its not been decided when and where

Probably because they're looking at a package company that has the same T&Cs for any holiday it sells.

Which I doubt the DH has read correctly, because he thinks its £50 pp deposit and that's all they will lose if they cancel, but what's more likely is that they only have to pay £50 pp now, but if they cancel they'll find that the full deposit is more like £200 pp and they'll still owe that money even if they cancel.

You see lots of posts on MN and other internet forums where people have said 'I need to cancel my holiday and I thought I would only lose the £200 deposit but now the travel agent says I owe them another £600' because they don't read and understand the implications of the 'special low deposit pay only £50 pp if you book now' offer.

If you're already thinking you'll cancel before you book, that's generally a clear sign that booking would be the wrong thing to do.

I’m sorry you’re having to deal with such a man child, Hoggle. How tedious. I think you’re doing entirely the right thing.

We have a ski holiday ‘booked’ for next Feb. We have paid a (genuinely completely) refundable €200 deposit at a hotel, which we put down in February 2019 to secure our room for the half term week in 2021. We won’t make the call on going till after Christmas I imagine, and will book the ferry as close to time as we can.

Skiing is bloody expensive but my eyes are popping at some of these costs and thinking we have stumbled on the Holy Grail of ski holidays! We manage a week in an all inclusive ‘ski in, ski out’ four star hotel, ski school and childcare included, in Austria, in half term week, for about 7k including the cost of driving. I always thought it was far too much but now I feel like we get a bargain. We did go in December once though and it was shit - no snow and icy cannoned slopes.

@hedgehogfriendly..... I was where you were at when my kids were about 6 to 10 years old. Over a quarter of a century ago. I seriously considered getting out then. I wish I had. Instead I wasted all these years. Don't be me - be brave!!

I totally agree with you - you can’t go for all the reasons that you’ve explained and that’s that.

I’d not have necessarily “outed” him to his friends if he was worried about saving face, but Would have threatened to if he didn’t stop behaving like a child. Which it seems he is.

Not the point but skiing holidays are fab with young kids. Whenever we’ve been there’s loads for non-skiers to do - sleigh rides, snow mobiles, cross country skiing, walks, snow men, ice skating, outdoor hot tubs, pool tables and home cinemas etc.

However we have been to top end USA/Canada resorts (Think Vail, Tremblant, Aspen etc) in private chalets. Those holidays were £££££.

Haven’t been in Europe for 20+ years since I was a child, but those resorts I visited back then weren’t set up like that then. They were more basic and geared towards fairly basic hotels with limited facilities. And they weren’t the cheapest option. I’m sure things have moved on though.

If it’s a more basic type of resort/accommodation with just skiing / apres ski I’d probably not take young kids, particularly if I’d be left holding the babies. If it’s got all the extras and people are willing to share the Potential non skiing days with the kids, go for it.

I think if he booked it anyway without my knowledge/consent I think that would be the straw that broke the camel's back, I'd lose all respect for him (not that he deserves much now anyway) & separate

Is there any update on this @hedgehogfriendly? Did he accept that you're not going?

@Jokie well he's said to the others that he'll come if he can afford it but the whole situation sparked off some really unpleasant arguments, lots of cracks have been papered over during our marriage, mainly me constantly hoping he'll stop being so selfish and constantly critical and turn back into the guy I thought I married. It's not quite even happened though, at least not for enough periods of time for it to be any more than a fleeting couple weeks at a time. So I have big and scary decisions to make now. No job because of the pandemic, two young kids, no family, no money, and a big scary mess. All a bit shit really. Think the ski hol situation was the light to the touch paper. I just keep hoping things will improve and that we will get things back on track but he's an extremely stubborn man and quite arrogant at times so he's very difficult to talk to. In fact he's point blank refusing to talk to me about anything. So I don't have many options right now really :( xx

Meant to say no family near me

I'm so sorry to hear that :( I really thought that it might have made him realise that he was being unreasonable.