They are ginger get over it!

[CarrotCakeCrumbs]

I have NC for this. I am so angry at the moment, and fed up, and aware that things could be so much worse and that with everything else that is happening it really doesn't matter in the long run and it really is so petty and ridiculous. However here I am seething because some people are just pig ignorant.

My bf to his knowledge has nobody ginger in his family, infact they are all very adamant that there are no ancestors with ginger hair whatsoever. And yet our two daughters are very, very ginger (as am I). Our eldest is 4.5, our youngest is turning 1 this month. Their hair is unlikely to change. The amount of comments I have had from multiple members of my bfs family has gone beyond a joke now.

Ever since my eldest was born I have had the following comments about both children:
"She's not ginger" - in a voice that implies being ginger would be such a horrific thing to be 🙄
"Oh I think her hair is changing it isn't as red" or "she's losing her redness!" - said in a hopeful voice
"She's turning a shade of beetroot" - in a disappointed voice (also why beetroot??? There are 1000's of lovely ways to describe red hair - beetroot is not one of them 🤬)
"Red hair means crap blood" - eh no...and many more comments.

Every single time we see them, without fail, someone will make at least one comment on our childrens hair. I don't even know why it is such a shock to them - I am ginger! (They do also like to pretend that my children get absolutely none of their traits from me but that's a whole other thread). They wouldn't comment on their hair if it was blonde, or brunette!

I was bullied horrifically through school because of my hair colour, and I am determined that my girls will be proud of theirs. But I feel like I might be fighting a losing battle when certain members of their own family so clearly don't like it.

My boyfriend thinks I am over reacting and that I should just ignore it, but why should I? And why should our daughters have to ignore it? What gives people the right to comment on a hair colour that you are born with and can't bloody change! (I mean you can't change it as a child - I am well aware that adults can dye their hair as I did for years and now my hair is back to it's natural colour but destroyed beyond repair).

Am I being unreasonable to tell people to just not comment on their hair, that it is ginger and they have had almost 5 years to get used to that fact and it is not likely to change any time soon. Or just start making derogatory comments on their appearance when they make the negative comments.

Red is beautiful.

Get their father to defend them from his family's bullying.

I love red hair of all shades.

Red hair is gorgeous. My DM had it. I lost her early and was so glad to see the genes resurface in my flamehead daughter.

Teach your kids to be proud of it, OP, and don’t let people insult them.

The UK is a prejudiced lot
I should have said 'The UK is a prejudiced lot about red hair'.
Time and time again, this issue comes up. The term 'ginger' is a peculiar word used primarily in the UK to negatively describe red hair. It is never used in a complimentary way. It seems absolutely acceptable to put down red hair in the guise of 'joking around'. It is not only baffling, it is discriminatory.

You are not over reacting, far from it, and your boyfriend needs to defend his children from this bullying.

I also do not get this. Hair naturally comes in a myriad of shades. The redder tones are lovely and stand out a bit more. It's a positive to have red hair, not a negative.

OP I'd be furious. It's incomprehensible but you know people get bullied for red hair. It must be nipped in the bud. DD's bf in school had what they called strawberry blonde hair, a gorgeous pale rose gold colour. Everyone always commented on how stunning it was. Never a negative word and so she is very proud of her hair.

I'd be tempted to be petty and say that yes, the girls are so lucky to have their mum's gorgeous red hair. Hope they don't inherit the dodgy family nose/ears/walk from their father's side.

I love ginger hair. I have a touch of red, as does my husband, and our three children have varying shades of redness in their hair. I find ginger men astonishingly attractive. So there. If anyone says anything respond by saying how much you love it and encourage your children to be proud of it.

I get this so much! I have black hair my children have dark hair. MIL saw my child and commented oh she has black hair where on earth has that come from she proceeded to say it to every person she saw. ' oh isn't she a cutie have no idea where the black hair has come from though' Her next door neighbour said to her it's strange you, your husband and the boys are all so fair so how did she end up with black hair. I will admit I acted a bit ott and shouted at them both ' hmmm let me see I have black hair and as her mother having just carried her inside me for the last 9 months she obviously got her hair from me'
She still comments every single time she sees them oh their hair has gotten lighter they would look so pretty with fair hair. Gives me the rage 😂

Red hair was considered beautiful in women when I was young. Also a sign of a passionate, fiery character. I must have poured several gallons of dye over my head, through the years, trying to get natural-looking red hair. Has that opinion really changed, or are people just envious of redheads?

This rude attitude towards redheads is something I've only encountered in the uk. Why are so disappointingly many brits (or is it just English?) so rude against redheads?

Red hair means crap blood

what!

thesedays my MIL constantly commented on how DARK one of my children was (my DH is more a strawberry blonde, I have mid-brown, naturally auburn hair). Unfortunately the older children were born very very fair and the youngest stood out as DARK (said with evident disdain) and there was quite a bit of WHERE DOES HE GET THAT DARK COLOUR FROM? He didn’t even have dark hair, it was sort of sandy coloured and much lighter than mine!

Anyway. I just said each time oh I LOVE his hair colour. We laugh about it now. They’re all different shades of fair/light brown with a red tinge. It was just her complete refusal to accept my genes might have had any input .

This needs to stop. Now.

My dads family used to make comments about my weight when I was small. I hated to and I hated them. I still have huge issues over it.

What I am most angry about is that my parents didn’t stand up for me. Family unity meant more than my feelings.

I was really hoping for a ginger the gene is very strong in both my family and OH, I didn't get one lol. In saying that red hair is quite a dominant colour where I'm from and I would have loved it instead of boring brown.

It makes me so angry too OP. Tell your husband to grow a backbone and defend his daughters and you. My son is a redhead. My mum is too, and she was bullied terribly, so it was very important to me to drum into my son how beautiful his hair is and to be proud of it. He's 7 and he loves his hair colour-it is stunning. The one time we had an issue was at a family friends house. Daughter 15yo made a comment about what a shame he's ginger and started laughing. He was 1yo at the time. I was livid, I said what a shame you're fat. Her and the older teens looked at me aghast so I said oh so it's ok for her to make fun of my child for his hair colour, but I can't turn point out you're fat. It's not nice being judged by the way you look is it and I walked off. Aside from that one instance, we have only had lovely comments, often from older ladies saying how beautiful his hair is. My son is very very sensitive, so I'm dreading the teenage years when it may get harder.

My SIL has dark chestnut hair, DB fair; their kids had chestnut, blonde & 2 were red. As there are clearly red genes in my family I was deeply disappointed that none of mine had red - they all started out mousy, turned blonde as toddlers, & reverted to mainly mousy in their teens (there has been some bleach/dye action since of course).

However - DD2 has our first grandchild, who is nearly 1, and her hair is distinctly fiery, and I am thrilled!

OP, I'm sorry your BF's family are being so rude about this. Just leaving every time one of them says something offensive, & telling them you will stop them seeing your DDs at all if they keep on, would ram the message home, if he will go along with that. You definitely need to get him onside. His daughters need to know that a) red hair is fabulous & b) that he will always have their backs.

Good luck!

Does anyone know when this ridiculous negativity of red hair in the UK began? It certainly wasn't there fifty years ago when I was a child with wavy, auburn/red hair. I was mildly teased for having freckles at primary school e.g. Freckles O'Foot , who ever that character was! Lots of kids had various shades of red hair.
Old ladies used to stop us in the street when I was out with my mother who was also a redhead, saying we had beautiful hair like Rita Hayworth or Maureen O'Hara.
So where has this come from?

I used to be very ginger with massive hair. Although I was the only ginger in the village, I didn't get that much grief overall being one of the bigger kids in the year.

Sadly, other genetics have come into play and now I'm what someone helpfully described as eggshell blonde or sunburnt if the sun makes an appearance of longer than five minutes.

Seriously though, it's just hair and it's fabulous. As Tormund said in Thrones it's kissed by fire. Gingers rock. We stand out in a crowd. So there.

Also helped me to pick up on Tim Minchin's prejudice song wayyyy quicker than my friends when we saw him live.

My only gripe is when they call non gingers ginger. It's brown hair half the time. It's not difficult to spot a ginger so stop doing it.

It makes me sad that this issue seems to come up so often on here. Who are these people who comment so negatively on the characteristics of a child?

Anyway, red hair is beautiful in all its shades. I should know; I spend a fortune having my half mouse, half grey hair dyed red!

Oh I'm disappointed. I thought this was going to be about some kittens

I was born with red tight curly hair but unfortunately it’s got darker as I’ve got older ( more brown with red tones....and a few greys I’m sure ha ha!! ) but I have cousins on both my mum and dads side that has always had the most beautiful red hair and was always so jealous to the point when I was 14 tried to dye it like one of them and failed miserably lol!! I completely agree with PP’s, give them a warning to cut it out and if they don’t don’t take them the next time your “DH” go’s to visit them and don’t go again until they realise that they are bullying a child

Move to Scotland OP. Not everywhere in the UK is anti-red.

I have lots redheads in my family as does DH. Sadly no red haired kids. Maybe the next generation though, fingers crossed.

I’d seriously pull them up every time they make these comments!

I’m the opposite to you op, I have dark hair, dds dad has red, our daughter has beautiful red hair. She’s 11 now and really proud of it, it’s stunning!

Next time they give you a negative comment, give them one back!

Confront them every single time - and tell them they're being rude wankers.

For what it's worth: I've really wanted to be a redhed for as long as I can remember. I used to actually dye my hair red and was very pleased whenever I'd successfully tricked someone into assuming it was my natural colour.

I'm a natural dirty blonde - that's nice for "mousy". I'd kill for a head of luscious red locks!

Ive always admired red hair. My own was mousy brown as a girl and I hated it. In my early 20s I dyed it golden auburn and kept it that colour until I began to go grey. Its a beautiful shade of silver now. I was not a natural redhead but I believed it suited my personality so I kept it that colour. Your kids should be proud of their hair colour. I would certainly pick up anyone who commented adversely on it.