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Original poster

Puppy being left alone the majority of the day...

115 replies

Puppyproblem123 · 07/06/2020 12:25

My fiancé and I don't live together, and at the beginning of the lockdown (before it was announced) he decided to get a puppy. We are planning to buy a house together. I have a cat and 2 DC. When lockdown was announced he came to live with us, bringing along the puppy. Puppy is now 5 months old.

I am very concerned about the puppy as it gets very little interaction throughout the day and I have no experience with dogs, only my cat. DP gets up in the morning to walk the puppy, then we walk him again in the mid-afternoon around 4pm. We are both working from home and I am also juggling the 2 DC, so the puppy is left on its own for hours in the conservatory with access to the garden. For example, this morning DP took the puppy for a walk (7am - 9am) and the puppy has been on its own since. DP has been playing playstation and I have been working, the puppy has been barking and crying. Occasionally DP will go in when the puppy is barking and put him in the crate so he can go back to playing playstation. It seems cruel to me. I am concerned that the puppy will end up with issues or badly socialised. I have never had dogs before so I don't know if this is normal or how you are supposed to care for a puppy.

I never agreed to this puppy, and I cannot have the puppy running free roam in the house whilst juggling the 2 DC, working, trying to maintain an orderly home and with my cat who doesn't like the puppy and constantly hisses or tries to attack the dog. Hence why the puppy is contained to the conservatory with access to the garden.

OP posts:
WoollyMammouth · 07/06/2020 13:00

Your DP is a twat, sorry.

Why did he get a pup only to ignore it. He is wrong. Puppies need interaction and play, the poor thing. Give it someone who actually cares.

MrsTWH · 07/06/2020 13:01

This is so awful, OP.

A puppy needs socialisation, training, love and interaction. They are part of the family and shouldn’t be shut away in isolation all day.

2 hour walks are far too long - 5 mins per months of age I’ve read is the recommended walk time for a developing puppy. It’s poor joints!! Why has he not even looked up the basics? Why is he locking the poor thing in a crate all day when he is home?
Why aren’t your kids allowed to play with the puppy?

YANBU unreasonable to be concerned - PLEASE for the sake of the puppy, rehome him today. And then, I’d ditch the crap fiancé. This would be a dealbreaker for me - who wants to marry someone this cruel, thoughtless and lazy?!

LovingLola · 07/06/2020 13:01

I've just spoken to him and he reckons that the puppy needs to get used to being on it's own for when we go back to work and need to leave it.

🙄

dontdisturbmenow · 07/06/2020 13:02

You do realise that if you have a baby you will end up doing everything?
Sadly totally agree with this. It looks like he saw the puppy as a toy but has no interestrst in commiting to its needs. Playing playstation and leaving the puppy away when it had no interaction during the day shows where his priorities lay. He'll be exactly the same with a baby.

midnightstar66 · 07/06/2020 13:02

The puppy also does not need to get used to being on its own by just being abandoned. Again the age is relevant but it's a slow and gradual process starting with just seconds and building up over time so a dog is happy to be left. Also if you are both out all day you'll need a dog walker. He can't expect to host go and leave it for 8 hours. If it's not destructive yet, it will become so

dontdisturbmenow · 07/06/2020 13:04

So he plans on leaving a puppy all day alone 5 days a week? That's not on at all. What an ass.

Please rehome that puppy whilst he still has a chance to be raised by loving people who doesn't treat it like a toy to play with a few minutes a day.

MrsTWH · 07/06/2020 13:05

You simply cannot just leave a dog shut up for 8 hours a day - if you are all going to be out of the house all day when you go back to work/school then you shouldn’t have a dog! Or you need to be willing to pay for doggy day care and dog walkers.

Also, this is NOT the way you adjust a dog to being left alone for short periods of time. This is animal cruelty.

Littlemeadow123 · 07/06/2020 13:07

That is awful. Puppies are not toys that can be picked up and played with for an hour or two and then just put in a crate and left. They need love and attention. They are absolutely brilliant but they are also time consuming and hard work. Your DP should never have got one if he couldn't be arsed to put the effort in. Dogs are not accessories.

diddl · 07/06/2020 13:08

I couldn't be with someone who treats a puppy so badly.

Christ, I've done more for a dog that isn't mine when the care for it fell through the day before they were due to go away!

2hr walk for a 5month puppy??!!

Then left on it's own even though he is in the house.

He's either completely clueless or heartless or both!

Floralnomad · 07/06/2020 13:10

The OP says she never agreed but she has condoned it by allowing him to move in with this puppy , if she didn’t agree she should have told him that he couldn’t bring it into her house in the first place .

BurMaMa2 · 07/06/2020 13:17

Your fiancé is a selfish, nasty man. How dare he buy a puppy "because he had one who died when he was young" and without discussing it with you, and taking your existing pets' needs into consideration? I have a previously traumatised cat, who took 3 years to come and sit next to me. I would love to have another dog, but it would jeopardise the cat's continued stability and happiness. Are the extended family any more dog-savvy than him? Dog rescues aren't taking any dog at the moment and once the CV19 lockdown puppy buyers go back to work and/or look for work, many of these unfortunate animals will end up on Pets4homes or Google and be bought for dog-fighting bait. How much did puppy cost? Was it from a Kennel Club accredited breeder or an unscrupulous backyard puppy farmer. Perhaps have a rethink about planning to buy a house together? Or get rid of him now.

Pugsrus · 07/06/2020 13:17

Wtf
Does not let you off the hook saying it’s not yours
You agreed to it moving in ,therefore you are responsible.
Not responsible?. Kick out dp and puppy
.how is this in anyway fair on the dog

mencken · 07/06/2020 13:18

I feel sorry for your neighbours with all the barking and whining there will be when you start leaving the dog for hours on end.

and yes, saddo gamer who prioritises shoot-em-ups over looking after the demanding animal he decided to buy. I hope the sex is good because I can't see many other charms...

Consty · 07/06/2020 13:18

I'm sorry but you're just as bad. You act like a saviour because you get the poor thing out 30 mins a day?!

I'd be locking the conservatory and handing the puppy to DP everytime he leaves it alone.

This is not acceptable. Stepnup and look after the dog or contact a breed rescue!

When you go back to work you CANNOT leave it alone. Is he really leaving this poor baby dog alone all day IN PREPARATION for a life of loneliness whilst he works?!

This is sick!

PennyInMyPocket · 07/06/2020 13:18

@Hoppinggreen

I’ve only read as far as this post.

You have said everything I was about to say.

Why do people get a puppy and ignore it? A dog should be part of your family not left on its own FFS! 🤬

Two hours walk for a 5 month old pup? Absolutely clueless! It is cases like this where I have to admit the dog will be better off rehomed with a family who wants it and who has some idea about what a dog needs!

Pretenditsaplan · 07/06/2020 13:19

"I've just spoken to him and he reckons that the puppy needs to get used to being on it's own for when we go back to work and need to leave it. He said the puppy isn't destroying things or being destructive which would indicate he is unhappy, but if I am really concerned we can take it to his aunt and uncle's home."

The poor puppy has nothimg to destroy! He gets 1 2 hour walk, half an hour with you, an afternoon walk and maybe calm sitting with you for what an hour or 2 at night. So thats interaction for what possibly 6 hours out of 24? So thats 18 hours a day in isolation. Thats isnt a caring and loving home. And itll only get worse after lockdown. Rehome the puppy. Dont be one of those households that puts the idea of having a dog over the actual real life fucking dog

pilates · 07/06/2020 13:26

Send the puppy to his family (if they can attend to his needs) otherwise rehome. It’s heartbreaking to read these stories 😔

Astella22 · 07/06/2020 13:27

Please please rehome this wee pup. How can he be so callous as to listen to the poor baby cry while playing his playstation. A puppy needs socialisation how can it even learn anything by being left all alone, what worse it’s not like it needs to be alone ye are all at home.

HappyHammy · 07/06/2020 13:27

A puppy does not learn to be abandoned. Rescue centres insist owners are not away from home for more than 4 hours a day. Whining crying and barking are signs of distress. What do you think will hapoen when you're both at work. Pup will be shoved in the crate. If it gets out it will run riot. Pee and poop. Could attack the cat. Destroy the house. Seriously it would be happier somewhere else.

Pugsrus · 07/06/2020 13:29

It takes no effort at all to look up what a puppy needs on line
You do not get out of the responsibility,by claiming ignorance.
It’s in our house ,you are responsible.
Why did you move in such a waste of space ,did your kids get a say in the man child moving in ?
You should both be ashamed ,and your setting a bad example to your children,shame on you op

Figgygal · 07/06/2020 13:30

He’s being selfish and cruel to the dog
And completely dismissing your concerns

A grown man neglecting an animal he’s gone and got whilst playing computer games Is disgusting
Red flag!!!

Pugsrus · 07/06/2020 13:31

Your house ,not our

Kokeshi123 · 07/06/2020 13:32

It sounds like your partner's lifestyle is not compatible with having a dog and that you did not want the dog in the first place. The puppy needs to go back. The number of families I know where the bloke insisted on getting a dog and the woman is the one who now takes care of it....

Tell him to join the Cinnamon Trust if he likes dogs. Though I am not sure he does like dogs much, from the sound of it.

PennyInMyPocket · 07/06/2020 13:33

OP why is the dog not allowed to be in the living room with his family?

RandomMess · 07/06/2020 13:38

TBH I would let the dog and cats share the house, the cat will establish itself as boss and puppy will steer clear.

I just don't see the point of you having a dog if it doesn't get to spend time with the humans in it's family Confused