To be a bit offended

[Moonskylove]

I will be the first to admit that I spend a lot of time in my PJs and dressing gown. On a morning because I’m furloughed I wait until my husband and kids are showered and dressed before I jump in the shower so yes I’m often sorting washing out and changing beds before I get dressed. I also change straight after evening meal if not going out as following surgery for breast cancer I find wearing a bra excruciating. So think if I’m taking my bra off I may as well get changed altogether. The other day the ice cream van came and I sent the kids out with some money. I stood on the doorstep in case they needed more. A neighbour then said “do you ever get dressed?” I know he was only joking but I found it a bit rude of him. Am I being a bit sensitive?

I would be a bit offended (I do exactly the same thing as you) but I would also be someone to say that kind of thing.... so you really have me thinking OP 🤣

A little bit over sensitive yes.

I think you're being a bit sensitive.
They probably thought you'd find it funny.
I haven't worn a bra in weeks now (so freeing!) and I always joke about my "day pjs" ie leggings and a t-shirt.

your clothles, your choice but it's nothing offensive.

I only wear proper clothes if I’m leaving the house. Pjs all the time otherwise. If my neighbour had said this to me, I’d have laughed because it would be a pretty accurate observation

Maybe it’s because he didn’t know the circumstances of why I change so early but as I don’t know him well I found it a bit off what he said.

I hate wearing 'proper' clothes! I am often in a charcoal grey dressing gown - I tell my neighbours it's my 'sack'!!!
They don't care and neither do I!!!
I like comfort.

But it looks like you don't, it was an observation. Bit rude to say it but if it was my neighbour I couldn't be offended by the observation because he'd be right!

How did he say it? Was it meant as a joke?

After reading a few posts like this, I think I'm not easily offended at all!

I have other neighbours who don’t care if I’m in my PJs And putting my bin out or whatever. Just felt who is he to comment on what I wear on my own doorstep.

Just thought...why are you wearing a bra in the day in the house anyway?

Next time he pipes up, say ‘recovering from cancer means I need to be comfortable and rest a lot.’ That should shut him up.

You should have just looked confused and said ‘but I am dressed’.

Because (for some strange reason) it feel ms uncomfortable and weird to Not wear one with clothes but by the time the evening comes the bra digs into my hard tissue from the surgery and radiotherapy so it gets to evening and I need to take it off as it leaves my skin red raw. It also means it’s calmed down by the time I get to bed.

I did say because of the cancer but he didn’t say oh sorry didn’t mean anything by it (which is what I would have said in that situation)

Yes rude
What time was it? He may have just been surprised by the time and foot in mouth scenario

@GenevaL

Next time he pipes up, say ‘recovering from cancer means I need to be comfortable and rest a lot.’ That should shut him up.

Moonskylove

I did say because of the cancer but he didn’t say oh sorry didn’t mean anything by it (which is what I would have said in that situation)

If you’ve just had surgery for BC op you will be very sensitive for quite some time. All I can say is that your neighbour had better watch out when or if you start treatment, I could beat anyone in an argument after that. All the best to you!

I think you're being over sensitive. I think a lot of us are spending a lot more time than usual in our pjs. Try & take it the way it was meant 😊

I wouldn't put the bins out in pyjamas. Ever.
You can get non wired, soft cup, sports etc type bras which you may find more comfortable.
I wouldn't be offended by what was said though.

@Moonskylove

I did say because of the cancer but he didn’t say oh sorry didn’t mean anything by it (which is what I would have said in that situation)

So he said "Don't you ever get dressed?"

And you replied "No, because of the cancer"?

I expect he felt too awkward to apologise, probably.

I'd try not to worry about it. It's no-one else's business what you choose to wear.

I was going to vote YABU but changed my mind because of the breast cancer issue.

@raspberryk

I wouldn't put the bins out in pyjamas. Ever. You can get non wired, soft cup, sports etc type bras which you may find more comfortable. I wouldn't be offended by what was said though.

They are soft non wired. The surgery was years ago but my surgeon said I would suffer pain for the rest of my life. It’s not agony all the time but by the time I get to 7 I need to get changed.

I explained that as I had surgery And radiotherapy for breast cancer I suffer pain and need to take my bra off by evening due to pain. Probably embarrassed him with TMI but I felt that I had to justify myself.

Cheeky rude fucker needs to stop trying to police women's appearances.

Chuck out the bras OP. Why should you be uncomfortable for hours every day? Get some comfy tank tops or camis or whatever they're called.

I wear a bra about as often as I wear makeup, I,e. only for Going Out.