How do you sleep together?

[MeetMeInTheMiddle]

Seriously. How do couples sleep together and manage to get a good night's sleep?

I haven't spent the full night with my husband in over 2 years. Whenever we try it results in an argument. Either because one of us is taking up too much space, or one is breathing too loudly or snoring, disturbing the other. And then there's the fact we both often get up to go to the loo in the night which disturbs the other. So he will always leave to the spare room so we can actually sleep.

How do people manage it? We have a king size bed and we aren't big people. I never imagined spending my married life like this.

Standard double. DH doesn't snore thankfully. Neither of us is susceptible to heat and we have a memory foam mattress that doesn't move or bounce. I cant go to sleep unless he's hugging me, and if I'm reading he hugs me to go to sleep....which is tricky. We've always slept either cuddled up or at least touching.
I apparently talk a lot in my sleep, neither of us get up to go to the loo. I would feel very dejected if we had separate beds let alone separate rooms.

Super king sized bed with zip link mattress (2 singles zipped together). I wear headphones at night with the radio on for white noise to help drown out snoring. DH usually gets up for a wee or 2 in the night but he’s quiet and I generally don’t hear him.

We don’t.

My DP spends a lot of time on the sofa downstairs.
He can sleep anywhere and once asleep that's it.
I however wake up very easily and if I don't sleep well I'm a real grump the next day and feel anxious and on-edge hence why sleeping downstairs is preferable for him.

We have a double and drives me mad as it's too small for us. We're saving to buy a king size. Unfortunately we can't fit a superking in our bedroom.

We sleep back to back and I have no qualms about nudging/shaking/booting him awake when he starts snoring.

Previously when it's been too hot/too cold I have got rid of the big duvet and made us have a single duvet each just to feel like i have more space!

We don't.

Seperate rooms from 3 years back. Six people. Six bedrooms. And if anyone were to share it'd have to be some of the kids because I'm only prepared to do so for irregular holidays (for which we generally try for 2/3 per bedroom, but which at this rate will never happen again).

Ear plugs. I couldn't sleep a wink without them. They must be magical as they drown out the sound of DH snoring/shuffling around/breathing in the most annoying way possible, yet I can still hear the children cry if they wake up.

We have a tempur mattress

I get up about 10 times a night. It doesn’t disturb my husband

Plus we have a super king size.

How funny. DH and I have slept together almost every night for over 13 years and we only recently upgraded from a double to a queen. On the odd occasion I travel for work neither of us can sleep. We do sometimes have little arguments though, I don't like to be touched when I'm sleeping and I get annoyed if he tries to cuddle me in the night and wakes me up.

• Biggest bed we could find
• Earplugs (for me)
• Eye mask
• Choosing the side of the bed you like to sleep on, so for instance, I sleep on my left and have left side of the bed facing out so no heavy breathing in my face
• Creep to en-suite in middle of night, no flush til morning!

Separate duvets is the trick - you feel each other moving less

We have a super king size bed (about 6 feet) .Each side has a 3 foot mattress that zips together down the middle .Separate single quilts as well.Absolute bliss.Expensive but worth it .

Super king bed. Zip link mattresses (his is like a brick, mine is a bit softer. Own duvets

The duvets are the biggest game changer

We don't.
We started sleeping separately when I was pg with DS1, because I had such terrible hip and back pain. Tried a tempur mattress topper, didn't help. Tried other padding, didn't help. Ended up sleeping on a doubled over duvet on the studio couch downstairs - which was better because it was quiet squishy, but I also had the back support to lean against and take the pressure off my hips.

Then when DS1 was born, we co-slept, and DH quickly shipped out because of the disturbance to his sleep (ah bless ). Then we moved to Australia (DH's homeland) and I was still co-sleeping with DS1. Got pg with DS2, even worse problems with back and hips - sleeping on my own became imperative again. Then co-sleeping with DS2.

Never got round to going back to sleeping with DH because our sleep patterns are completely different (he goes to sleep at 8:30 and wakes at around 5, I can't go to sleep before 11 or I'm awake at 3, so I go to sleep after midnight and wake around 7:30. But Dh is not a considerate person in the morning - he always used to put the overhead light on to find his clothes and other ridiculous behaviour, so I'm quite happy not sharing with him. Plus he snores and kicks.

I can't say it's ever been a problem. We just have a double bed and the only time we've slept in different rooms is when I've been ill and have chosen to take myself to the sofa because I find it easier to prop up there and get more comfy when in pain.
Fortunately neither of us are too bad on the snoring front!

I wouldn't sleep well if he wasn't there!

We have a king size bed, he doesn't snore (that would be a deal breaker for me) but I do have ear plugs to hand if his breathing is annoying me.

Super king here too. I honestly don’t know how folks manage in a double, whenever we have to stay someplace and it’s a double my heart sinks there is just no space.

Whoever invented double beds should be shot! Seriously, I hate sharing my bed - DH snores, fidgets, gets up a million times in the night, has a phone which vibrates when he gets a message, wears earphones which I can hear and is generally very annoying. Luckily he usually falls asleep on the sofa! He also expends a huge amount of heat and I like to be very cool at night - we are obviously incompatible because I like the bedroom cool, light and quiet, he likes it hot, dark and with background noise!!

Supper king size bed in the middle of the room, separate duvets, dh has a wedge pillow that stops him snoring.

And we’re both trained to sleep through the other one getting up - Ds2 has medical needs and we take it in turns to have his monitor and get up if the alarm goes off. 8 years of that and neither of us wakes if it isn’t our turn! Being exhausted probably helps too. I do have to have about six timed alarms to get me up in the morning though.

Nope - why do you ask :)

We sleep spooning all night. I actually get a better sleep cuddling each other than when we sleep at opposite sides of the bed!

Another vote for separate duvets

Super king-sized waterbed, with separate mattresses. Each with separate heating and variable softness. A fan on my side to make it cooler also creates white noise, to block the worst of the snoring (we both snore). Bliss (most of the time).

I get into bed about 10pm, eye mask on, and fall asleep. DH comes up and brushes his teeth while I'm getting ready for bed. He stays up until about midnight and gets into bed quietly, rarely wakes me. I struggle to fall asleep with him next to me because of breathing, fidgeting etc so it works for us. If I really can't sleep I'll go to the spare room perhaps once a month

We don't.

We haven't shared a room since the children stopped co sleeping and went into their own rooms which was about 18yrs ago.

DH sleeps for 8-10 hrs a night, in pitch darkness, all windows and doors closed, 13.5 tog duvet all year round, radiator on.

I sleep on average around 5hrs, windows never closed, no curtains, fan on all night, 4.5 tog duvet (or sometimes just a sheet) radiators turned off.

We are just not compatible bed partners. Even for the 15+yrs we were married before having children we often slept apart. We made co-sleeping work because it was important to both of us.