How do you sleep together?

[MeetMeInTheMiddle]

Seriously. How do couples sleep together and manage to get a good night's sleep?

I haven't spent the full night with my husband in over 2 years. Whenever we try it results in an argument. Either because one of us is taking up too much space, or one is breathing too loudly or snoring, disturbing the other. And then there's the fact we both often get up to go to the loo in the night which disturbs the other. So he will always leave to the spare room so we can actually sleep.

How do people manage it? We have a king size bed and we aren't big people. I never imagined spending my married life like this.

We have been in separate beds for about 18 months and have felt some shame about that, actually so pleased to hear it’s not too uncommon! Our relationship is fine, but we only have space for a double and we don’t sleep with the other tossing and turning, snoring, too hot / too cold etc. It started after I had my first round of IVF meds and crazy hormonal affects and it’s just stayed the same since. Obviously if we have guests we return to the same bed (would be rather rude otherwise considering we only have one guest bedroom 🤣) and neither of us sleep well.

Interestingly in holiday, where in nice hotels there seems to be a king / super king bed and good air con, we sleep well in the same bed together!

Super king sized bed. It is amazing; like we’re in different postcodes

King size beds..... but is separate rooms [grins]. We haven't slept together for years, best thing we ever did. We are both really light sleepers, he gets very stressed and gets up a lot to do emails in the middle of the night, he also snores like hell. Apparently I also snore, but I obviously don't . A good nights sleep makes for happy couples, I think the Victorians were on to something.

Separate bedrooms. Saved our marriage.

Superking size bed (DH over 6ft) with a tempur mattress (I have a bad back) fan on all night even in winter for white noise. DH only snores when he is really tired and even then because its so minimal I find it cute!! I sleep talk sometimes but he finds it funny and we have a good laugh the next morning when he tells me what I was rambling on about!! we always start off in bed with me laying my head on his chest then we both fall asleep with our backs to each other …. wouldn't have it any other way

King bed
Separate quilts
Facing away from each other
Anyone snoring is immediately woken up to reposition

We love each other very much, I swear. We are both just light sleepers.

Double bed but two single duvets made a huge difference for us, DH likes to wrap himself head to toe regardless of the heat while I can't stand being too hot in bed so now we can have different tog duvets, he can roll himself up and I can kick my duvet down as much as I like.

King sized bed and I stick to my side and gently (usually) push him away if spooning makes me too hot. I would cut back on the drinks before bed unless you have a health condition which means you need to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Earplugs might be useful. Some noise is to be expected if you sleep with a partner, dh will snore if tired but then when I am tired I sleep like the living dead so it wouldn't bother me anyway. The noise eg. breathing is likely to sound amplified if you have gotten used to sleeping on your own.

I wouldn't go back to sharing a bedroom with a man. I love my room, it's like a giant hug when I walk in and close the door. No man smell or stuff. Its fab

Just normal size bed for us. DH doesn't always snore but I am a light sleeper so I usually wear ear plugs as I would be waking not just because of his snoring but because of the noise of rain, wind, neighbours, dogs etc.

Neither of us have to get up in the night for the loo. I don't understand why so many people do. We are both in our 60's and drink plenty through the day. We nearly always have a drink before bed too

We don’t either

I fidget and get up to use the toilet a lot

He does this annoying thing with his legs that causes the whole bed to jolt

Infuriating

Expensive noise cancelling ear plugs

Individual duvets

Superking size bed

Just got used to it. We used to be unsettled when we first started sharing a bed, but now I sleep much better with him in bed than I do when he’s not there.

Is it the end of the world if you two have separate beds? As long as you’re able to make time for intimacy, it’s ok to sleep separately for the sake of getting enough rest.

Wow! Amazed anyone gets any sleep from these descriptions! DH and I naturally sleep to quite different schedules. We have the rule that if he isn't in bed by midnight, he sleeps in the spare room so he doesn't disturb me. But don't you just get used to sleeping with someone? If my DH snores, I poke him so he'll roll over. If he grabs the duvet, I pull it back. I hadn't realised it was so problematic for so many people!

My husband doesn’t move around much, though he used to snore which disturbed my sleep. The right pillow, after much hunting , solved that. He used to complain that I ‘bounced around’ - not sure if have stopped but it doesn’t seem to bother him now 🙂! We have a king size and had to spend a few nights in our guest room double recently - it’s against a wall so only one side out and feels smaller because of that, but it was absolutely fine.

I think we find it easier now as he used to travel hugely for work so both of us were used to being on our own a lot so sleeping back together was more unsettling. Now it’s the norm for us.

My husband snores, farts and also has horrendous nightmares when he screams, shouts, swears and lashes out. We also have very different sleeping patterns so he comes up to bed a couple of hours after me and inevitably wakes me up. I put up with it for 25 years but last year I cracked and slept in the spare room one night. It was a revelation. The spare room is now ‘my’ room and I love the unbroken sleep I get.

Back to back on a king size mattress. Both of us are quiet sleepers.

We have a standard double and sleep perfectly fine and are not especially small people either. We go to bed at the same time, both read, turn the light off whenever the first person wants to. No probs!

My least favourite thing about being married is sharing a bed.

Go to bed together for chat or shag purposes. Then separate beds in separate rooms. The snoring, the insomnia, the heat, the everything. Just no.

When it's sleep time I get out and go in the spare room, which we may as well call my room because it's also where I get dressed every day. I get up at 6.15, rest of them don't need to be up until 7.30, so I creep about and use 'spare' room as a dressing room.

Both of our sets of parents sleep in different rooms too.

Super king bed, king sized duvet each. Perfect.

Been with partner 8 years and sleep in a double. Never really had a problem but i hate when I'm asleep and he tries to cuddle me. Back off pal

Superking bed, latex mattress, earplugs, eyemask.

So many people wear earplugs. I just find they made my ears sweaty and itchy.

Just not worth it imo.

30+ years. Standard double bed. King sized duvet. Tolerance.

That’s what works for us.