Queue argument....... who was right and who was wrong.......

[ACautionaryTale]

Socially distanced queue at the supermarket. I was number 3 in the queue, there were about 12 in total. its not a big one but not an express style either. Most people only get a basket of shopping nor a full weekly shop.

Relatively older lady joins the queue at the back. So number 13. did not look infirm or otherwise struggling. I'd say late sixties/early 70s.

Woman who was number 1 in the queue indicates to new joiner to join the queue at the front.

Several people object. Number 1 lady starts saying its only polite to the older generation,.

I politely point out that it was not her decision to make on behalf of everyone else in the queue. She did not get to decide for everyone else whether the lady could jump the queue.

I got told I had no social respect (and called a fat cunt for the privilege) and that older people should go first.

Older lady at the back looked embarrassed and pointed out she did not want to jump the queue.

Lady in position 1 left the store offing and blinding.

Notashandyta

Six or seven minutes is a long time for somone with a chronic pain condition, for someone suffering side effects from medication, for someone worrying about getting home to a relative with dementia. I could go on.

The woman at the front of the queue knew what her situation was, but she didn't know the situation of everyone else waiting, yet she took it upon herself to make them wait longer. The right thing to do would have been to swap places.

For one thing, why do people have issues about queuing, why such a furore about it. I am 78, and I am always letting people go in front of me if they have less in their baskets. It's just a few minutes of your life, in a smallish queue, with baskets, and not 60 people with big loaded trollys.

So when someone driving in front of you lets a car pull out, hence putting you two cars rather than one behind do you react as indignantly?
Yes, frequently. If it's only one car then that's fine but they often let more than one in. They are so busy being smugly-nice to the people in front of them that they don't notice the people they are disadvantaging behind them.
The one that really gets my goat is when we are in a queue and the driver in front leaves a gap so that another car can join from the side road ... oblivious to the fact that I want to turn left into said side road and can't for ages until both the joiner and SmuglyNice have moved on.

@Mittens030869

My DM is 80, and I can't imagine her wanting anyone to offer her a place at the front of the queue. She is elderly but she isn't infirm and spends 2-3 months working in Africa every year. It's actually quite patronising to assume an elderly person wants to be fussed over like this.

I wouldn't be bothered about this particularly, though.

Exactly. This lady hardly qualifies as an "old dear" as described upthread. A good few people in their late 60s are still working and soon will be expected to be. She didn't deserve to be singled out and embarrassed if she didn't want to jump the queue.

And the personal abuse the OP received can't be justified.

@Cheeeeislifenow

Ummm, what?

Calling someone a fat cnt in real life is not the same thing as calling someone who I have never met or seen in real life an arsehole on an internet forum at all.

@Cheeeeislifenow Ummm, what? Calling someone a fat cnt in real life is not the same thing as calling someone who I have never met or seen in real life an arsehole on an internet forum at all.

Lighten up, dear, it's called 'irony'.

You were correct OP, she is a virtue signalling twat as evidenced by her reaction when challenged. Any one of the healthy looking people in the queue could have had any issue or reason to be quick about their shopping.

A couple of my elderly relatives used to escort me to the hospital last year 🤣 Either they wanted to tag along for something to do, needed a blood test anyway or visiting.
It was really sweet but funny as hell. At my worst they’d let me know when they needed to go to try and plan around me.

It wasn’t needed, one offered after I was verbally abused on a bus when I was sitting in priority seating. That was another virtual signaller.

I wouldn’t have minded. In the Waitrose queue, older people have priority; the guy who supervises the entrance calls them straight to the front.

I've asked before, but did anyone in the queue actually complained that they were in a rush or couldn't stand much longer?

As an "older lady" (late 60s) I'd have been a bit bemused at the offer. It is nice and very polite but I'm as able to stand in the queue as anyone else. Different if disability is involved but of course that isn't always obvious. I'd have been embarrassed to find myself the cause of the upset.

I doubt anyone called you a fat c..t and yeah I would of been fine with an older lady going ahead.

@Lweji

I've asked before, but did anyone in the queue actually complained that they were in a rush or couldn't stand much longer?

Seems not but as I said upthread, I wouldn’t have wanted to disclose urinary incontinence as a reason it’s a problem for me to wait longer. People don’t necessarily want to reveal their health issues.

Mintymabel:
The woman at the front of the queue said no, she was very tired and it was her turn next, but she stayed polite and I thought that was totally reasonable too.

Did you let parcel lady in front of you?

Yes I did but again, if anyone had objected, I would have gone to the back as they would have had a fair point.

I suppose though, round here, it would be unusual for anyone to object, or call anyone a fat cunt etc - though part of a big city, it's a friendly community area and I haven't seen any queue bust-ups (so far)

I cant understand all the people that I to public spats. I never confront a stranger - ever. Unless they drive into my car etc I cant summon up the strength to get pissed off to the extent of opening my mouth. I hate confrontations and they on my mind for hours so I dont partake.

None of you were in a hurry, the whole world is closed ffs! Older people are more likely to get ill and have previous illnesses so at this particular time the polite and respectful thing to do would be to let her get out of the shop first. There was no need for that woman to call you names but at the same time if I had gone out of my way to help an elderly woman and someone tried to stop me I'd think they were rude and ignorant too.

You made an argument in a shop over someone being decent to an elderly lady all because it would have added on 5 minutes to your day.

I wouldn’t have wanted to disclose urinary incontinence as a reason
You don't have to. It's quite normal for people to need the toilet urgently.

But people in the queue only had to say that they couldn't be delayed. The OP doesn't say so, and so I asked.

I would have just left it as it wasn't a particularly long queue, and it was a good deed.

None of you were in a hurry, the whole world is closed ffs!

Plenty of people are still working FT.

Nope you can't make the decision for 12 people. Totally wrong

Why should they go to the top of the que though? The elderly gave allocated times to shop.

My father is 79. He would be aghast if offered a place in a queue.

It was nice if her to let her through. Unfortunately not everyone in the queue was so nice about it but it's not worth going over afterwards... I was no 3 in a queue the other day at a checkout and an older lady got into into the big gap between the first and second person. The lady in front of me just stepped back (as did I) and we didn't say anything and let her in. She did look as though she was struggling a bit. It's nicer to be a little more tolerant, especially now.

Must be where I live. Even before lock down cashiers etc grew wise to the professional piss takers. There are people who push in constantly just because. Just like curtain twitchers, the professionally offended etc.

There’s probably loads of YouTube videos of when shoppers have gone wild when confronted for cheeky fuckery.

None of you were in a hurry, the whole world is closed ffs

Erm if the whole world was closed, cheeky woman number 1 wouldn’t have been in a shop.

@Lweji

I've asked before, but did anyone in the queue actually complained that they were in a rush or couldn't stand much longer?

As if some ones going to call out ‘I need to change my colostomy bag!’ Or ‘I’ve got fallen arches on my feet and they are killing me!’ Or ‘the heat is too much I feel faint’ ... why should people start shouting out their excuses as to why they don’t want to be pushed back in the queue?

Lots of peoples nerves are frazzled. When your shouldering a lot of on going stress the small things can really be a spark to the tinder

Wonder if it would have made a difference if op was number 4 in the queue. And already queued waiting to get in the shop. Normally a five minute shop has turned into 20 minutes and still not paid. Only went in for a couple of things. Then person ahead invited someone else to join the queue. A few of us were muttering and person who should have been second said I don’t bloody think so, what about the rest of us? Instead of swapping places, they started making a scene.