Queue argument....... who was right and who was wrong.......

[ACautionaryTale]

Socially distanced queue at the supermarket. I was number 3 in the queue, there were about 12 in total. its not a big one but not an express style either. Most people only get a basket of shopping nor a full weekly shop.

Relatively older lady joins the queue at the back. So number 13. did not look infirm or otherwise struggling. I'd say late sixties/early 70s.

Woman who was number 1 in the queue indicates to new joiner to join the queue at the front.

Several people object. Number 1 lady starts saying its only polite to the older generation,.

I politely point out that it was not her decision to make on behalf of everyone else in the queue. She did not get to decide for everyone else whether the lady could jump the queue.

I got told I had no social respect (and called a fat cunt for the privilege) and that older people should go first.

Older lady at the back looked embarrassed and pointed out she did not want to jump the queue.

Lady in position 1 left the store offing and blinding.

If everyone had to start giving their reasons for priority queuing woman number one could have easily been pushed to the back. She’d never get out as there would be always someone with a greater need. And of course she would wait gracefully for everyone else to go ahead.

I'm 71, a very fit and healthy 71 (I'm told I don't look anywhere near my age) and as such I would never expect, nor wish to be asked if I wanted to push ahead in the queue. I'm perfectly able to stand and queue.

However, I was queuing for the supermarket the other day, queue started out quite long but went pretty quickly and I was about 10th in the queue, when a couple of very old looking women turned up, walking very slowly with sticks, clearly not capable of standing for long.

The youngish woman in front of me asked them if they'd like to go in front of her, very reasonably in my opinion. They declined and it looked as if they were unsure whether to join the, long, queue or leave when the member of staff organising the queuing came over.

Another woman pointed them out to him and the upshot was that they went straight into the shop ahead of the rest of us.

Something similar has happened before when I've been queuing and I'm pretty certain nobody minded in the least, or most of us didn't.

However, there's absolutely no reason why someone who is a bit older and in perfectly good health shouldn't queue like the rest of us.

If the woman wasn't able to queue she was surely capable of asking a member of staff if she could go straight into the shop.

No real need for healthy people to queue jump.

Agree that the woman at the front could have swapped places with the old lady. Not acceptable just to let her in.

I’ve done that before but with a lady that was on one of those three wheel walking frames. There was about 50 people in the queue behind me. No one objected. Just because someone is fit and well it doesn’t mean they are, especially if they are old. She was doing the decent thing until she verbally abused you. Making a fuss makes you sound petty.

Much bigger things to be worried about than this

icansmellburningleaves Well if someone is using a walking frame I think most people would assume she isn't 100% fit and well and would be happy for her to go ahead of them in the queue.

@senua, if you curse every time someone in front of you dates to let two people out when driving, then it might suggest you are in serious need of chilling out.

How about you look at it that by the action of the person in front, you are also doing something kind?

Ironically, it's often people like you who also curse and act angry when cars dont let them pull out on the road.

I think most people are sensible about these things. My mum is 68 and has arthritis, she needs to sit down after walking for 10 minutes. People very kindly offer her their seat and randomly ask her how she is on street (pre-COVID). My aunt is similarly aged but sprightly and doesn't get a seat offered as much,

I'm very grateful to people who help my mum. But the minute this woman called an OP a fat cunt she lost any semblance of being right. Shame on her.

Can I as 'an old lady', 72, say I would die of embarrassment if I were the innocent cause of a foul mouthed row in a queue?

It would have worked if the woman at number 1 position had exchanged places with the older lady at number 13 position, but merely pushing everyone back a position wasn't very well thought out.
I wouldn't have been too pleased if I'd been in the queue at the time.

My funniest queue story was one Christmas, very busy Sainsbury's with long queus, I joined what looked like the shortest queue. The woman at the back of the queue, I assumed she was with the woman in front of her, gestured with her hands and said, "My husband is here." I said, "What?" as I was confused. So she gestured again and said my husband is here with the trolley, I started to laugh as clearly he wasn't. She was most indignant that I was jumping the queue and just then her husband joined her and she said, "Let's go to another queue, she's just pushed in." I laughe some more.

*@senua, if you curse every time someone in front of you dates to let two people out when driving, then it might suggest you are in serious need of chilling out.
I have no problem with anyone (including me, would you believe) allowing one person out. I have no trouble with alternating and taking turns. It's when they get excessively generous that I get cross.
I'm driving because I want to get somewhere, not because I want to sit in a queue behind some virtue-signaller!

1forsorrow

Something similar happened this week, but with younger couple. She was just standing there empty handed and then started gesturing to him. Eventually I walked past because the cashier was empty and I only had a few items, pretty much as he approached from behind me. They didn't dare say a word, though.

I'd have said something. The elderly rarely have time constraints or caring responsibilities to get home to so if physically able, let them queue. The only people I swap places with are lone mothers with multiple young children. I remember only too well what shopping is like with kids & it was bad enough without all of this covid malarkey.

The thing is some people do good to look good. So I can imagine someone getting embarrassed at being challenged and telling OP to fuck off.

Or, someone who is actually trying to do a nice thing would also be annoyed if challenged.

It would have worked if the woman at number 1 position had exchanged places with the older lady at number 13 position, but merely pushing everyone back a position wasn't very well thought out.

How selfish have we actually become if this is really considered a decent solution. Put yourself behind by half an hour v everyone up for a couple of minutes. Whatever happened to “we’re all in this together”?

I travel on the tram regularly and if an older person or a pregnant woman gets on and there are no seats, I offer mine saying “do you need a seat?”

Not remotely comparable. A better analogy would be if you demanded someone else gave up their seat for the pregnant/elderly person who had just boarded, without knowing if that person already seated needed a seat or not.

Really? It's just a queue. Were you in so much of a rush that 1 person joining ahead of you made such a difference. I'd just have gone along with it. It's a queue for goodness sake. It's not like the lady at the front was giving away your life savings or stopping you accessing emergency medical care. Some people.

Can I as 'an old lady', 72, say I would die of embarrassment if I were the innocent cause of a foul mouthed row in a queue?

The lady wasn’t. OP was.

@Lweji

I wouldn’t have wanted to disclose urinary incontinence as a reason You don't have to. It's quite normal for people to need the toilet urgently.

But people in the queue only had to say that they couldn't be delayed. The OP doesn't say so, and so I asked.

But then you get the nosy people who ask why not?

Example: when I was 18, I had been to the hospital for something once. I was sitting in the reception waiting for a taxi.
A lady asked (loudly): "Aren't you going to get up and let this man sit down?" (man was elderly, granted). Now, she had no idea why I was sitting. As it happened, I felt very unwell. But I also felt that if I didn't, she would continue to call me out and demand to know why not. I was too shy and too unwell to get into anything with her. So I stood, feeling dizzy, faint and sick, for 5 minutes waiting.
And that was in a hospital, where you might expect people to realise people might not be feeling great. Imagine in public.

@GarlicMonkey

I'd have said something. The elderly rarely have time constraints or caring responsibilities to get home to so if physically able, let them queue. The only people I swap places with are lone mothers with multiple young children. I remember only too well what shopping is like with kids & it was bad enough without all of this covid malarkey.

Many elderly people are unpaid carers for their spouses, or, in pre-covid times, their grandchildren.

Many elderly people are unpaid carers for their spouses, or, in pre-covid times, their grandchildren

Same can be said for many young people. How many kids were carers for their parents before this? This would have increased during this. How
Many single parents would have been sending one of their own kids to the shop?

There were people under retirement getting harassed by police for trying to help those who couldn’t go out not long ago. Having do gooders twitching their curtain because someone young went out, and outraged wanting to call police. Over pension age with a clipboard, wanting to police the neighbourhood, aw it’s ok let them get on with it.

I do like old people btw, normally we’d be sitting moaning about the bloody double standards, and
often from people who don’t have a clue.

@Lweji it is odd isn't it. She was so indignant, that's what made me laugh and that just made her more indignant.