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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not speaking to friend because she saw boyfriend.

232 replies

FeistyOne · 28/05/2020 19:43

A bit peed off with my friend. Her and her boyfriend live seperately but the past week have been visiting each other's houses and going on walks.
I think this is a bit hypocritical since from March until now she has been moaning that people need to follow lockdown so life can go back to normal.
I messaged her saying cant believe people are breaking lockdown and using cummings as an excuse and she said that the past week she has been going on walks and seeing him because she hasnt seen him for 3 months and couldnt cope any longer.

I think it's selfish. They live 20 minutes away from each other and risking things just because they miss each other

OP posts:
ellabella18 · 28/05/2020 23:30

@BirdieFriendReturns

Missed the point completely. On Monday you won't be BREAKING lockdown by doing that will you?!

BirdieFriendReturns · 28/05/2020 23:31

ellabella18 - I’ve already hugged my mum so...

84claire84 · 28/05/2020 23:34

Ellabella18 - THE FRIEND WASNT BREAKING LOCKDOWN RULES EITHER. SHE WAS ALLOWED TO MEET ONE PERSON FROM ANOTHER HOUSEHOLD TO GO ON A WALK WITH

Christ 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️. Get off your high horse. Just because you and your granny are shielding has naff hall to do with this post

MrsGradyOldLady · 28/05/2020 23:34

I think you're dreadful and terrible friend. Posting on here looking for validation and virtue signaling. You're all that's wrong with humanity. But rest assured there's loads more like you.

BirdieFriendReturns · 28/05/2020 23:36

Just to infuriate Ellabella a bit more...I’m moving to my parents house on Monday! 😱

Because if I don’t, I’ll have nowhere to live!

Destroyedpeople · 28/05/2020 23:36

What 'yet again' ? Have we spoken before?
No I thought not. People need to get a grip.
And bleating 'selfish' should get a biscuit or something.

Original poster
FeistyOne · 28/05/2020 23:38

I didnt mean to start any arguments on this post. Most people clearly think i'm in the wrong so there's no point me staying on this post now as it seems a battering

OP posts:
cantsaynotocake · 28/05/2020 23:54

Just do you...
So fed up of people moaning about others.
Just worry about what's best for you and your family..

Ilovemypantry · 28/05/2020 23:58

For all those saying “people have had enough now” and to ask people not to see partners is “unkind and unrealistic”....you don’t just end lockdown for these reasons. The virus is still out there, spreading and infecting and killing people. Nobody likes not being able to see loved ones but it is what it is and until we are told that it is safe to end lockdown or ease the restrictions then we must all comply for the sake of everyone and to bring the virus under control.

eeehbyegum · 29/05/2020 00:04

You sound really miserable.

Ilovemypantry · 29/05/2020 00:04

@84claire84
You are right in saying that the friend didn’t break the lockdown rules by meeting her bf and going for a walk ( as long as they stayed 2 metres apart) but she DID break the rules by going into his house. Even in today’s briefing it was stressed that going into other people’s homes is not allowed.

eeehbyegum · 29/05/2020 00:11

@ellabella18 You may have been shielding. BUT, it doesn’t mean the whole world has to!

84claire84 · 29/05/2020 00:19

@Ilovemypantry

I see what your saying BUT I visit my friends house so we can go on our social distances walk, doesn't mean I go in her house. I also visit my other friends house and chat to her from the top of the drive as I'm walking past. I've never once been in any ones house but have visited many.

JudyCoolibar · 29/05/2020 00:26

Meh. I think we've reached a point when we know who we can trust to have been following safe practices and to tell us if they've been in touch with anyone who is more likely to post a risk.

MrMeeseekscando · 29/05/2020 00:27

Aren't you spiteful?
I broke and started seeing my boyfriend outside for walks the second we were allowed. Did I keep 2m away? No. I snogged his gorgeous face.
The fact is that in 2 months I had more physical contact with the guy behind the counter in my local tesco than the guy I love.
I've stayed away from everyone, so has he. Why the fuck don't I get to see the one person that makes me happy?
The last big announcement when I realised we weren't going to be allowed to see each other? I sobbed and sobbed for days. I was drinking every night pretty much until I fell asleep.
3 hours outside in his company and I've stopped both.
Enjoy your cuddles with your partner.
Your friend? She deserves better.

shinynewapple2020 · 29/05/2020 00:28

It must be very difficult for her, And for anyone else in this situation.

Come on OP, she has started meeting her boyfriend after being apart for several weeks. It's not as if she's on tinder meeting a new bloke every night!

You are really lacking in empathy here, life is very rarely 'black and white'.

dazzlinghaze · 29/05/2020 00:29

Glad you're not my friend! It's always the people who live with their partners/spouses that are up on their high horse. I'm sure you'd be singing a different tune if you were in her position. You can't compare not seeing parents/siblings/friends to not seeing your partner. For most people their romantic partner is their closest person and the one who they get their physical and emotional comfort from.

My boyfriend and I both live on our own and have seen each other throughout lockdown.
I don't feel an ounce of guilt as I have otherwise followed the rules to the letter and the time I've spent with him is what's kept me going through all this. All of my friends have been completely understanding and supportive of this, if they weren't they would not be my friends anymore as it would highlight a complete lack of empathy and compassion for me.

Ilovemypantry · 29/05/2020 00:31

@84claire84
So you’re doing it right by not going into your friends’ houses.

I just can’t understand people who are breaking the lockdown rules and feeling pleased with themselves for doing so. They won’t be so pleased if they pass the virus on to a loved one or get it themselves. This is not a game that you cheat in.

eeehbyegum · 29/05/2020 00:38

@Ilovemypantry

For all those saying “people have had enough now” and to ask people not to see partners is “unkind and unrealistic”....you don’t just end lockdown for these reasons. The virus is still out there, spreading and infecting and killing people. Nobody likes not being able to see loved ones but it is what it is and until we are told that it is safe to end lockdown or ease the restrictions then we must all comply for the sake of everyone and to bring the virus under control.
True! But a person seeing their boyfriend occasionally is akin to separated parents sharing children. It’s not a mass party. It’s not killing people.
Daffy2020 · 29/05/2020 01:54

I think you should concentrate on your own situation rather than other people’s.

CuppaZa · 29/05/2020 02:30

Bit of a bitch aren’t you OP

DHMB20 · 29/05/2020 03:09

I’ve only read the first four pages and I’m appalled by how nasty everyone is being to OP. I think a big part of the issue is that her friend has been a hypocrite— who hasn’t at some point got annoyed at someone for that? And rules are actually rules, OP’s friend’s situation sounds low risk and I think at this point in the ‘curve’ it’s OK for her to meet her fella, but if everyone had just flouted the rules whenever they felt like it throughout the crisis then there would be a lot more people dead. In fact, from the sounds of replies on this thread it sounds like a lot of people HAVE been flouting the rules, so maybe that’s why so many lives have been lost. Rules only work if everyone follows them, however silly or extreme they perceive them to be. I wouldn’t have fallen out with my friend over this but I don’t think OP is a horrible friend etc. I think some PP are trying to justify their own actions by having a pop. The nastiness of this thread is the side of MN that makes me sad.

DHMB20 · 29/05/2020 03:13

And sorry but not being able to see partners for a few weeks is not a big deal in comparison to people losing their loved ones forever due to contracting the virus. I think some people are being ridiculous about how depressed they are.

understandmenow · 29/05/2020 03:17

OP - AIBU

MN - YABU

OP - No I'm not

Flounce

So many of these threads ATM.

For what it's worth your friend is better off without your opinions.

ALongHardWinter · 29/05/2020 03:20

Biscuit MYOB.