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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

‘Go on, don’t be boring’

286 replies

HellloBambinos · 02/06/2020 09:36

This is food related.

I’ve lost 10lb since lockdown and gone from an overweight BMI to a healthy one. I’d like to lose a little more weight but I love food so I’ve settled on sensible, healthy eating during the week and indulging a little on weekends. It’s been working great for me and I’m happy avoiding treats in the week.

A friend wants to meet this week and she wants to have a takeaway fish and chips picnic. I’ve said I’d love to meet up but I don’t want fish and chips and she said the above. She keeps going on about it. I’ve had other people do this before and it really pisses me off and makes it harder to be healthy.

AIBU to think this is really annoying or am I just a grumpy sod who needs to lighten up?

OP posts:
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 02/06/2020 15:04

I agree with AnneofTeenFables.

Actually OP, why are you making this an issue? You came up with the solution yourself. You said if it were pizza you'd switch your days... only you haven't told your friend that. Why? I don't understand why anybody would eat a food they don't like - or why a friend would suggest a food that their friend doesn't enjoy... unless they didn't know about the dislike. Does your friend even know?

Your thread makes me feel really uncomfortable as the same old venom-tipped posters make some pretty nasty comments about your 'friend' and you're not putting them straight. Do you enjoy reading them or something?

I never understand the threads that people post about their 'friends', letting posters here rip into them. Urgh.

IntermittentParps · 02/06/2020 15:59

Lying, the OP says she's told her friend 'I’m not fussed over them'.

Original poster
HellloBambinos · 02/06/2020 15:59

Not everything we do revolves around food so it’s not like I’ve suddenly ditched this tradition we have to eat fish and chips together. In fact usually we just get together for a drink, and il happily still drink G&Ts in abundance! I think she’s just stuck on the fish and chip thing because we live by the seaside and the shop is open now, there isn’t a takeaway pizza place.

I think what @3LittleMonkeyz says pretty much hits the nail on the head. I think maybe to her I’m being boring and revolving my life around calories and she just wants me to be able to relax, it’s not a dig at her or her friendship. When in fact that’s not the case at all, I’m more than happy to with my new eating habits, I don’t feel like I’m ‘dieting’ at all, just doing things differently and making myself feel better. You know what I think il just be honest with her instead of privately getting annoyed Grin

OP posts:
Juliet2014 · 02/06/2020 16:20

@buggeroffvirus

* No, you are right. I have lost 7lb during lock down but I have not mentioned it to ,my husband and he has not noticed.*
If he knows he will start trying to tempt me with fattening food.
Some people will not want you to do well. Its sad but true.

In the basis of your post, you’re married to one

Juliet2014 · 02/06/2020 16:22

Op
If she’s a good friend - definitely meet and use the opportunity to have a chat about where you’re at and not boring but just trying to lose weight to build confidence and for general health.

ChilliCheese123 · 02/06/2020 16:26

The chippy by me does floured fish, so it’s just coated in a light dusting of flour and briefly fried. That with a healthy portion of mushy peas is a pretty decent meal.

ChilliCheese123 · 02/06/2020 16:30

@AnneLovesGilbert I’m a size 8 and eat well, I also have Hashimotos so I am not unaware of how weight can be a bit of a battle. My perception of healthy slop is just that... it’s slop. I have a friend who i used to meet up with on our lunch breaks a lot. I’d have a rocket and salmon bagel, chicken salad, a sandwich, leftover pesto pasta .. normal food.

She’d literally bring a Tupperware of foul smelling mush. Was on a permanent diet and wrinkled her nose at carbs etc. the food Looked like a breast fed babies nappy. I had to stop meeting up with her because of it. It really put me off eating. Maybe that makes me weird ? I don’t care how much weight you have lost or how ‘healthy’ you are. Eat some proper food.

Juliet2014 · 02/06/2020 16:57

@Chillicheese123

Genuinely curious. Where does the OP, indeed anyone, refer to the OP or indeed anyone, wanting to or bringing to a picnic “healthy slop” or evening alluding to food that could be described as “healthy slop.

ChilliCheese123 · 02/06/2020 17:00

@juliet she doesn’t. Just projecting my own experiences on to the suggestion that op take her own ‘healthy food’.

Juliet2014 · 02/06/2020 17:11

@chillicheese123

Odd you immediately interpret the OP’s reference to healthy food as “slop”. I hear healthy food and I think salad, fruits, leans meats, oily fish, avocado, grains, nuts etc. Delicious food basically

Pinkblueberry · 02/06/2020 17:12

I am intrigued by this ‘foul smelling mush’. Did your friend ever tell you what was in it @ChilliCheese123? What made it smell so awful?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 02/06/2020 18:20

IntermittentParps, I saw that OP had said she 'wasn't fussed' but she hasn't said to her friend that actually, she'd happily join her in a pizza. I'm 'not fussed' about many of the takeaways but if the family's set on having one, I can usually find the 'best thing' for me somewhere on the menu and be happy with it. So perhaps 'not fussed' needs to be more explicit as it covers a range seemingly.

I know that OP has updated now and explained about why friend is so keen on fish and chips - also that she's going to speak up, so good result.

Gwenhwyfar · 02/06/2020 20:29

"I see her as often with a mutual friend, a woman we both flat shared with at university. I don't chit chat much with the mutual friend, and she's actually quite the bitch. But it would devastate my actual friend if I cut her out, and I wouldn't do that to her."

That was a huge problem for me growing up. Now as an adult, not so much. There's occasionally a partner I'm not that keen on, but friends of friends I usually manage to avoid these days.

Gwenhwyfar · 02/06/2020 20:34

"Most fish and chip places here will have grilled fish and salad on the menu. Is that an option?"

Are you the same person again who thinks you can buy salad at a chippie? Traditional British chippies don't do this.

MsMeNz · 02/06/2020 20:38

Stand your ground. I know for me I can't eat certain things when dieting as it's a slippery slop and I go off the rails. Good luck x

Stephie0x3 · 02/06/2020 21:12

@Pinkblueberry

I know you said you’re not a massive fan anyway but maybe you could take a salad and if you get fish and remove the batter you could have like a fish salad?

Yes or she could buy a few pots of mushy peas and bring a battery powered hand blender and make a pea soup... why do people keep suggesting OP goes for some extreme naff alternative version of fish and chips to please her friend, instead of just eating what she actually wants? Especially when her friend probably won’t be pleased by this at all, she’ll probably see it as complete piss take, which it kind of is.

Just trying to be helpful, OP was asking for advise, no need to be sarcastic. :)
Gwenhwyfar · 02/06/2020 21:13

"Just trying to be helpful, OP was asking for advise, no need to be sarcastic."

It's not that helpful though. OP doesn't want to have fish and chips so why should she?

Pinkblueberry · 02/06/2020 21:27

@Stephie0x3 I disagree. You think it’s helpful to suggest that while her friend gets a to happily dig into her favourite food, OP sits there picking batter off her fish and adding it to a tub of lettuce, just to please said unreasonable, chippy obsessed friend. I’d say this is precisely what sarcasm was invented for.

understandmenow · 02/06/2020 21:47

She’d literally bring a Tupperware of foul smelling mush. Was on a permanent diet and wrinkled her nose at carbs etc. the food Looked like a breast fed babies nappy. I had to stop meeting up with her because of it. It really put me off eating. Maybe that makes me weird ? I don’t care how much weight you have lost or how ‘healthy’ you are. Eat some proper food.

I'm sure she was pleased you stopped meeting her!

Also define "proper" food?

Supermum29 · 03/06/2020 18:20

I’m with you, this would drive me nuts. I choose not to drink, I just don’t enjoy it, I hate the hang overs and subsequently I get called boring. It drives me nuts.... I don’t need alcohol to be fun or have fun. You don’t need to explain yourself, do what makes you happy Smile

Buggritbuggrit · 03/06/2020 18:21

I have RTFT but haven’t seen this covered, so apologies if I’ve missed it, but why did diet/healthy eating come up at all? Why didn’t you just say ‘no, I don’t want/like fish and chips, here are some other options?’

FelicisNox · 03/06/2020 18:41

YANBU.

Your body, your choice. You've done really well and don't like fish & chips anyway.

What is it about the word no that people just don't understand?

Why didn't you just tell her you don't like it?

Stand firm and say: I'm not boring thank you, I've worked really hard to get my weight under control and I'm not ruining it on something I don't even like so let's have......

Then suggest an alternate solution.

Byebye1to1 · 03/06/2020 19:12

Just drop the chips for peas. I do.

Fishfingersandwichplease · 03/06/2020 19:27

I have lost over a stone and am dreading going back to meeting up with people for this exact reason.

cyclecamper · 03/06/2020 19:59

If you've been trying hard and lost weight, it's really depressing to use the 'treat' on something as dull as fish and chips, so I'm totally with you. Can you agree on somewhere more interesting where you have more alternatives?