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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbour just scolded my husband for building a fence. AIBU for being angry?

335 replies

LindyMoe · 29/05/2020 18:54

We're building a fence on our land for privacy in the garden. There is currently a hedge about waist high the neighbour has grown between gardens, but we would like privacy especially with my newborn.

He questioned my husband, demanding a reason for the fence but given it's on our land and we're sacrificing garden space to be away from his hedge, I'm quite shocked. He said we dont need one, that it's not pretty and that we haven't given him the attractive side. My husband said we're allowed to build what we want within regulation... it's a fence!

He then stormed off and said goodbye to being neighbourly.

In this time of worry and stress its making me quite anxious and I'm worried he will try and cause problems for us.

AIBU to be angry about this? I wanted to be friendly but honestly dont think we've done anything wrong.

Sigh

OP posts:
Unobtainium · 29/05/2020 19:54

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

TARSCOUT · 29/05/2020 19:56

We put up 6ft fence in back garden. Told neighbours on one side as I like them, didn't tell other side, no need to. My fence, my money, we have two good sides, why would we not?

Annebronte · 29/05/2020 19:56

I don’t think you’re in the wrong. It’s usual to want your garden to be private and secure. I thought the owners of the fence got the better side?

ifIwerenotanandroid · 29/05/2020 19:56

Carry on being nice to him for the moment, until you see how he's going to be. His remark about not being neighbourly might just be spur of the moment pettiness. I'd give him the benefit of the doubt & see how it goes.

TARSCOUT · 29/05/2020 19:56

Good side is the bit without the posts showing. The only way round it is if they want to pay for their side.

Truthpact · 29/05/2020 19:57

Who actually finds a fence attractive more one way than the other? Confused it's a bloody fence not a model.

SharkasticRhymes · 29/05/2020 19:58

It's not really about giving someone else the attractive side. It's that maintenance is much easier on the backside of a fence. This is a new fence so the problem is likely a few years off, but if the fence needs maintaining you typically would have to go onto the neighbour's land to maintain it. Which might cause problems in itself.

EstherEliza · 29/05/2020 19:58

I wouldn't give him the attractive side, if he wants an attractive fence he can put one up on his own land.

LokisLover · 29/05/2020 19:59

Given his attitude about not needing a fence and it being unneighbourly I think he would have been the same if you had gone round and given him warning before hand anyway so crack on and enjoy your privacy.

PanamaPattie · 29/05/2020 20:00

How are you going to maintain the “good” side if you give it to your neighbour? He probably won’t let you in to his garden and the fence will be obscured by his hedge. Stop the pandering. You have paid money for this fence. You get the “good” side.

1Morewineplease · 29/05/2020 20:01

Yeah... you should have said something.

Walnutwhipster · 29/05/2020 20:01

YANBU! My NDN is adamant the ugly short fence between us with parts missing belongs to her. We offered to pay half to repair/replace it but she won't even enter into discussion. Next week a six foot privacy fence is being erected a couple of inches this side of her precious fence which will block out all the light in her garden. She has no idea. I don't care what she thinks and yes she's getting the ugly side.

dogsdinnerlady · 29/05/2020 20:02

I think if the fence belongs to you ie on the land registry as yours, then you put the 'neat' side of the fence on the neighbour's side.

loubieloo4 · 29/05/2020 20:03

Just wait until you paint it!

Healthyandhappy · 29/05/2020 20:04

Lol we had a small fence when we moved in anyways it blew down and we waited 4 months b4 saying to nwighbour we need a new fence they asked if it could be 5 ft with 2 ft wall and even paid half anyways they like it as sunbathe in garden wll time my kids like 2 jump on trampoline so they can see them lol

Chicchicchicchiclana · 29/05/2020 20:07

I can't stand everyone locking themselves in behind 6ft fences! If you need privacy that much then live somewhere secluded.

diddl · 29/05/2020 20:08

"My neighbours raised their fence without warning and I didn't really like it. I have no issues with them doing it but letting us know would have been nice."

So realistically it would have made no difference, other than you would have known before they started the work?

Graciebobcat · 29/05/2020 20:08

Our fence is vertical timber and the same on both sides. Didn't even know there were fences available that were different on each side or had supports that leant into one garden.

That said, we told our neighbours we were building a fence. As some of the old one had fallen down, they were delighted!

AlwaysCheddar · 29/05/2020 20:08

Don’t give him the nice side!!!

Graciebobcat · 29/05/2020 20:11

I can't stand everyone locking themselves in behind 6ft fences! If you need privacy that much then live somewhere secluded

It's not privacy, it's security. Thieves will choose your house with the tiny hedges and shit small fences every time.

BlankTimes · 29/05/2020 20:12

Find out the exact boundary line and have a note made on your Deeds that your fence is not a boundary fence.

NewtonPulsifer · 29/05/2020 20:14

When I replaced our fence I didn’t want the “ugly” side so I bought horizontal fencing which has two nice sides. It was more money, but a small amount over the life time of the fence to keep the neighbours happy. The guarantee on the panels was longer than the standard ones so is doubly worth it.
The having a manual for house ownership, the Property board on here is good for queries.

OnlyJudyCanJudgeMe · 29/05/2020 20:15

You should’ve told him you were doing it, that was very rude.
After that, none of his beeswax.

Laiste · 29/05/2020 20:17

''Blocking his view into the distance'' ??! Hmm

If you want to live with a guaranteed life long 'view into the distance' you have to purchase yourself a suitable property. That kind of privilege comes at quite a price ...

It's too late now, but i would be cautious about building fences off proper boundary lines OP. Your house now has a boundary fence line which won't match with the boundary lines on the deeds.

Laiste · 29/05/2020 20:19

I've x posted with BlankTimes about the deeds thing. It's important.

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