AIBU ski hol

[hedgehogfriendly]

Ok so, situation is this. Both DH and myself laid off during pandemic, v v lucky to say parents helping us out with bills that still need paying, doing work for them in return. DH announced that his mates (with families) are going on a ski hol in nov. He wants us to go to, sats he will have found a job by then and if not cancellation fee is £200 so is not too bad (im fully aware how privileged this sounds, please don't burn me for this, I don't agree with that stance). I don't want to go for 3 reasons.

1. Think it's a pisstake to be spending money we don't have on a hol, even if we have jobs by then we should be using it to repay shit.
2. The other family's kids are way older than my kids (mine are 4 and 7, theirs are more like teenagers). Don't think DH Has thought about fact that when his mates plus kids are skiing red slopes and in bars at night, ours won't be doing that so he'll not be able to bugger off every day with the older lot.
3. Still worried about Coronavirus. Not even sure if I'll be able to visit my vulnerable parents by Nov. Feeling nervous about booking hols this side of the new year.

AIBU to be nervous? Need a bit of a check on this maybe. So bloody confused by all the arguments. Could do with a range of opinions...

2.

I think the no job is the main reason here. We were hoping to book skiing for this winter but all on hols while coronavirus hopefully goes away and we know our income is secure.
Honestly I don’t think it’s at all certain that holidays abroad will restart properly for many months. Many travel companies will sadly go bust so people will lose money and many more people will lose their jobs. Travel companies are despiser to have cash coming in hence lots of offers-
Doesn’t mean at all that the holidays will go ahead!
I have zero faith in this government to get rid of the virus as other countries have managed. As it stands anyone returning to the UK from today have to isolate for 2 weeks.

We are hoping to go ski-ing again this winter in fact I was looking the other day at holidays. However we normally book last minute and will do again this year, there is no way I would be booking a ski holiday at the moment. I completely agree with your stance on this, your DH is being very unreasonable. Given what you've said will 'round 3' be - "well I'll go on my own then?". Ski holidays with young children are briliant fun however you are with a different group and I would not want to go if there was a chance I would be 'left holding the baby'. Additionally what sort of accommodation is it (apologies if you've said already) - who is doing all the catering etc?

All on HOLD

Also why is he so confident that you'll both get new jobs? Doesn't he realise that we're heading into a recession?

Does your DH have a total cost OP? Obviously the £200 deposit is to lure you in, but what is the final cost? Is it a package or a chalet you are (not) booking?

I still wouldn’t book for December until about 2 weeks before travel. Snow conditions can vary immensely, and on our first ever ski holiday in January 1990, we had no snow in Austria. A very expensive mistake.

We have gone away at new year the past few years, and noticed that there are bargains to be had for Christmas flights and chalets.

I’ve done Christmas skiing and was skiing on ice & rocks all week.

Never again

Maybe change your tactic... Darling, if your parents could give us an extra £1,500 per month then we could easily start paying our bills again and save the £6k we would need to have that wonderful holiday you want t in December. It would be lovely!! Do you think they can stretch to that?

Sorry forgot to say, if it’s a package, don’t see the rush to book. I’m sure you will be able to get same package once you’re financials are clearer. Obviously a shared chalet is a different proposition where you need to commit now to share the costs and can’t really back out later without causing problems.

Can't believe no one in this whole thread has used the phrase "taking the piste" or "slippery slope"

I'm so sorry you are dealing with such an idiot man child.
He really needs to get his priorities in order!

I wouldn't be surprised that the other couples have a rethink and start pulling out of this in any event OP.

Skiing is great fun but super expensive. With very little ones a week is too long for a first trip too. We did Scotland for a long weekend when they were tiny - far cheaper (less nights accommodation, no health insurance needed, drove, found a kids stay and eat free offer), no language issues and childcare (if you use it) is ofsted inspected. Once they are a bit older then is the time for the alps

@schoolsoutforcovid

Well it's relevant because my ski holiday cost 4K for 2 adults (child went free) in a basic double room 2* hotel that wasn't all inclusive for only 5 nights, so it does work out considerably more expensive than your examples which are for a whole family/14 nights/all inclusive

I've texted the other people going whose numbers I have, explaining my reasons. I got back cancellation information about the trip etc etc.. hope I change my mind type thing. I can't budge though. It's crazy. So glad MN seems to agree at least. It's all feeling quite exhausting. I just don't get how he doesn't see what I see. He's acting like a spoiled man child. I keep getting told I'm daft to even mention corona's impact (I don't mean our financial situation, I mean the unknown travel situation, quarantine, insurance, social distancing etc) and everything will be fine by then. It's a small part of my argument but I disagree. No one has a clue what's going to happen this year. Probably not the time to spend money we don't even have. I know the world has to get back to normal and we are creeping that way which will hopefully get everything back on its feet, but surely things to do with hols and travel will be a bit up in the air for a while? Am I crazy thinking that?!

But how can they give you cancellation info when its not been decided when and where?

And how could you change your mind, do they think you will win the lottery?

Sounds like your "friends" have a shared chalet in mind that will only work with a certain number of people. If this is the case then if you cancel you'll effectively be cancelling everyone's holiday.

Good friends don't force people to spend money they don't have on holidays, particularly ones that aren't suitable.

I don't think you're crazy.

DH loves skiing and he's a "stick to the rules whilst looking at the science" type. The only ski trip he's booking until things are much more clear is one where his friend has booked a refundable Airbnb and nothing else. In March.

Stick to your guns, as possible have said it's not a cheap holiday, we spent nearly £9k on a weeks skiing 4 of us.
Your sensible to not agree to this on the basis you don't even know if you will be employed and have a regular income by then.
Is he the type that would want to be out every night leaving you looking after the kids and off skiing whilst you sort the kids? He sounds like the sort to do this.

You have much more important spending priorities if you do come into some money before a holiday!

Can't believe 'friends' are pressuring you like that. Well done for holding firm.

Honestly, he just sounds so unattractive and like such a manbaby. I love skiing and so does DH, and if the autumn goes OK I dare say we might look at a last minute 2021 trip, but it would be crazy to book one in your position.

Is this the only issue in your relationship? Seeing as you genuinely think he might take your children without you and then dump them on someone else, I'm suspecting not...

@HauntedGoatFart no you're right, not the first problem we've had.. all along similar lines I'm afraid. It's that weird no mans land of never feels bad enough to leave but not good enough to be 100% happy (which should be enough to leave but easier said than done..) It's been a long road of ups and downs. Ups are good, but on the downs it's a struggle and very frustrating. He has lots of good points but is very stubborn and can be extremely selfish. Can be very harsh when he's stressed. I'm painting a shit picture aren't I?! I can't say I'm really unhappy to the point where I have to get out, but I'm not madly happy either. Very confusing and tiring and a little bit scary at times, mainly cos of the uncertainty and the fact that I'm not a very good decision maker and tend to dither and think too much x

I would be concerned that your finances are so precarious that without work you have to stop paying council tax but your earning potential would allow you to have a £XXXX holiday. Under normal circumstances do you have no savings or are your fixed outgoings very high?

@ChateauMargaux we have a small amount of savings but are currently using them to top up our outgoings. We'll need it more when the bulls we have stopped start up again.. DH is the type who would rather spend them on a hol (YOLO person), I am more measured and would rather be able to pay our bills for the next few months. In other words I'm having to be the adult.