You're white you cannot experience racism 3

[PatricksRum]

And it continues. Thank you for those black people who took the time to share their stories once again.

@Whataloadofshite @BeforeIPutOnMyMakeup @CandyLeBonBon @WokeUpSmeltTheCoffee
Thank you all.

Forgive me for my ignorance but I can't say I feel privileged to be white at all.
I forgive you. You are. Please listen until you understand you are privileged.

*A few months ago DH was in Tesco and ahead of him In the queue were an Indian couple ( older but not elderly). The checkout assistant proceeded to tut, eye roll and be very blunt and rude to them. She kept making eye contact with my DH as if he was also frustrated by their presence- which he was not

DH pulled her up on it quite loudly and and without mincing his words told her she should be ashamed of herself. He then paid and approached the couple in the carpark to apologise and they told him it's just another day.

We reported the staff member to Tesco.

Really proud of DH for standing up against her*

This is the issue. BAME are so used to it, it's sadenning.
Well done to DH for challenging it. This is what we(BLM) need now too

But obviously that's not the same as saying that your life has been better than every black person's life.

This is very valid in response to a lot of posters response

Dh still remembers when he was on a train and some teenagers in the seats down and across from him were whispering racist names about him and making noises and pretending to speak with a generic racist “accent” if that makes sense. The (white) man sitting opposite dh caught his eye then turned around and told the teenagers to shut the fuck up. It helped that he was really big, but dh was so grateful. Still angry and humiliated but he at least felt less alone.

This is what we need. This is my point

If you are white then you are privileged, I'm not attacking you for it but instead asking you to use your privilege to help those of us who aren't.

*Had an interesting discussion about the resistance of Martin Luther King vs that of Malcolm X and the black panthers. Can people who are oppressed always be expected to be polite and reasonable?
Is a more aggressive stance sometimes the only way to force change?

I thought of the OP.*

Thank you Coffee.
No way is the right way. We will exhaust every avenue to be heard.

The problem is though where does that end?
When we stop getting murdered by you.*

One group feels justified in using violence to force change, then another group responds with violence, and on and on it goes.*
You have totally missed the point where pp mentioned MLK.
One was peaceful, one was violent.
Years on we are still being killed.
You keep battering on about my aggression and how I should speak. That doesn't work either. IANU to explore this tactic.

However, OP you have said again and again that it is not a black persons job to educate a white person, however by this stance it would mean that everything that I have read, watched and listened too I should not have done.
No, it isn't a stance. This is where the confusion comes in.
Just because it isn't our duty doesn't mean we aren't educating you. Look at the thread. It isn't my duty but I've exhausted myself trying.

We need black people to speak out, we need them to explain their experiences as my white privilege means I haven't been exposed to the things that I have learnt about. If black people hadn't taken the time and effort to explain over the last few days I wouldn't have been able to educate myself. If every black person adopted the attitude of its not my job then people will never be able to understand especially if they grew up in the 'bubble' that keeps being mentioned.
I for one are appalled by what I've read etc, I am appalled by what has happened and I stand with you OP but I did need to be educated and I am grateful to the black people who have taken the time to educate and create resources.
I have grown up sheltered and I am the first to admit that I do need to be educated otherwise I just wouldn't know.
I hope this makes sense...
I am trying. I hope you can see I am trying to educate, to explain although it isn't my duty.
Thank you for reading/ listening/ watching and willing to accept you're privilege.

I see OP has woken up full of the joys of spring this morning.🙄

@Jiggy16 Thank you for for taking the time to post. Thank you for listening. I feel heard, if only by a few.

I have lived in the USA, the Caribbean, and New Zealand and spent time in the Middle East. I have blonde hair and blue eyes and have experienced racial discrimination everywhere.
Thankfully nothing serious but have even been picked up by police in Chicago because I was white in a "black" area.
The idea that just because you're pale skinned you don't experience racism is nonsense.
Racial prejudice, yes.
It's sad that you've come onto the 3rd thread and your response is only to talk about yourself

*There definitely is an expectation of politeness which - given the circumstances - is absurd.

People yell "Stop killing us" and everyone focuses on the fact that they didn't say please.

OP, like many people, is angry and rightfully so. Whataboutry doesn't help anything.

Just to add as an Irish woman whose family has been subject to awful sectarianism and prejudice before, during, and after the troubles, I absolutely hate it when we are thrown in these discussions.

We can have our own conversations about injustice, separately. This is about racism. It's different. That doesn't take away from any suffering that has happened to Irish people.*

Great post. It's good to hear from someone that has been mentioned in the whataboutery.

Why are people being sneered at and made to apologise for their “white privelege”?
Literally no one has asked anyone to apologise for being white. No one.

Why can’t we just work hand in hand to end this? Side by side.
Been there, done that.
I can't answer why we're still being killed by white people. I can't answer why it still hasn't ended.

*But first you have to check your privilege

I routinely ignore anyone who uses this phrase.*

Whys that? Do you feel uncomfortable?

'Check your priveledge' is as meaningless as 'check your height'.
Yup, it's still there, and there ain't much I can do about it.

Not true. You can use your privilege to help those of us who aren't. This is the entire point.

I see OP has woken up full of the joys of spring this morning.🙄
I have, thank you. Had a great sleep, great breakfast, some lovely posts to wake up too.

Ha, can you imagine? You're at the supermarket and you ask a much taller woman to reach a box of cereal for you. She looks at you, sneers and says 'hang on a minute, you're short - I appreciate you have struggles but I do too, you don't have to duck down under doors to get out of buildings!!'

Then she storms off.

You still never got your cereal.

Whys that? Do you feel uncomfortable?

Not one bit . I already explained. Have you not read all the posts?

@PatricksRum just want to say, I hear you too.

Black people are blamed for the way that we are treated by those above us

Someone criticised your posting style, which has been confusing at times, and it's because you are black? AIBU is a hotbed of criticism. No one gets a free pass on here I am afraid.

Someone criticised your posting style, which has been confusing at times, and it's because you are black? AIBU is a hotbed of criticism. No one gets a free pass on here I am afraid.
Kindly point to where I mentioned this was only on MN.

Ygritte, your posting style also has a lot to be desired.

I think you should look at your own posts before you criticise OP.

Nobody is perfect!

*Because when black people tell white people what the issue is, they tell us we are wrong. Or they are offended that chunks of life are easier for them or set up in their favour and that we have observed that. It must be very difficult to hear that parts of life are easier for you and it’s natural to went to defend yourself or say “hey but xyz bad things happened to me, how can I have privilege?”
But unfortunately we have been too patient and understanding about the discomfort of those who benefit from black people being seen as lesser, for too long.

I’d love to fight racism side by side but when people who tell us that we are completely wrong about racism, power and white privilege, it becomes pretty difficult.*

Quite right.

@PatricksRum

You should be aware that the poster you are quoting in your post at 6:36 is black. This is Dreep that you've been so insulting to.

When she says 'our', my understanding is she is talking about the fact that you don't get to speak for all the black community, of which she is one.

It's disgraceful you can't even do other posters the courtesy of understanding their situation.

I don't like sanctimonious little catch phrases. I think it's glib and doesn't actually mean anything. It's a sound bite. I'll consider how I am advantaged when required to and have done all my life, but I just find that the kind of person who uses that phrase is more excited about getting to use it than in the nuance and depth that these discussions require.
When else would it be required more than when saving black people's lives?