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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

‘Go on, don’t be boring’

286 replies

HellloBambinos · 02/06/2020 09:36

This is food related.

I’ve lost 10lb since lockdown and gone from an overweight BMI to a healthy one. I’d like to lose a little more weight but I love food so I’ve settled on sensible, healthy eating during the week and indulging a little on weekends. It’s been working great for me and I’m happy avoiding treats in the week.

A friend wants to meet this week and she wants to have a takeaway fish and chips picnic. I’ve said I’d love to meet up but I don’t want fish and chips and she said the above. She keeps going on about it. I’ve had other people do this before and it really pisses me off and makes it harder to be healthy.

AIBU to think this is really annoying or am I just a grumpy sod who needs to lighten up?

OP posts:
thenovice · 03/06/2020 19:59

People do that when they don't want you to lose weight because they need to but they are not.

ktp100 · 03/06/2020 20:01

Tell her bollocks! Why would you waste your weekly treat on something you don't even like very much just so she doesn't feel guilty eating what she wants while you eat healthily?! Ridiculous.

00kitty · 03/06/2020 20:05

Suggest she gets fish and chips and you could take a picnic of a pasta salad? She’s being a twit

NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace · 03/06/2020 20:15

If you refuse to ever swap your days to have some form of treat lunch with your friend your are a bore imho tho.

Well, quite possibly. Betcha not as dull as you though Grin

Malbecqueen · 03/06/2020 20:17

This is so common... it's even worse when you stop drinking... (yes, I get the irony that I still haven't changed my name)...

Eating fish & chips doesn't make you "interesting".

Just gently tell her that you'll still be able to chat and fun whatever you end up eating or not eating...

Choccylips · 03/06/2020 22:28

If you're happy with what you have then there's nothing boring about it, unless she gets some kind of amusement from seeing other people eating fish and chips. But its more likely to make you unhappy and you've got to live with yourself so do your own thing.

ElfAndSafetyBored · 03/06/2020 22:32

Big respect to you for losing weight during lockdown!

Jojofjo44 · 04/06/2020 10:37

Yabu
You could remove the fish from the batter, have no chips or just a handful, have mushy peas instead. Without the chips it would be free food on Slimming World.

Jojofjo44 · 04/06/2020 10:38

Also, you can't project the blame onto your friend if you choose bad things to eat.

Tappering · 04/06/2020 10:43

You could remove the fish from the batter, have no chips or just a handful, have mushy peas instead. Without the chips it would be free food on Slimming World.

Did you miss the part where OP explained that she's not bothered about fish and chips? Why should she eat something she doesn't want to, just because her 'friend' has got her knickers in a twist about it?

She's not projecting blame onto her friend. She's nicely said that she doesn't want fish and chips. In response her friend has called her 'boring' and won't let it drop. I think it's quite weird to be so obsessed with what someone else eats TBH.

jgjgjgjgjg · 04/06/2020 10:46

Why can't you just go and eat request a small (child?) portion of fish (leave the batter) and take some salad with you. No need to make a big drama out of it.

corythatwas · 04/06/2020 10:48

Jojofjo44 and why does the friend get to dictate what the OP eat?
Why can't they have a picnic where the OP eats something she'd like to eat? If the friend enjoys fish and chips, why should the OP sit there eating a version of fish and chips with half of it picked off?

Socksontheradiatoragain · 04/06/2020 10:49

Why on earth is op being unreasonable? Why should she eat something she does not want, just to be more 'interesting' to her friend?

Tappering · 04/06/2020 10:50

It's really surprising the number of people who seem to think that you should go along with eating something that you don't want to, just to make someone else happy. It's really weird!

corythatwas · 04/06/2020 10:51

Why would there need to be a drama if the OP says "oh, that'd be lovely, as I'm not eating fish and chips atm, I'll just bring something else ?instead, can't wait to meet you"? If there is still a drama after that, it's not the OP supplying it, is it?

I can't imagine creating a drama if I'd suggested meeting up for a drink and a friend ordered lemonade. Can't see this is any different.

Socksontheradiatoragain · 04/06/2020 10:51

Cross posted with @corythatwas, and I agree with what she said.

corythatwas · 04/06/2020 10:53

I can see occasions where it might be good manners to eat something you are not keen on. If food is scarce and there is no money to get more. If you are at a formal dinner and there are no alternatives, if someone has put a lot of effort into cooking and you didn't tell them you can't eat x, y, z.
But this is an occasion where the food hasn't even been bought, which is not dependent on place (it's a blooming picnic), and there is absolutely no reason the two can't eat separate meals.

Inappropriatefemale · 04/06/2020 11:02

It’s good manners to eat some foods you don’t like on certain occasions? I totally disagree, that’s just stupid and anybody that expects people to eat something that they don’t like just to appease others is very strange to me, what sort of person expects that?!Confused

corythatwas · 04/06/2020 11:08

Inappropriate, I would say it depends on how much you dislike it. Not if it makes you gag, clearly, but if something just isn't your favourite. I grew up when there wasn't so much cheap food available and many people still live like that. In that case, it is really quite good to differentiate between "I really can't eat that, I'm going to have to tell my hostess" and "Oh no, it's stew when I fancied pizza".

If you have sensory or other issues, I think it is good manners to inform your hosts in advance so they're not spending lots of money on food that then gets thrown away and made to feel bad about it.

Inappropriatefemale · 04/06/2020 11:12

Yes of it’s not your favourite food then that’s okay but if you don’t like the taste of something without it making you gag, then I wouldn’t eat it and if I was cooking for someone then I would make sure I knew the things they liked.

My Grandma used to expect us to eat things we didn’t like, and when you didn’t like something then she would grill us ‘why don’t you like it’ ‘what exactly don’t you like’, hello Grandma the taste?! Duh, she was a very awkward woman who liked others to feel that way too.

Eckhart · 04/06/2020 11:14

@ChilliCheese123

The chippy by me does floured fish, so it’s just coated in a light dusting of flour and briefly fried

So?

BarbaraofSeville · 04/06/2020 11:25

Is 'eat this bland diet version of a food you don't like that much anyway' become the new 'cancel the cheque'?

022828MAN · 04/06/2020 11:27

I hate when people do this about anything (food, binge drinking etc).
Just take a picnic for yourself and let her get that. I wouldn't even discuss it further.

WhenPushComesToShove · 04/06/2020 11:30

I don't get why this is a big deal. She wants fish and chips, you don't. If she can't respect your food choices, why be friends with her - extraordinary!

shinyredbus · 04/06/2020 11:35

I get this all the time - best part of 10 odd years. I laugh it off - I’ll eat what I want when I want and I think people have become used to it now so 🤷🏻‍♀️