Neighbour just scolded my husband for building a fence. AIBU for being angry?

[LindyMoe]

We're building a fence on our land for privacy in the garden. There is currently a hedge about waist high the neighbour has grown between gardens, but we would like privacy especially with my newborn.

He questioned my husband, demanding a reason for the fence but given it's on our land and we're sacrificing garden space to be away from his hedge, I'm quite shocked. He said we dont need one, that it's not pretty and that we haven't given him the attractive side. My husband said we're allowed to build what we want within regulation... it's a fence!

He then stormed off and said goodbye to being neighbourly.

In this time of worry and stress its making me quite anxious and I'm worried he will try and cause problems for us.

AIBU to be angry about this? I wanted to be friendly but honestly dont think we've done anything wrong.

Sigh

[CharlotteUnaNatalieThompson]

You don't HAVE to tell him, but it's courtesy to tell a neighbour when you're doing something that affects them.

Don't change the way the fence faces if you don't want to though.

[ToothFairyNemesis]

Am confused , how is one side of a fence more attractive than the other? Can someone post a picture please.

[AuntieDolly]

You don't have to do either of those things!

[Ipadipod]

Don’t give him the nice side !

[MrsVeryTired]

Its standard to put the better side on the outside. But yes should probably have told him (you don't need to ask permission but its polite to tell neighbours this kind of thing).

[TinyPigeon]

You don't have to tell him, nor give him the good side!

[doughnutmuffin]

I wouldn't automatically give them the attractive side but I would have told them so they had the opportunity to say (if it was on the boundary) they will pay for extra wood for both sides to look good

[hfrdgftcsdg]

Don’t listen to these weirdos. You probably worked hard for that house. He has no business complaining

[Anydreamwilldo12]

You don't have to tell your neighbours you're putting a fence on your own land and I wouldn't be giving him the nice side either. You're paying for it so keep the nice side. He was unreasonable having a go at your husband, it's nothing to do with him,

[OneJump]

Had literally no idea that you are supposed to put the fence that way round and we've owned 3 houses.

He obviously likes nosing in at you. I hate waist high hedges. Our current house has them. I'd put a big fence up all the way round if I could.

[PersephoneandHades]

You don’t owe your neighbour anything and even if your behaviour could be classed as anti-social his scolding and yelling is far more so.

I will never understand why people feel so entitled to other people’s space? As an introvert I don’t want to feel the need to make conversation with people while in my own garden, nor do I want people staring at me from all sides while I’m trying to relax and have some me time. If this type of thing offends you I suggest picking up a hobby.

[MrsVeryTired]

The reason the good side is usually on the outside is the posts etc (if there is any) should be on the owners side in case of maintenance or replacement needs.

[PickwickThePlockingDodo]

This place is nuts.
Just put the fence up OP, it's a normal thing to do. Everyone does it. You are allowed and you don't have to ask your NDN.

[PrincessHoneysuckle]

Its nothing to do with him.Enjoy your new fence.

[ListeningQuietly]

Lihigg
I have 7ft fences all round. I can't imagine anything worse than seeing my neighbours in their garden all day.
If you do, I hope your neighbours demolish them as they are illegal without planning permission
www.planningportal.co.uk/info/200130/common_projects/20/fences_gates_and_garden_walls

[Bluntness100]

You don’t need to give him the attractive side, seems pointless if he has a hedge.

However it’s common politeness to let them know you’re erecting a fence. Is this your first home?

[KittyMcKitty]

It may be worth checking your deeds - some have special stipulations about fences etc.

[Bluntness100]

*I hope your neighbours demolish themg

God how nasty, why this extreme reaction.?

[NerdyBird]

You don't have to tell them if it's entirely on your land. The stuff about giving neighbours the 'nice' side is just what some people think is the done thing, it's absolutely not necessary. Our neighbour did their fence and gave us the 'wrong' side. It really doesn't matter.

[Bienentrinkwasser]

I have to say I find the whole ‘I’d be horrified if my neighbours could see into my garden’ attitude a bit weird. Our boundaries are a mishmash of low fence, hedge, and mesh with plants growing through. Our cottages feel a bit like a holiday camp. It’s lovely.

[LesbianMummies]

The idea behind giving the neighbour the nice side isn’t about being nice it’s so that you, as the fence owner, can access the fittings to maintain and repair your fence without having to access your neighbours land.

[BrightonBB]

You don’t need to give them the attractive side at all. There is nothing in law to say that. It is an old wives tale. You paid for it you have it how you want.

[ListeningQuietly]

bluntness
If you have had a garden with a 3 foot fence / boundary for many years
and some bugger puts up an illegal 7 foot fence
taking all your light
YOU'd be pretty pissed off.

Showing my age here but does anybody remember MrsDeVere and her neighbour's shed that effectively wrecked her garden

[Bluntness100]

Some of these responses..blimey. No wonder so many folks are lonely, don’t answer their doors etc.

Op no you’ve done nothing wrong you don’t “have” to tell him and yes you can erect up to six feet without permission normally.

However as it means he will now have a side of his garden fenced it’s normal polite practice to inform your neighbour.

[LindyMoe]

@Bluntness100 yes it is our first home, but I really thought that as we were building on our land it wouldn't matter. The sun rises and sets diagonally over our gardens so doesnt affect him at all, and he has his hedge.
I'll take the learning for next time in terms of letting neighbours know what we're doing.
Very strange.