To be a bit offended

[Moonskylove]

I will be the first to admit that I spend a lot of time in my PJs and dressing gown. On a morning because I’m furloughed I wait until my husband and kids are showered and dressed before I jump in the shower so yes I’m often sorting washing out and changing beds before I get dressed. I also change straight after evening meal if not going out as following surgery for breast cancer I find wearing a bra excruciating. So think if I’m taking my bra off I may as well get changed altogether. The other day the ice cream van came and I sent the kids out with some money. I stood on the doorstep in case they needed more. A neighbour then said “do you ever get dressed?” I know he was only joking but I found it a bit rude of him. Am I being a bit sensitive?

I think it depends on how he behaves in the future then. You'll soon find out if he is an idiot.

@raspberryk only the scagheads in my area go out in their dressing gown/pj's

I beg your pardon?!? So if I'm ill on the sofa with my MS and I hear the bin men arrive and run out in my dressing gown then that makes me a 'scaghead' (whatever the hell that is!?🤣) does it? So I'm supposed to leave my rubbish uncollected as I didn't have time to get dressed before nun can left? Really!?!?!? 😳🤣🤣

@raspberryk only the scagheads in my area go out in their dressing gown/pj's

I beg your pardon?!? So if I'm ill on the sofa with my MS and I hear the bun men arrive and run out in my dressing gown then that makes me a 'scaghead' (whatever the hell that is!?🤣) does it? So I'm supposed to leave my rubbish uncollected as I didn't have time to get dressed before nun can left? Really!?!?!? 😳🤣🤣

@Dougalthesyrianhamster a drug addict - usually heroin

@raspberryk. What a rude comment. OP wasn't "going out", just standing on her door step.

My neighbours did a massive cheer when I got dressed for the sun last week. I am LOVING lockdown in jammies. In fact she friend once said he didn't recognise me in the pub one night with clothes on

dh friend* not she friend

My husband got sick of me wearing evenings pjs so I swapped to yoga pants and snuggly hoodie.

I wear crop tops instead of bras. M & s do soft ones. I love mine. Maybe buy some jogging bottoms and shirts to wear around the house, so you're comfortable and not in PJs.

only the scagheads in my area go out in their dressing gown/pj's

Where do I start with this
A) the op wasn't out, she was on her doorstep
B) if the "scag heads" go out without makeup does that mean you must wear make up at all times regardles of what makes you comfortable?
C) maybe where the OP lives people don't know how scag heads dress.

Can't believe the number of people telling OP to buy joggers and other bras. She should be able to wear what she wants! Some random bloke doesn't get to tell her what to wear.

OP - I’m just the same as you- do lots of housework in nightie in the am and then I must be in my nightie again after dinner in the evening/ I can only wear soft crop top- due to radiotherapy and scars and pain-I don’t give fig anymore 😂 he was probably just trying to be funny but put his foot in his mouth!

"Out" was referring to putting the bins out in the street.
I wouldn't personally even open the door fully or be on the door step in pj's or dressing gown, if I've ever had a ridiculously early parcel or I've been ill I'd probably open it partially and stand behind the door .
If I was inclined to wear pyjamas in the day regularly I'd have leggings and yoga pants/joggers, hoodie and tops that don't look like night wear.
I don't know anyone who'd stand on the doorstep at 7pm in a dressing gown.
I've seen the type standing outside near me smoking in theirs and they're the ones known for being drug users.

@raspberryk you are just being goady now.

I hope my neighbours think I'm a druggie because I quite often clap for the NHS in my dressing gown. I doubt it though. I also doubt the OPs neighbours think that my

It's a case of everyday sexism imo. Wear what you want. Prepare a sadly response for if he comments again. How annoyed you should be and how.you should respond depends on your relationship with him kn the first place I suppose. You definitely don't need to change how you dress.

@Frozenfan2019 I mentioned the bra designed for patients recovering from breast cancer to OP because she had said that she finds it painful to wear a bra. My friend who had major breast surgery seven months ago, followed by radiotherapy, said that the bra recommended by my breast cancer nurse friend really helped her and so I thought that it would be helpful to OP to know about it. I would never dream of telling somebody else what they should wear.

It's bloody rude for your male neighbour to think he's got the right to comment on what his female neighbour does or doesn't wear to her face. I suppose if you'd call him out on it he'd have said 'I was just having a laugh, love, don't take it so seriously.'

Its a bit pass-remarkable, for sure.
He sounds like a bit of a dick.

You are very polite OP. I'd have said mind your own fucking business and shut the door.

I’m with this. If I want to go out in pj’s, an elephant costume or a bikini good luck to me. People should worry about themselves and keep their noses out. If you feel disturbed by an elephant costume then fine, don’t wear one but leave others alone who do.

Apparently it’s been a thing during lockdown here to put your bins out wearing a onesie. It’s even been on tv acknowledged as a sign of ‘all being in it together’. I wouldn’t know as I don’t get out of my pj’s.

@Moonskylove

I did say because of the cancer but he didn’t say oh sorry didn’t mean anything by it (which is what I would have said in that situation)

Your situation Moonskylove is exactly why so-called harmless comments, such as 'cheer up love' are not acceptable. He doesn't know you well enough to make a teasing remark. He should have apologised when you explained the reason why. Not that you need to justify being dressed like that on your own doorstep.

I wouldn’t have been offended and from the other side I wouldn’t have ever said anything, but I do think that never getting dressed is a bit grim.

Wasn’t it Tesco’s in Newport or somewhere who banned people shopping in their pyjamas? There was a woman at the school gates a few years ago, (at pick-up time so 3 PM) wearing fleecy pyjamas with a message “I love my bed,” on them. . Sorry but that’s just cringe.

From my perspective I see getting dressed as a psychological thing. Until a year ago I was so ill with a serious heart condition for 3.5 years that there were regularly days when I didn’t have the ability to walk upstairs again to get dressed, and on some occasions didn’t even make it out of bed apart from to get DS up for school. So now for me getting dressed is part of being (on the face of it) well, (I still have a serious heart condition but at the moment things are stable.)

So if I see people who never get dressed to leave the house I do wonder firstly whether they’re ok, and secondly why they feel they don’t want to get dressed.

I do think it changes your mindset, e.g. I get dressed because it’s the daytime, but equally I had an online job interview this week, and for that I dressed in a suit because it changes the mindset I am in to being a professional. Iyswim.

This situation is exactly What mind your own business beaky was made for.

Ignore the neighbour, why be so formally clothed at home lol - I'm still working from home and often start off in My pyjamas even in teams meetings! Saying that I wear a hoodie so you couldn't tell

I had a similar, 'do you ever brush your hair?' Although to be fair, in lockdown, no I don't ! I know my didnt mean it unkindly. I've really struggled with small talk with neighbours who we have rarely seen up until now so i've probably said similarly silly things

OP,
You are not being sensitive at all.

He's a pass remarkable, rude twat.

What business is it of his to remark on what you or any other woman is wearing.

He is extremely rude.

Give him absolutely filthy looks when you see him and make him as uncomfortable as possible.

I have zero tolerance for people without any filter.

You could of course tell his wife you found his remarks about what you were wearing very pervy/creepy....that should wipe the smile off his face and shut him up!😁

Get some nice loungewear or decent tracksuits .. then no one will no you are in comfies!!