I don't think I am BU with my view on Black Lives Matter?

[doglover65]

I am an active social media user and since the BLM movement gained more momentum I began posting more and only about this.

I will preface this by saying I am mixed race - my mum is white British, my dad was born in Kenya although my heritage is mixed that side, not African. My dad came to the UK (granted citizenship following my Grandad's service in the RAF) and was raised British despite his dark skin - he has no cultural aspects beyond a few specific dishes he can cook relating to his heritage. He was encouraged to fit in and therefore different cultures were discouraged to protect him. I am completely British in every way I act. I suppose for me, growing up, I have been very confused.

I remember the day I realised I wasn't white, I was sat in front of my mirror in my bedroom and was so upset - I hated my dad for it. I have only suffered a small amount of obvious abuse such as being name called a 'paki' but I also represent the current 'ideal' look - I am olive skinned, I have dark British textured hair, I speak very Southern British, and I tan easily. So there's always been a conflict, in some ways people idealise my skin colour but I have also felt a disassociation with my culture. I've witnessed my dad being called the 'n' word in our Home Counties town. I've realised people did treat me differently growing up.

So when I educated myself more on BLM over the past few years - I felt so upset. Whilst I cannot truly understand what black people have gone through, I have still experienced racism in the UK and always been dismissed when I spoke up.

Now that this movement has gained voice I made a statement on social media that silence is a form of compliance - I truly believe this. I suppose I have a few reasons and there are caveats:

• my friends who are also active on social media - who must be to have seen me post my point about silence - were happy to post donation links and information on Run 5, Donate 5, Nominate 5 for NHS.

• they are happy to share stories /posts about bikinis, competitions, make up etc.

• they often send funny memes

• why would you stay quiet? if you're reading things, why not share how useful they are for others, or at least the donation link.

This has caused an issue with two people (or those who have been vocal) both white and extremely privileged (parents own million pound houses, bought them their first house). The first is the fiance of my best friend - he is an absolutely terrible person regardless (if she posted on here people would tell her to run. he wants to come on my hen do to monitor her!) so I just responded reasonably and we agreed to disagree.

The second was my best friend. I said to her why I felt the way I do and she said she just disagrees. We left it as I didn't want to argue. But when I shared another BLM post she sent me the rolling eyes emoji, I thought this was just rude now. She said she doesn't agree with the post.

Now AIBU to feel the way I do? I am so confused now about my friendship.

I took great pleasure in unfriending my MIL and blocking her in all aspects of mine and my children’s lives because of her racist propaganda and diatribes. It caused a bit of tension with DH, but I explained that he married me knowing that anti-racism was my mantra and we had agreed that that was how our kids would be raised. She has adopted a new racist ideology since remarrying and it’s not part of our lives, and neither is she.

Justilou1- it was rude of your friends to eye roll you in public, they could keep that thought to themselves. But I imagine( although clearly I don’t know) that what you shared was one of the causes quite clear to some very right wingers hearts. And some of these images are being shared at the moment to implicitly state that they don’t agree with the BLM movement.

The Black Lives Matter movement espouses Critical Race Theory. It is a theory that relies on victimisation of black people at the hands of white supremacists who deliberately built structures to exclude and oppress specifically black people. Not all black people buy into the narrative. The theory itself is problematic because it relies on story telling and narrative rather than analysis of the law, statistics etc. It it also difficult to assign any behavioural responsibility to those people who are oppressed. Perhaps your friend isn't a subscriber to the narrative that is being told. That does NOT mean she is racist.

My DS's father is black. Him and his brother disagree about structural racism.

The thing I find most difficult about the BLM movement is the policing of the narrative, if you disagree with, or question, any aspect of it you are immediately called a racist, or sent off to study black history.

I would have thought that all women would understand why we need men on board to get rid of everyday sexism and the rape culture. Equate that with why everyone of all heritage and religion need to be on board to remove bigotry. So white people need to get behind 'black lives matter'.

Personally I've never understood how men stay silent when the courts brand certain behaviour as natural and justified, to men, if it isn't. On the same tack, being white doesn't mean that you are a racist, so we should all be raging.

That person isn't your friend. I'm white, but I've suffered racism because I have a black half sibling. It's lost me many friends, who in all other ways have been decent people. But it is other people's silence that perpetuates racism, so it's thought of as ok and people aren't forced to question themselves.

So white people need to get behind 'black lives matter'

They don't. Not if they don't agree with the narrative. But they can still be anti-racist and call out racism when they see it.

This is a poem about staying silent. I feel it’s a very powerful poem yet easy to understand.

If your bf is causing you this much discomfort during your time of need, get rid of her. She may not fully understand, which is fine, but to purposely undermine what you are sharing is horrible. Good friends should be listening and learning especially if they're not black

Post what you like on SM but YABU to tell other people what to post.

Love this woman. Self respecting, insightful and honest.

She's not fallen for the lies.

Of course you're being unreasonable. Nobody should be forced to acquiesce in "taking a knee" to anti-white racists.

I think it was insulting and inappropriate for your friend to post the rolling eyes emoji at your post. But other than that I cannot agree with you.

I am not currently on social media but I have had a Facebook account, I have never used it to post my opinion on anything, I think the closest I came to a political statement was when I posted a picture of my dog under a polling station sign at the election when dogs at polling stations was the in thing.

Social media for me is just for fun, this doesn’t make me a racist. In my real life I seek to challenge racism which whilst I can only do on a small scale, I think is more useful than me Twittering.

Jeeezus, I can't even imagine how big a twunt you'd have to be to reply to a mixed race person's BLM post with an eye roll emoji, nevermind your best friend!!

So many scumbags out there at the moment, Op - or should I say, they were always there but right now they are emboldened and unashamed of their disgusting racist views!

You are doing the right thing by raising awareness. Don't feel you've done anything wrong. Rise above it, hun.x.

Of course you're being unreasonable. Nobody should be forced to acquiesce in "taking a knee" to anti-white racists

Wowzers! you sound ignorant as FUCK!

I remember the day I realised I wasn't white

I just want to say I identify with this completely.