‘Go on, don’t be boring’

[HellloBambinos]

This is food related.

I’ve lost 10lb since lockdown and gone from an overweight BMI to a healthy one. I’d like to lose a little more weight but I love food so I’ve settled on sensible, healthy eating during the week and indulging a little on weekends. It’s been working great for me and I’m happy avoiding treats in the week.

A friend wants to meet this week and she wants to have a takeaway fish and chips picnic. I’ve said I’d love to meet up but I don’t want fish and chips and she said the above. She keeps going on about it. I’ve had other people do this before and it really pisses me off and makes it harder to be healthy.

AIBU to think this is really annoying or am I just a grumpy sod who needs to lighten up?

Try giving up booze! Everyone decides you are trying to ruin their fun, accuse you of being boring and eventually you don't get evening invites anymore at all. Being tee too and losing weight it's like you become a total social leper

I find fish and chips a bit boring.

The first couple of mouthfuls are yummy, all crunchy and salty and then, the next few are quite similar, then a few mouthfuls which are soggier or the chips are big, or then small and more of the same and I look down and I'm not even half way though. Then it's endless mouthfuls of beige.

Take a nice salad OP, with some frittata, some nice bits of cured meat then a lovely tropical fruit salad, or whatever you are into. Then ask her whose lunch is boring.

She might have just said it without thinking. Some people say stuff like that without even meaning anything.
When I stopped drinking I used to get it all the time and I used to pi$$ me off so much. I was like what am ? The entertainment????

I would turn this back on her. "So what you're saying is that the ONLY interesting thing about me is what I eat? And even then I'm only interesting if I'm eating the food that you choose for me? I like spending time with you but it doesn't sound like much of a friendship from your side, I'm surprised you bother at all."

Tell her you don't want to sabotage your diet. And bring your own food.

*thecatsthecats

Always be sure? Really? Some people must have some very odd friends.

@Bluesheep8

Do you honestly have no one in your life who you would casually use the word friend for, but who doesn't really fulfil that niche?*

No, I honestly don't.

Can you please stop banging on about bloody fish and chips because I'm bored of hearing it. What I eat makes no difference to you. You have what you want, and I'll eat what I fancy. You keep going on about it and it's quite weird that you're so obsessed with what I eat and quite frankly, if it's such a big deal for you then I'd rather not meet up at all.

Job done.

Thinking about it, the weight thing is irrelevant. She wants you to eat what SHE wants which is rather controlling. If she was a true friend, the point would be to meet up, not to eat her chosen food!

If you really want to stay friends, suggest a different outing. If she tries to control that too, I'd just quietly drop her.

Sounds to me like you're not not eating it just because it's a bit calorific, but because you don't actually like it? So she's being even worse, not only not respecting your decision to be healthy but not respecting your ability to make your own food choices at all? Why does she get to dictate what you eat if you don't want it?

well surely her friend isnt holding a gun to her head. Of course she doesnt have to eat anything. I was just suggesting a few things that are nowhere near as calorific as a large cod and chips, so she could go have a good day with her mate.

Other options include

• flipping her friend the bird, and telling her to go fuck herself while staying home with a salad. *Going to see her friend and eating something different. *Suggesting a different picnic *Making a passive aggressive comment *suggesting that her friend gets what she wants, while OP takes her own picnic.
• doing nothing because its lockdown and she doesnt want to meet her anyway. *telling friend that its not boring as such but youre on a diet at the moment.

God, the possibilities are endless, and yet all so very easy

I don’t drink so I feel your pain.

It’s one thing to go to a party at someone’s house and refuse to eat food you like because it’s unhealthy and sit with a Tupperware. It’s quite another to take food you want to eat to a picnic where other people are also taking food they want to eat. Even in the first instance, you wouldn’t be “boring”, more a bad guest.
I suspect she doesn’t want to eat a huge fish and chips sitting next to people who are eating a few snacky bits. It’s like going to a pub and someone gets a couple of bags of crisps for the table and you order a steak and kidney pudding and a knickerbockerglory but that’s her issue, not yours

@awesomeaircraft

Does anyone know why people do this when someone has said no to something? Why go on and on about it?

I think they see it as a swipe at their choices/lifestyle. If you don't make the same choice(s) you are therefore criticising their choice(s).

This is exactly it.

In terms of alcohol, I've noticed it more among those who drink more than is good for them. They want you to drink, so that they don't have to look hard at their own drinking, and they can justify it as normal.

*BarbaraofSeville

I don't know how to make it appear in a post, but is anyone else thinking ofMrs Doylenow?*

I know you said you’re not a massive fan anyway but maybe you could take a salad and if you get fish and remove the batter you could have like a fish salad? X

She is not a friend, a real friend would support and encourage you. I too have lost weight and it makes me feel so much better, mentally and physically. I am polite but ruthless about offers of cake etc, and ignore "ooh you are being good". It''s too hard losing weight to allow social guilting to sabotage it., she feels if she has fish and chips and you have a nice salad, she'll feel bad about her choices. Well that's her problem, stick to your guns.

I know you said you’re not a massive fan anyway but maybe you could take a salad and if you get fish and remove the batter you could have like a fish salad?

Yes or she could buy a few pots of mushy peas and bring a battery powered hand blender and make a pea soup... why do people keep suggesting OP goes for some extreme naff alternative version of fish and chips to please her friend, instead of just eating what she actually wants? Especially when her friend probably won’t be pleased by this at all, she’ll probably see it as complete piss take, which it kind of is.

I would take a really yummy picnic. Lots of little salads perhaps some tuna or salmon sandwiches unless you don't like fish at all. Some fresh fruit in a low cal jelly. Flask of some cool drink with ice cubes.

let her have her fish and chips if she wants.
Well done on the weight loss. I've lots 6lbs and hoping to lose more.

So @Branleuse you're suggesting that OP has a small cone of chips, that won't fill her up and she'll either be hungry or need to eat other stuff. When she could just eat a decent balanced meal which will fill her up for less calories?

I'd suggest that OP tells the friend to enjoy her fish and chips and she'll enjoy her "whatever she wants"!

Imagine OP saying I'm on a diet therefore I want you to eat the same food as me!

‘Everything in moderation’

How I loathe this phrase.

And this is why the UK has one of the highest obesity rates in the western world

Well done you. Stand your ground and take your own picnic.

@Branleuse she can have a good day out with her mate and enjoy whatever food she wants.

Same with people obsessed with making you drink alcohol

You don't have to eat the same thing, bring your own food with you, let her have hers. It's a non issue. She's the boring one and not a good friend if she doesn't support your goals of becoming healthier..

Well done on reaching your weight loss goals

I've never smoked myself, but I've been witness to the following:-

Coming outside for a smoke

No, I've given up

Oh come on one won't hurt you!

How nearly people need to back off!!

She’s being unreasonable. I’ve had the same pressure when in a pub and just wanting a soft drink. I think people pressure you so they can eat/drink with impunity without feeling guilty. They’re prats.