Neighbour just scolded my husband for building a fence. AIBU for being angry?

[LindyMoe]

We're building a fence on our land for privacy in the garden. There is currently a hedge about waist high the neighbour has grown between gardens, but we would like privacy especially with my newborn.

He questioned my husband, demanding a reason for the fence but given it's on our land and we're sacrificing garden space to be away from his hedge, I'm quite shocked. He said we dont need one, that it's not pretty and that we haven't given him the attractive side. My husband said we're allowed to build what we want within regulation... it's a fence!

He then stormed off and said goodbye to being neighbourly.

In this time of worry and stress its making me quite anxious and I'm worried he will try and cause problems for us.

AIBU to be angry about this? I wanted to be friendly but honestly dont think we've done anything wrong.

Sigh

Dont give me the 'attractive' side -just don't. You put your fence up and put it up how you want.

Like fuck would I give him the "attractive" side the rude twat!

If he thought that it would have been polite to tell him about the fence he could have said so.

Sounds as if he thinks you should have asked his permission as he's been there longer!

Put panels on both sides of the fence and then ignore the idiot.

Enjoy your new home. Dont worry about the fence. If he doesnt want to be friends then it really doesnt matter. Some people like to complain. Just be polite and say hello.

You have every right to put up 6ft fencing.

Don’t pander to his aggression.
I bet if he gets his own way re the side of the fence you’ll get further grief over something else down the line..

Who talks to their neighbours about plans in your own garden?

It's your land. As long as its a permitted height, it's a total non issue! As for the good side, that might be convention when installing a fence between boundaries but this isn't.

I wouldn't engage again with them @LindyMoe, it'll only lead to arguments and pettiness. Enjoy the privacy!

He's not Ops friend. He's her rude twat of a neighbour

TBH in my garden I gave my neighbours the back side of my fence - they asked me to
and my neighbours have put up their new fence with the back side facing me - which is fine

I just wish they had not replaced the 3 foot veg garden fence with 6 foot as all my veg is now starved of light

We have just taken the 6 foot front fence between us and neighbours down (corner plot and next house), it blocked light and means we can sit on drive sand chat to each other... have I broken a Mumsnet rule?

’If you are going from a 3 foot hedge to a 6 foot fence
you are cutting out half the light from his garden
and cutting off his views to the distance’

Boo hoo.

Sadly when you give in once some people take the piss. You dont want to end up in the future with a complaint about baby noise, garden games, toddlers enjoying themselves.

I imagine if he’s been there a long time his nose has been knocked out of joint a bit. We had issues with our neighbours when we first moved. Now we’ve been here 5 years everything is fine. They have been in their house 40 years and feel a proper ownership about everything (inc the village itself).

Fuck em, keep the nice side high as you legally can he can sit with a face like a slapped arse staring at his manky hedge, just watch in case the twat takes the hedge out and trys to appropriate part of your land.

No, of course he doesn't get the attractive side. You are the one putting up the fence, you get the attractive side.

If he has a hedge in front of the fence then having the attractive side is a bit pointless as will be hidden as it grows.

It would be polite to inform of the work but surely if sits on your land and within legal fence heights its your choice whether to go ahead, just as if he decided to grow his hedge to 6ft which would block your view/light somewhat.

rolls up sleeve

RIGHT!

1. you do NOT have to tell your neighbours you are putting up a fence on YOUR land.
2. If the fence is on YOUR land or on YOUR boundary side you do NOT have to give them the attractive side of the fence.

FFS.... all this "oh you should have told them.." "they should have the naice side". No... just NO!

OPs land, OPs fence OP can do want they want.

Also... the OP would be PERFECTLY within their rights to cut down any hedge that has grown on their side if they wanted to BUT they aren't. That in itself is nice.

OP is allowed to have privacy. Neighbour should wind their neck in.

If some of you were my neighbour and expected me to tell you when I was putting up a fence on MY land and for you to have a go at me for doing so then YOU are being a bad neighbour.

As a rule I would always knock and let next door know about any upcoming work which might disturb them. A fence in particular as it's on the boundary line.

My neighbours raised their fence without warning and I didn't really like it. I have no issues with them doing it but letting us know would have been nice. Our other neighbours intend to do the same and they've told us weeks in advance. However they currently speak to each other over the fence (and over our heads) so I'm not sure how they'll manage to keep doing that.

"cutting off his view into the distance" !

Cutting off his view into the Ops garden. She not surrounded his whole garden with a 12 foot wall!

My neighbour didn't bother mentioning to us that they are putting up an extension and only found out when the planning notification came in and people on here are saying she should have notified him about a fence!

No don’t give him the attractive side, your fence you get the nice side surely? Yes you could have told him you were installing a fence, but he behaved like a dick and that isn’t justified. If he doesn’t want to be neighbourly that’s fine, just ignore him. I would hate to be overlooked by my neighbours! Who wants to be stared at whilst trying to relax in the garden!

One of the things I am really enjoying during this otherwise difficult time is getting to know my neighbours better. We are often out in our gardens and talk to each other over the lowish hedges, gaps in the trees etc.

Obviously not all neighbours are wonderful, but by and large I think if you are courteous and considerate to others it pays dividends. And increases your own enjoyment of your home.

We used to have 4' chain link, our responsibility, between us and NDN. She asked if we'd mind if she replaced it with close-boarded 5' fence.

I said it would be fine, as I could understand her wanting more privacy and not having my honeysuckle and weeds poking through into her (beautifully maintained) garden, and I knew that she could put up a 6' fence a few inches into her garden anyway.

Now it's up I really hate it, it feels so enclosed! But it was the right thing to do, she's a perfect neighbour (friendly and happy to chat, but not intrusive, and quiet).

It would have been a good idea to speak to your neighbour first and explain what you were planning to do, OP.

The thing about attractive side is not a legal thing and plenty of people feel like if rhey are paying for it they should have the best side. Hard to disagree.

The other reason for having the bad side is that it is better for security as someone could use the rails to get in your garden.

You are entitled to put up a fence on your land provided it is not higher than 2m and whilst you could have mentioned it by the sound of it he would probably have made the same objections so you would have ended up in the same situation.

You may as well crack on and give youself the good side as i dont think he'll be reasonable either way