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Original poster

Puppy being left alone the majority of the day...

115 replies

Puppyproblem123 · 07/06/2020 12:25

My fiancé and I don't live together, and at the beginning of the lockdown (before it was announced) he decided to get a puppy. We are planning to buy a house together. I have a cat and 2 DC. When lockdown was announced he came to live with us, bringing along the puppy. Puppy is now 5 months old.

I am very concerned about the puppy as it gets very little interaction throughout the day and I have no experience with dogs, only my cat. DP gets up in the morning to walk the puppy, then we walk him again in the mid-afternoon around 4pm. We are both working from home and I am also juggling the 2 DC, so the puppy is left on its own for hours in the conservatory with access to the garden. For example, this morning DP took the puppy for a walk (7am - 9am) and the puppy has been on its own since. DP has been playing playstation and I have been working, the puppy has been barking and crying. Occasionally DP will go in when the puppy is barking and put him in the crate so he can go back to playing playstation. It seems cruel to me. I am concerned that the puppy will end up with issues or badly socialised. I have never had dogs before so I don't know if this is normal or how you are supposed to care for a puppy.

I never agreed to this puppy, and I cannot have the puppy running free roam in the house whilst juggling the 2 DC, working, trying to maintain an orderly home and with my cat who doesn't like the puppy and constantly hisses or tries to attack the dog. Hence why the puppy is contained to the conservatory with access to the garden.

OP posts:
HappyHammy · 07/06/2020 12:30

Thats not a good environment for anyone 2 or 4 legged. Pup needs love and attention not to sit in a crate. The cat is stressed. You are stressed. Either he treats the pup with the respect it deserves or you suggest he rehome it to a family that can give it the time and love it needs. I would also consider rehoming your lazy partner.

Original poster
Puppyproblem123 · 07/06/2020 12:33

Other than the walks, I am the only one actually interacting with the puppy. I try to get him out for half an hour and play with him and in the evenings he comes out and sits on the sofa with us for a bit. I am an animal lover and it just seems cruel to leave him for the amount of time he is being left, but I can't do much more whilst trying to do what I mentioned above.

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 07/06/2020 12:33

Why on earth did you agree to getting a dog in the first place and why are you putting up with a partner who sounds like he spends too much time on a games console . The current set up is cruel for any dog let alone a puppy .

Hoppinggreen · 07/06/2020 12:34

No, that’s not right at all. If you posted this in The Doghouse you would get your arse handed to you (quite rightly)
A 2 hour walk is too long for a puppy, it could sustain long term damage to its joints
The puppy should be part of your household, if it can’t be or you don’t want it to be your fiancée needs to take it somewhere it can, either back to his house to stay with him, back to the breeder or to a rescue for rehoming
Putting a puppy in a crate is to keep it safe for short periods when you HAVE to leave it, not so some man child can “ play games”
This puppy will probably develop separation anxiety and will grow up to be a nightmare. It’s not being socialised, this will also cause issues long term
What is the plan going forward? Sounds like nobody wants the poor thing, if you are going to integrate your households will the puppy be part of that? He will need to get on with the carpets at some point if so.
How old are your dc? Very few children aren’t interested in a puppy, although if under a certain age you need to supervise
Your Finance sounds like a dick by the way and I couldn’t love or respect a man who has such a cavalier attitude to another living thing, especially a baby that’s recently left it’s mum.

Original poster
Puppyproblem123 · 07/06/2020 12:34

I didn't agree to getting a dog and I never would have. He has wanted a dog for ages, his childhood dog died and he got one to 'share' with his extended family.

OP posts:
Clymene · 07/06/2020 12:34

Your fiancé is an animal abuser and you're not much better. Perhaps you should reconsider your plans for marriage - apart from the animal neglect, why do you want to marry a man who spends his day playing PlayStation?

Hoppinggreen · 07/06/2020 12:35

Puppy needs to get on with the CAT not carpets

Hoppinggreen · 07/06/2020 12:36

Great, send it to his extended family, unless they are as bloody pointless as him

Original poster
Puppyproblem123 · 07/06/2020 12:38

I am going to suggest we take him to his extended family today. I am not an animal abuser, I have kept cats for years. I am trying my best to look after the puppy (which I never agreed to, wanted and have no idea how to care for) whilst juggling my own household too.

OP posts:
CoquettishIngenue · 07/06/2020 12:38

@Floralnomad

The third paragraph starts with "I never agreed to this puppy..."

If you're going to jump on to criticise, at least read the opening post in full.

Euclid · 07/06/2020 12:39

I agree with @Clymene. Now that your fiancé has shown what he is like to live with, I would reconsider the marriage. He sounds selfish and cruel. I would insist that the poor little puppy goes back to the breeder.

Hoppinggreen · 07/06/2020 12:42

Yes, consider this a trial run for buying a house together.
You didn’t want to or agree to a puppy and yet there is one living in your house - while your useless fiancé plays on his PlayStation
Wake up call perhaps? You might want to change your user name to “Fianceproblem123”

Hillocrew · 07/06/2020 12:42

Why can't the puppy be in the same room as your bf when he's on the PlayStation?
The puppy would probably love to be curled up on his knee or sitting at his feet on a blanket with a wee chew toy. Lockdown would be perfect to spend bonding time with the puppy and get him into a routine. Crates are just for overnight use and to use for short periods during the day if you's were going out

FruitPastillesaregood · 07/06/2020 12:43

This is no way to treat a dog, never mind a puppy. Please tell him to rehome the puppy through a rescue or take it back to the breeder, or he will have to move out. I wouldn’t want to be with him after this anyway. A man child on his PlayStation whilst a helpless animal is desperate and miserable with no company or attention. How can you love this man?

OoohTheStatsDontLie · 07/06/2020 12:44

I am no expert on puppies but even I know they need interaction, love, stimulation, rest and training. I think dogs who dont get this end up stressed and this can lead to bad behaviours and aggression. I think they are meant to be like children- you need to put a lot of hard work in consistently to get good results.

Why did he get a puppy if he can't be bothered to spend any time on it? He is treating it like an old adult dog. Have you asked him why he is fucking about on the playstation when his puppy needs him? What's his long term plan when he returns to work? Why have neither of you googled the basics of puppy care? I realise you didnt agree to getting it but now it lives with you, you are a bit complicit if you are just watching him neglect it and not doing anything.

Also like a PP said are your kids not wanting to / not allowed to play with it? I would have thought that would be a good short term solution to bored kids and bored pup, to let them play together

LovingLola · 07/06/2020 12:44

How old are your children?

Dragongirl10 · 07/06/2020 12:46

Op you are so right, he should NEVER have got a puppy unless he could spend most of the time interacting with it,
you are sensible and kind and know that this is a horrible situation for this pup.

Please get the poor dog rehomed into a home that has time for it.

Think very carefully if you want to go ahead with marrying this idiot...
Can you imagine how this lack of empathy and responsibility will be if you have children...?

Well done for stepping up for this puppy.

LovingLola · 07/06/2020 12:48

Count your lucky stars that this is a puppy and not a baby !! You do realise that if you have a baby you will end up doing everything? His PlayStation will always be his priority.

Lucywilde · 07/06/2020 12:52

His attitude would make me hugely consider whether I’d want to marry him.

PinkiOcelot · 07/06/2020 12:52

I haven’t got a clue about dogs or puppies. Never ever had a dog, but even I know that that is not how you look after a puppy. He needs constant interaction and socialising. Bless him. He must be so unhappy.
Your boyfriend sounds like a dick head by the way.

Jokie · 07/06/2020 12:56

Your fiance needs to step up for that poor pup. I appreciate the difficulty for you but I think you need to tell him his fortune:

  1. puppies should never be walked that long
  2. they need to be entertained, trained and cared for. Not shut away
  3. the puppy is his priority. No playstation until the puppy is fully sorted and taken care of
WoollyMammouth · 07/06/2020 12:56

This is terrible OP!

Your DP is a lazy arse who can’t be bothered to look after a puppy he chose to have. This is your future, if you chose it to be. The poor pup, this is neglect.

You are going to end up with an untrained, unmanageable dog who won’t be able to be rehomed at this rate.

I would read him the bloody riot act.

Original poster
Puppyproblem123 · 07/06/2020 12:58

The thing is, DP is great in lots of ways and not a selfish arse. He cooks all the dinners every night, looks after DC, plays with DC and puts them to bed, looks after them often so I can have a break. He works in a very high pressured career so I don't mind him playing playstation on the weekends or the evenings.

I've just spoken to him and he reckons that the puppy needs to get used to being on it's own for when we go back to work and need to leave it. He said the puppy isn't destroying things or being destructive which would indicate he is unhappy, but if I am really concerned we can take it to his aunt and uncle's home.

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 07/06/2020 12:59

What is the plan for when he’s back at work?

midnightstar66 · 07/06/2020 13:00

What kind of dog is it OP and how old? that amount of walking is never ok for any pup but depending on the breed could be causing severe and permanent - not to mention costly -damage. Lots of things to address here, not just the puppy it seems.

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