Aibu to let a hurtful comment from a stranger get to me so much

[metronome1]

As above really. Has this happened to anyone else?
Its sounds so pathetic and childish now I have actually wrote it down. Feel a bit like a teenager and I'm most definitely past that age. I'm 30 for goodness sake. I should just shrug nasty comments off and be resilient but unfortunately I can't stop thinking about it.

I was walking home from work with my little girl and a group of women were sat in a park I walk through. One of the women said something about my appearance and they all laughed. I just carried on walking with my dd but it did get to me.
I keep thinking about it since and feel really down about how I look and keep thinking that others probably think this about me too.

Do you just shrug hurtful comments off? If so how?

Talk to your daughter about what happened and what is says about the people who were mean, rather than focusing on the comment they made to you. We are always kinder to our friends when something horrible happens to them, but to ourselves we go over and over hurtful things and take them as gospel. If you use it as a learning experience for your daughter she will see how strong you are and you will have a chance to be kinder to yourself about the experience, and hopefully move on from it. Repeat what you would tell a dear friend (if it happened to them) out loud each time you think about it. What they said is unkind and their unkindness says nothing about you and everything about them.

@Inkpaperstars your last comment made me laugh, thanks!

Off to practice being incandescent with rage for the next time I meet w*nkers like this.

I'm.so sorry they were unkind. People are cruel horrid and damn right evil.
I've been told by several different strangers over the years that I'm ugly. Totally random unprovoked comments from strangers. I now see myself as the ugliest troll that ever lived. I cry a lot to myself and wish myself dead at times. Dh dirsnt understand. I had issues over body confidence before but now after the comments .....
Big hugs x

They're putting you down to feel better about themselves. So really, they're sad, spiteful & pathetic. They just wanted a reaction. A much younger guy made a nice comment to me not long ago , his v v short, round, older companion went "nah mate, she's got a fat face". I just turned round & said & you're a shortarse & he coloured up. I'm getting gobby in my old age & it's rather empowering.

@Giffgaff99 do not surrender your self esteem to idiots like that. Find things that give you pleasure in life, including some fun clothes and shoes, and give yourself permission to have fun and shine. You have a DH - if he truly is dear then you have a prize beyond rubies. Be kind and loving , to yourself as well as others. x

I'm so angry on your behalf OP. People who act like this are the absolute pits. I'm sure there's nothing wrong with your appearance - people who are ugly on the inside will always find a way to put others down though, and it's the shallowest, nastiest of people who will mock a stranger doing them no harm in front of their own child.
Nasty, cowardly bullies. Pity is all they deserve.

Imagine sitting in the park with a selection of your own friends and a woman you don’t know walks past. How unhappy with yourself, insecure and limited in your horizons and IQ would you have to be to take pleasure in being nasty, just for the sake of it?

I pity people like this, so should you OP.

Excellent post from CornforthWhite.

Ignore any fishing to find out more about what was said. It doesn't matter what was said. It was cruel and hurtful. But you are better than that.

Move on and you are a special.

That’s very unkind Op, I’m so sorry

They had nothing better to do than pass derogatory comments on a stranger?

That is seriously sad and I'm not even being ironic. I mean it really is actually sad that some people are so lacking in anything else meaningful to say, out of the infinite millions of meaningful things to say, that that's what passes as conversation. Try and find it in your heart to muster up some sympathy for these poor pathetic people OP. But nobody would blame you if you didn't

People that are nasty about other s are usually we really insecure small people I'm so this happened to you , im sure your gorgeous op says much more about them than you!.x

I hope understood that my auto correct went mental... 😂😂😂

Op, I've been barked at by men I don't know, laughed at in the street by men, and had them to my face on different occasions say things like "urgh, not you, UGLY" (queue laughing hysterically whilst making vomming actions at me), or "shame they can't all be like that" (having just seen a beautiful skinny blonde walk by and there's ugly old 14 year old me sullying their view) whislt smirking and looking at me, to even young kids shouting and pointing at me "urgh!! Look at her LEGS!" (I was trying cropped leggings for the first time, never again). I've just come to accept I will never be slim and beautiful and anything men will ever look twice at or that thing women are grateful they never look like. It hurts still. Every time. But I guess I'm just numb to it now. Some humans are just cruel.

People who make hurtful comments about other people for fun are probably the most insecure people.

Know that inside she probably hates herself and lives a lie every day, hates the person she sees in the mirror, because anyone happy in their life wouldn't stoop so low as to try and make someone else feel bad about themselves.

Love your life Op, dont let any stranger put you down.

That’s awful op. I’ve had this before and it’s really bothered me for days and weeks afterwards.

They are obviously complete low life’s.

I understand OP. Once when I was a teenager I was sat in the park with a friend and we were eating sausage rolls. A couple of men walked past, saw us and started singing ‘who ate all the pies‘ and laughed at us while mimicking grabbing their bellies. It’s stayed with me for years even though logically I know it’s them with the problem.

People like that are not worth your worrying time. Seriously it’s not you, it’s them. Keep your chin up, lovely 😊

I’m really sorry that happened to you. I’ve had similar happen to me and it really hurts.

Everyone who’s said it’s about her, not you, is right. Also, she deliberately said something nasty to/about a woman with a child - knowing you were unlikely to confront her in front of your daughter. What does that tell you?

Their horrible opinion doesn't matter. I hope you are ok OP. They are just miserable people x

They said awful things simply because they are awful people. I’m really sad that they’ve hurt you so much. I find that those sort of people are the ones that say utterly ridiculous bitchy things like ‘Jennifer Lopez has such a massive arse’ because pulling other people down makes them feel better about their own horrible, unhappy, unkind inner selves.

poor you it takes time to get over that. I remember when I was 18 I had awful acne. One summer I was wearing a dress, I had long curly hair at the time, and a van full of builders came up behind me tooting and calling out. When I turned around and they saw all my spots they all went ugh and recoiled. I've never felt so humiliated, I had to run around a corner and just cry. It did affect me for a few years. I always thought I've a good body/hair, apart from my face. I wish I could go back in time and help myself to forget it quicker, and take no notice.

Gosh, I know no adult women who would behave like that. In fact, every woman I know would be completely if they were sitting in a group and someone did this.

What a bunch of absolute bitches.

So sorry op...I assume they all looked like supermodels

I've found it's mostly men. Its one of the reasons why I hate them so much.

Many years ago when I was a lot younger, in my 20s in fact, I used to care a lot more than I do now about what others thought. One day I was sitting in the communal garden of the flats where I lived with a group of neighbours. I had just washed my hair and was letting it dry in the sun so I had no make up on. I used to suffer with acne which left old marks that were concealed when I wore makeup.

One of my neighbours remarked on the old scars and asked if there was nothing I could have done about them. I looked her in the eye and said "In the type of people I come from it would be considered very rude to make personal remarks like that. You must have been very badly brought up." She was so embarrassed she got up and walked away. Next time I saw her she apologised and said she realised that it was rude and patronising.

Nowadays I would probably not care. One of the advantages of being older is that you care less and less about what other folks think. The problems these women have with your appearance are their problems and not yours.