‘Go on, don’t be boring’

[HellloBambinos]

This is food related.

I’ve lost 10lb since lockdown and gone from an overweight BMI to a healthy one. I’d like to lose a little more weight but I love food so I’ve settled on sensible, healthy eating during the week and indulging a little on weekends. It’s been working great for me and I’m happy avoiding treats in the week.

A friend wants to meet this week and she wants to have a takeaway fish and chips picnic. I’ve said I’d love to meet up but I don’t want fish and chips and she said the above. She keeps going on about it. I’ve had other people do this before and it really pisses me off and makes it harder to be healthy.

AIBU to think this is really annoying or am I just a grumpy sod who needs to lighten up?

So you're boring for not wanting to eat HER choice of fish and chips, but it's ok for her not to want to eat YOUR choice of a picnic? Not much of a friend is she with this sort of selfish attitude!

You stick to what you want to eat. If she was really a friend, she wouldn't care what you ate. Congrats on the weight loss btw.

FISH and Peas works for me , the chips are the really bad boys , but yes make your own choice as ever .

Congratulations OP! Ignore your friend. It's easy to fall 'off the wagon' with healthy choices so it's weird and unsupportive that she is encouraging you to. The point is to meet up not what you are eating. You could bring your own picnic.

I don’t ‘dislike’ fish and chips and before I probably would have just eaten them for the sake of it. But they aren’t my favourite, I never crave it or get excited b the thought of having it. So I don’t feel like I’m depriving myself at all. Pizza on the other hand, I probably have just done as others have said and tweaked my indulgence days

She’s not overweight at all, just normal (but yes skinner than me!) and eats what she wants without worrying.

I’d never criticise anyone else’s food choices or call anything ‘bad’ but if she’s going to push me then obviously I’m gonna be honest and say it’s not the kind of thing I want to be eating!

She's being annoying. Would she appreciate the same back?

Fish and Chips is the most boring meal in the world! Take what you want to eat and ignore. In future just say "I don't like them", I don't at all -I feel sick for the rest of the day if I eat chips from a chippie at lunch time. I wouldn't be friends with someone who was trying to manipulate me thou.

Bring your own food - you don't need anyone to sabotage you - well done.

Have it on slimming world take batter of and free and the same for peas xx

Lazypuppy
Why can't you have fish n chips as your treat, then be 'good' on 1 of the weekend days to make it even out.

because she doesn't want to. DOesn't make her 'boring'

Yanbu: I am using the lockdown as an excuse not to socailise! and lose weight!

You could take your own or alterantivly are have a kids portion or just a fish if you fancy it. Make up a health issue - Gallstones/ gall bladder is a good one

But that is not the point its the same as not wanting alcohol- agree until point of ordering and then change your mind!

Put us some serious boundaries, if you don’t want to have a chippy don’t. I don’t drink and people accuse me of being boring all the time, they’re allowed to do that. Congratulations on your weight loss, don’t let anyone ruin your achievement.

I hate people who do things like this, she wants justification for stuffing her face with a greasy fish supper, go along and take something you like with you if you don’t want it.

Do they not sell salads in UK fish & chip shops ?

I can’t recall ever seeing salad on the menu on a fish and chip shop in England. Or grilled fish.

They’ve all been deep fried fish, deep fried chips. Sometimes other deep fried options - sausages, burgers, chicken. With mushy peas and beans usually available as side options.

Just say you're not a fan of fish and chips but she's welcome to have it while you have something else? I'd try not it to mention good/bad food and say you fancy something else instead.

I agree, people often use the 'don't be boring' because they feel guilty about eating/drinking something themselves. It can also be difficult to break a good routine once you're in it and trust yourself to get bsck on track.

Why would eating fish and chips make you more "interesting" ? Does she get that much entertainment out of watching you eat fish and chips?

Do you usually throw each chip in the air and catch it in your mouth, OP? Or balance them on the end of your nose? You could do the same with tomatoes or cucumber slices.

Alternatively, tell your friend it’s her company you want, not her food. So you bring your own picnic, and chat with her while she queues at the chippy. It’s a takeaway anyway, you’ll eat it somewhere else, so she is BVU.

Unless you have made an issue about fish and chips being generally unhealthy or fattening and appeared to criticize her choices, she is being unreasonable. You could say that you're 'off' fish and chips at the moment, and that she could get the takeaway for herself and you will bring something for yourself (and bring fruit or whatever you like). If she still presses you about it, then she is not respecting your choices for yourself, and that is unfair.

This is the standard response of people who don't want to see you better yourself.
Whether it's through their own insecurity or what, I'm never quite sure - maybe it's just Tall Poppy Syndrome (where they "cut down" anyone they think is getting above themselves).

I have friends who have given up drinking, given up smoking etc. and WITHOUT FAIL some bastard has tried to entice them back into their habit - because they don't like that said friends have managed to give it up. Either because they can't do it themselves, or don't want to do it themselves, or because subliminally it makes them feel bad about themselves - again, who knows.

But it's a far from supportive stance and she's not much of a friend if that's how she's going to be.

This kind of thing annoys me so much. My friends and I, at various times, have different strategies re drinking. I can honestly say it's never a problem. I'll have two glasses while they have none. They'll have a glass while I have none. Whatever. this idea that you can't enjoy your treat if someone else is not having the same is so self indulgent, selfish and frankly, immature. Annoys me intensely. It means the person who is eating/drinking whatever it is feels bad/guilty/judged and that's really their thing, not yours.

I am very slim, underweight
But I don’t like junk food or food like fish and chips, curries etc. I just don’t.

I love salads and salmon and fruits and poached eggs etc

So meet me for a brunch of poached eggs on toast and nice coffee - lovely! Fish and chips - no thanks, I’ll eat or bring something else.

My friends are very similar so not a problem but sometimes comes up against people that genuinely seem perplexed that on my eyes a “treat” isn’t stuff like a curry and ice cream.

I don't understand why eating high calorie food is supposed to be fun. It's the sort of weird attitude to food that gives people complexes, see also "naughty", "cheeky" to describe an inanimate piece of cake.

Most fish and chip places here will have grilled fish and salad on the menu. Is that an option?

I hated this whilst dieting too OP. I have several different groups of friends and each one would say “oh go on, treat yourself”. Doesn’t work when you’re meeting lots of people so shut the hell up!

Saying someone is being boring because they don’t want to do what you want them to is really naff and quite frankly childish. She sounds really annoying and unsupportive. If she’s still going on about it then that’s really weird. As a pp said if she’s so desperate for a chippy picnic you’re not stopping her - she can eat what she wants and you bring to eat what you want. She sounds a bit bonkers - I take it you haven’t seen her in a while, so the main objective should be to have a nice catch-up, but she’s more bothered about what you’re going to eat

Very weird from you friend. I have a friend who spends 50% of her life on a diet and 50% indulging. If we meet up to have a picnic in the park with pizza and wine, half the time she'll say 'I'll be there but I'll bring my own' and will turn up with a salad and some cordial. I couldn't give a damn what she's eating, it's totally up to her!

Congratulations on them weight loss and just try to ignore your annoying friend.

P.S. unfortunately I have found your lost 10lbs.