Puppy being left alone the majority of the day...

[Puppyproblem123]

My fiancé and I don't live together, and at the beginning of the lockdown (before it was announced) he decided to get a puppy. We are planning to buy a house together. I have a cat and 2 DC. When lockdown was announced he came to live with us, bringing along the puppy. Puppy is now 5 months old.

I am very concerned about the puppy as it gets very little interaction throughout the day and I have no experience with dogs, only my cat. DP gets up in the morning to walk the puppy, then we walk him again in the mid-afternoon around 4pm. We are both working from home and I am also juggling the 2 DC, so the puppy is left on its own for hours in the conservatory with access to the garden. For example, this morning DP took the puppy for a walk (7am - 9am) and the puppy has been on its own since. DP has been playing playstation and I have been working, the puppy has been barking and crying. Occasionally DP will go in when the puppy is barking and put him in the crate so he can go back to playing playstation. It seems cruel to me. I am concerned that the puppy will end up with issues or badly socialised. I have never had dogs before so I don't know if this is normal or how you are supposed to care for a puppy.

I never agreed to this puppy, and I cannot have the puppy running free roam in the house whilst juggling the 2 DC, working, trying to maintain an orderly home and with my cat who doesn't like the puppy and constantly hisses or tries to attack the dog. Hence why the puppy is contained to the conservatory with access to the garden.

Never ask for advice about dogs on MN OP - people lose their minds

Because the Op's partner is being neglectful, cruel and irresponsible. He clearly took on a puppy on a whim without doing any proper research into the amount of work that needs to go into raising a puppy.

And if he did do the research, well that makes it even worse that he is aware how much attention and guidance puppies need and he is still ignoring the poor thing and locking them away.

Cruel.

Never ask for advice about dogs on MN OP - people lose their minds

Yeah - how dare people get upset about animal neglect?

Except she's not doing anything @4Smalls - she knows her stupid boyfriend is neglecting the puppy but not so bothered that she's actually doing anything about it, other than post on here.

And marrying a man who is an animal abuser, particularly when you have children and pets, is really silly.

Say yes to him taking the puppy to the other relatives. He's being cruel to the poor puppy. I wouldn't marry a man who would treat an animal like this.

@VetOnCall

The puppy needs to be responsibly rehomed - neither your 'D'P nor you either want to or can provide appropriate care for him/her. The way they are being treated right now is cruelty, and while you didn't buy the pup yourself, they are in your house and you are being complicit in allowing the mistreatment to happen.

Puppies should not be going for hours-long walks, it's damaging to their joints, so unless the pup is actually being carried for most of the 2+ hours that needs to stop immediately. They need short walks 3-4 times per day and rest, play, training and company in between.

You absolutely cannot continue to leave the puppy shut in the conservatory for hours on end. This will not 'teach them to be left', the pup is already showing extreme distress by continually crying, and this will only get worse. This is not how dogs learn, this is how extreme psychological damage is caused. If after lockdown you will both be out at work all day, kids at school etc. then you CANNOT keep this dog. It cannot be expected to spend the majority of its life alone, closed in a conservatory, it is utterly cruel. Aside from anything else conservatories get at best uncomfortably and at worst dangerously hot.

This thread is honestly very upsetting. If you pm me I can give you some details of good rescue organisations who use foster homes and will be able to find the pup a home that can meet his/her needs. Please OP, do not let this continue.

@Puppyproblem123 are you going to do the decent thing and save that poor pup from misery by getting it rehomed?

This makes me feel physically sick for your poor puppy. I have a 2 year old dog. He’s no longer a puppy and is SO easy. We have 2 walks a day and he snoozes most of the time otherwise. He can be left at home for 4 hours if we need to go shopping. He has complete trust in me and does as he’s told. However all of this is based on a foundation of having him be a full part of our family. It took time and patience. He would, even now, be totally miserable at being locked away from the rest of us. Where I go, the dog goes! Dogs need to be with you, they are pack animals. Locking your pup in the conservatory is making him sad, scared and lonely. You will end up with a very badly adjusted dog doing this!

You will end up with a very badly adjusted dog doing this!

Exactly, and it will the the poor dog who gets labeled as 'destructive' or 'aggressive'.

Sorry for the typos!

I specialise in treating and ideally preventing separation anxiety...

First of all, isolating a social animal, failing to meet that animals need for company, interaction, training and socialisation/habituation is NOT how to prevent separation anxiety, actually it's a really good way of creating a life long separation related problem, or several.

Whether you agreed to a puppy or not, the puppy is now here and if you continue to let this happen you are at best, enabling the neglect/abuse.

Dogs are social animals who evolved to spend time with humans, that is why they are not wolves.

Bring the puppy into the main house, give him beds, soft crates and use gates to control where he goes so he isn't simply running loose round the house unsupervised.

The first step to teaching a puppy to cope with being alone is in fact to NOT leave the puppy alone, but let the puppy be with you, whilst you teach them, via a variety of games and training, to be confident, secure and independent. THEN you gradually build up the time they can be separated from you, and then actually alone.

Confident, secure, happy puppies can be taught practically anything, but puppies who are stressed, distressed, anxious, will really struggle and will be predisposed to struggle with stress later on in life too, so this needs to stop NOW.

Both our neighbours across the road bought their house, then a puppy & fucked off to work all day.

They barked all day long till they learnt no one was coming .

He needs to research his dog training more than this.

Please get him to hand over the puppy for rehoming- poor thing- they need company- socialisation- two hour walks for a 5 month old puppy? Way too much and playing on a PlayStation is more important than an animal’s needs? Sorry but regime puppy and then your boyfriend

"DP has been playing playstation and I have been working, the puppy has been barking and crying. Occasionally DP will go in when the puppy is barking and put him in the crate so he can go back to playing playstation."
If he's so enamoured by his playstation, why did he get a puppy? I am gobsmacked by his cruelty to a sentient creature. I would be stepping back from this excuse of a man, he is showing you who he is and he is not a good person.

The puppy has needs that he has no intention of meeting ("he reckons that the puppy needs to get used to being on it's own for when we go back to work and need to leave it"). The only kind thing to do is to insist he rehome this poor animal with people who will meet its needs, since he has no intention of EVER doing so .

Cruel. Find that poor creature a better home where it will actually be loved.

Aaaargh!!!!! YOU PEOPLE MAKE ME SO ANGRY - DO NOT GET A DOG IF YOU ARE NOT PREPARED TO TREAT IT PROPERLY. GET THE POOR THING REHOMED.

This is an upsetting thread. OP, I hope you have taken on board the message that this poor puppy needs rehomed ASAP.

I also hope that reading the comments here have made you take a look at your partner in a new light. He is not a responsible or kind individual, to be foolish enough to take on a puppy without realising what it entails and cruel enough to lock away a crying puppy rather than show it any compassion, because of his bloody PlayStation taking priority 🤯 You say he works hard so needs a break. Well, plenty of people have demanding jobs but that is not an excuse for neglecting another living thing. It is a massive red flag for an adult to be so selfish and cruel to something utterly dependent on it. I hope you can see that.