paddling pool etiquette or garden play in general

[cola2019]

AIBU to ask fellow mumsnetters about paddling pool or garden etiquette in general??

Kids are 12 and 10 and I bought an 8ft pool for them at husbands pure disgust. Bought it on Tuesday and they have been it everyday. They splash and throw each other off a tyre they may shout a bit and perhaps sometimes they do "fight" over it. Usually busy doing other stuff in the mornings and I am struggling to get them out for a walk because of corona so this gets them off their devices. However hubby says the neighbours do not want to hear children shouting and screaming all day. 1. It isn't all day and 2. It is playing - maybe arguing a couple of times like kids do.

When they were little he didn't like them in the garden so i used to spend all sunny afternoons at the park where they could play to their hearts content.

We live in a street with predominantly older neighbours because the twice we lived in a close and a crescent with lots of families we had to move because hubby didn't like children playing in the street. They were literally outside for 1.5 hours!!! I thought it could end like this as he is not working today but thought I would give it a chance. He has chucked the water out and dismantled it now until they learn to play quietly. Both kids are now both back inside on their devices!!!! I tried to get them out I really did.

Do neighbours mind on a sunny day kids playing outside for 2 hours?? Our neighbours are ok a little strait laced and all in the over 50's bracket but we had to choose a house somewhere where my husband would feel comfortable as the 2 other house moves were disastrous due to lots of families living close by!!! I am sure other kids are out in their pools and I seen photos on facebook. Hubby says it is ok if you live on an estate where you have chosen to be surrounded by children but we made the choice to pay more and get ourselves out of the 'kids everywhere' bubble and the neighbours will be so angry that their peace has been shattered. He has told the kids they need to put a sorry letter through the 2 next door neighbours doors - I have stuck up for the kids and said they don't need to and he is fuming that I have undermined him. Please be honest but who is right here. I think I am but the more I think about it now I am thinking maybe it isn't fair on the neighbours and I should have forced them out on their bikes or a day trip to the beach for the day.

Let them outside! Kids have been in a very strange situation for the last few weeks,they need to let go a bit! Don't worry about the neighbours- if your area is like mine, there may be a constant background noise of lawn mowers,drills, circular saws and strimmers so I wouldn't worry about your kids having fun!

Lovepoppy it doesn’t work like that. My neighbors and I are up and about for say 12 hours a day of daylight at the moment. So they will have a noisy crazy hour or two, then play quietly or go in doors for an hour or two, then they come back out and have crazy loud times again. So on an average day in lockdown the kids get maybe 6 hours a day of v loud playtime in the garden, and we get roughly the same amount of quiet time. I think ourneighbours are v considerate and am grateful for what they do. I certainly don’t think that being stopped from making endless noise outdoors is ruining those kids childhood!

Nah, ive not come across an adult who doesnt understand how hard this is for kids.
DH needs a talking too.....after being placed in the pool

Bravo to your husband. I live in a densely populated area and am so sick of the shrieking spawn.

Good for him for having an awareness of others trying to enjoy their day. Kids can play without making noise if they are properly parented.

Oh do fuck off @PerveenMistry you goady twat. Laughing my arse off at 'properly parented'.

OP, your husband is mean-spirited, joyless, selfish, controlling and a bully. What a nasty piece of work.

Have my first ever LTB. Your children will thank you.

@Casualbride
But that’s far more than the “one to two hours” I responded to, isn’t it?

Lovepoppy in my post that you q outed I I said they play quietly for an hour or two after letting off a load of noisy steam, I didn’t say they play quietly for the entire rest of the day.

Quote Nevertouchakoala Wed 03-Jun-20 22:46:29
@EatsShootsAndRuns can you explain how it’s racist? I’m not defending or denying it just a bit confused? I’m probably missing something really obvious!
^^
You are.

@fascinated I’m really not I can’t see a racist word in there but I may not know the meaning behind one I was asking so I can avoid using it in the future. Can you please try and help me rather than judge?

Bigot just means prejudiced. Which is about more than racism.

I can’t believe you really don’t know that?

If it's the word bigot, bigotry covers more than racism.

Yeah I did know that but I just mainly associate bigot with racism and maybe it’s on my mind more because of wider issues in the world. I didn’t really think that the person deserved for her child to be called a bigot because he was ageist. I thought there must be a bigger issue I was missing.

@fascinated also how judgemental of you about me may or not understanding something. You know know anything about my background, what my first language is, what learning difficulties I may or may not have. I thought it was about racism but yes I do know the meaning of the word bigot. Take a look at your judgemental tendencies.

Oh come off it, all professionally offended now....

We both know you were being obtuse. It was obvious that the bigotry meant was ageism. That’s nothing to do with language!

Judgmental tendencies lol

I wasn’t being obtuse not on purpose. We both know you were/are judgemental and now I’m judging you for using “lol”

Honestly, It never occurred to me that an adult would call a child a bigot for being ageist.

Oh I can’t be bothered with this kind of faux innocence.

Children playing nicely in the garden without screaming and shouting/swearing is absolutely fine wherever you live. In my opinion.

We never lived in a place where it would have been safe for kids to play on the street when I was a kid, likewise with my own. Always on a road that went somewhere. So I don't know anything about that.

He sounds a bit of a misery if he's gone to the extent of tipping out the water.

TBH I'd probably undermine him by going next door and asking the neighbours outright if they mind your kids playing in pool in the garden. Then head to head by filling up the pool and encouraging them out to play in it.

If it was everyone's kids round, loud music blaring away and like a party every day, then he might have a point.

The OP isn't coming back, is she?

I was thinking same thing. Really hope op is ok as quick scan of her other posts here show her DH is an uncaring selfish idiot who doesn't deserve to be a father. I hope she finds the strength to see a solicitor,kick him out and have a better future for her and her children

Yes, child with SN (sorry if not correct term) too. OP sounds to have a very difficult life.

Kids playing in garden on sunny day is lovely to hear - kids making noise outside on evening not so nice !

We are surrounded by older neighbours between 50-80+ and I have three children 3, 7 & 10. All our neighbours have said in the past they love hearing them playing outside and having fun. Kids are kids and as long as it’s between reasonable hours in the day then it shouldn’t be a problem and if it was, I’m sure your neighbours would have let you know!