‘Go on, don’t be boring’

[HellloBambinos]

This is food related.

I’ve lost 10lb since lockdown and gone from an overweight BMI to a healthy one. I’d like to lose a little more weight but I love food so I’ve settled on sensible, healthy eating during the week and indulging a little on weekends. It’s been working great for me and I’m happy avoiding treats in the week.

A friend wants to meet this week and she wants to have a takeaway fish and chips picnic. I’ve said I’d love to meet up but I don’t want fish and chips and she said the above. She keeps going on about it. I’ve had other people do this before and it really pisses me off and makes it harder to be healthy.

AIBU to think this is really annoying or am I just a grumpy sod who needs to lighten up?

Why can't you have fish n chips as your treat, then be 'good' on 1 of the weekend days to make it even out.

Not much of a friend is she!

Stand your ground.

I agree with Rick.

Peer pressure. This is exactly what teens say when they want other teens to try drugs. She’s not respecting your decision to say no.

@Lazypuppy because I’m not a huge fan anyway and I don’t want to waste my treats on it

I’m a believer in everything in moderation and eating what you truly want so no foods are off limits. Fish and chips isn’t bad food. But if you don’t want to eat it then don’t, don’t create a drama out of it though.

Why does it make any difference to her what you're eating? She can have fish and chips without you eating fish and chips. Equally, you're not only entitled to a treat every once in a while but a rare high calorie meal also boosts metabolism and aids weightloss.

No you’re not boring or unreasonable!
I hate this kind of attitude, I had similar when I decided to stop drinking.
I was relentlessly called boring and no fun when I went out!

YANBU but I'd just shrug it off of it were me.

If they persist then something along the lines of 'I don't eat rubbish mid week anymore' or 'I could not meet you if it's a problem?' or even 'A little bit of support wouldn't go amiss! It's been really hard work losing the weight'.

Congratulations in your weight loss by the way! It sounds like a very sustainable approach too so I'd expect you'll keep it off 😄

Just be firm, no reason she cant have a chippy and you bring something else.

Keep your ground, it’s working for you.

Eat healthy and tell her to stop being an arsehole.

Yanbu. If you really wanted it then have it, but it drives me nuts when people try and make you eat things you don’t want. Like the endless cakes and biscuits brought into my office - I politely decline and it’s ‘Ooh, go on, have one’....I don’t want one!

I was going to say similar to rhodri. I was getting unpleasant flashbacks of being a teen and people calling me “boring”

Anyway OP, not wanting fish and chips shouldn’t be a big deal. Would your friend have called you “boring” if you weren’t currently losing weight and said to her that you just didn’t fancy it? Probably not. I’m not suggesting she’s trying to sabotage your weight loss, but people can get a bit weird when friends/family lose weight and it forces them to think about their own eating habits.

I wouldn’t call it ‘rubbish’ tho. Nothing wrong with fish and chips. Just reiterate you don’t want that, and you’ll bring something else.

She’s being annoying.
There’s no reason why you can’t bring something different to eat to the picnic.

Tbh I would just say "yeah sounds great" and then when you get there let her order first and then say "oh actually I don't fancy it." I've done this before with friends who like to encourage snacking/drinking when I'm dieting or just don't fancy it. You still get to socialise, they get their treat so you're not 'depriving' them and you don't have to waste calories/money on something you don't like.

Yanbu.

You two could eat something entirely different. Nowhere does it say you have to have the same meal. Your friend needs to grow up and back off. If you went to a food court, would you be expected to get the exact same thing or to a restaurant, would you order the exact same dish? No. She is being utterly ridiculous.

Just say, I don’t like fish and chips so I’ll bring what I want... so what time do you want to meet up.. and leave it at that.

I hate this too. The only two people who have done this to me in the past were actively trying to sabotage my weight loss due to their own insecurities. Is your friend that type? Stand firm. I wouldn't make a big deal out of it but don't give in!

Stick with what works for you OP. Some people don't understand how difficult weightloss can be mentally. You've found a routine of willpower and reward and deviating from that just once can derail you.

Well done on you loss so far.

She can have fish and chips and you bring a healthy lunch.
I've done this with family before and it works well.

I had this problem op, i lost a lot of weight, and frankly looked great. My ‘friend’ kept trying to pile me full of shite, to make herself feel better.

She just sands you do have it so she won't feel guilty about eating it. Stand your ground! Why not have a picnic instead and bring food from hone

Well, what has she said when you've said you're not a huge fan of fish and chips?
This needn't even be about eating 'healthily' or weight loss. 'I'm not a big fan of fish and chips but sure, let's meet up; I'll bring some [food you do like] instead.' Wouldn't that be the end of it and no hard feelings?