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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not speaking to friend because she saw boyfriend.

232 replies

FeistyOne · 28/05/2020 19:43

A bit peed off with my friend. Her and her boyfriend live seperately but the past week have been visiting each other's houses and going on walks.
I think this is a bit hypocritical since from March until now she has been moaning that people need to follow lockdown so life can go back to normal.
I messaged her saying cant believe people are breaking lockdown and using cummings as an excuse and she said that the past week she has been going on walks and seeing him because she hasnt seen him for 3 months and couldnt cope any longer.

I think it's selfish. They live 20 minutes away from each other and risking things just because they miss each other

OP posts:
HugeAckmansWife · 28/05/2020 19:59

And I'm not clapping for the NHS because it's cringy virtue signalling. My breaking of the rules in a considered and adult way does not mean I have murdered doctors and nurses. I swear to God, there are people who are LOVING this opportunity to be a snitchy, know it all preacher.

Artesia · 28/05/2020 20:00

Beyond just parroting “it’s against the guideline”, what’s your actual concern about what she is doing, and what real risks do you think it poses?

amijustparanoidorjuststoned · 28/05/2020 20:00

You do know you are allowed to meet one person outside of your household now, outside such as going on walks? Did you not get this memo?

Just a heads up, from Monday we will be allowed to meet in groups of 6 outside. Unless this is a troll, you're being quite spiteful. Are you are jealous of her relationship?

MadameMarie · 28/05/2020 20:02

Just a heads up, from Monday we will be allowed to meet in groups of 6 outside

With social distancing. Are these people out with their partners all abiding by the SD requirements?

BooFuckingHoo2 · 28/05/2020 20:03

Oh how nice it must be to sit on the moral highground while you’ve been able to see, cuddle and kiss your partner every day Hmm

Runkle · 28/05/2020 20:03

Get over yourself.

Dozer · 28/05/2020 20:05

YABU.

Betty98 · 28/05/2020 20:06

You’re not being a very good friend if you can’t sympathise/empathise with her situation.

I assume you’re very anxious about coronavirus otherwise I’m not sure why you’d care what others are doing, perhaps work on that anxiety?

savehalloween · 28/05/2020 20:07

I think you've done her a favour to be honest. Why not just worry about yourself and what you're doing?

hfrdgftcsdg · 28/05/2020 20:07

She’s probably pleased to be rid of you!

Lordamighty · 28/05/2020 20:07

Get a grip, this virus has made people lose all sense of perspective & brought out the petty mind in a lot of people. It’s not a good trait.

Furrybootsyecomfy · 28/05/2020 20:07

I live in Scotland, but I thought it was within the “rules” now to see one person outside for a walk in England. In which case you are being VVU.

Even if not, this is torture for a lot of people. She’s hardly having a massive party with all her friends and family. So still U. Has she criticised something you’ve done in the past, OP?

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 28/05/2020 20:08

Hasn't taken long for this pandemic to cause quite a high number of people to lower their masks and reveal themselves for what they truly are.

Drop the friend. You'd be doing her a favour. Most of us can survive just fine without a judgemental busybody in our lives.

BeltaneBride · 28/05/2020 20:09

YANU /some friend...🙁

lljkk · 28/05/2020 20:09

didn't Netherlands decide that (under Lockdown) people living alone could have sex buddies who lived in other households -- due to the need for human touch. Very humane outlook.

AreYouLocal2 · 28/05/2020 20:10

Keep not talking to her, she can make space for a better friends.

MintyMabel · 28/05/2020 20:10

She dodged a bullet there. Hopefully she finds some better friends.

There’s people I know who broke the rules. I don’t agree with it but it’s their life, our numbers are coming down so clearly it hasn’t impacted how lockdown affects me. If their actions have lead to anyone contracting the virus, that’s for their conscience to deal with. I’m not about to fall out with them over it, life is too short and I’m not perfect.

SockYarn · 28/05/2020 20:10

Meh, risk is minimal. Nothing to get worked up about.

On the other hand, what are you, the self-appointed lockdown police?

Fluffybutter · 28/05/2020 20:10

None of your business .
You live with your partner but your friend isn’t so lucky.
Some people are really struggling , my ds hasn’t seen is girlfriend for 4 months and it was horrible to see how down he was , it’s only recently that he’s starting to feel a bit more positive as there seems some light at the end of the tunnel.
Stop being so judgey

HesterShaw1 · 28/05/2020 20:12

They live 20 minutes away from each other and risking things just because they miss each other

I live on my own and after about five weeks I was going out of my mind "just because we missed each other" (as well as my family, my friends, my work, my livelihood but hey - no biggie), so my boyfriend and I started seeing each other again. As far as I know no one has died because we have had the occasional shag.

And since then my depression has subsided and I am much happier. You know what? Every single one of my friends and family who I have admitted this to said "I would have done the same - knock yourself out." Christ, I'm so glad you're not my friend!

RichardMarxisinnocent · 28/05/2020 20:12

but surely people can wait just a few weeks later??

Can you please tell me how many more weeks it's going to be? The government haven't been able to, but perhaps you know something they don't.

I didn't see my boyfriend for 8 weeks, I have now seen him twice outdoors from 2 metres away. I have no idea when the rules will permit me to hug him, or kiss him or have him visit my home. I am considering breaking the rules, and I am only doing so because of the complete lack of information coming from the government. If I knew that I would be allowed to have him visit in say 3 weeks, I would probably be OK to wait.

As you live with your partner I don't think you are in a position to be judging your friend, you have no idea what lockdown is like when you can't see your partner.

PipGirl404 · 28/05/2020 20:13

I'd hate to have you as a friend.

amijustparanoidorjuststoned · 28/05/2020 20:16

@MadameMarie I'm sure most people have tried their best. Try not to worry.

highmarkingsnowbile · 28/05/2020 20:17

'Selfish', the new PA tool for busybodies who try to shame other people. Doesn't work, even on kids.

Definitely cut her loose because she deserves a better friend than you.

This lockdown's brought out the worst in all the petty, mean-spirited, wannabe Stasi bullying saddos.

Hope she comes to her senses and just ghosts hypocritical, judgemental, patronising people and deletes them from her life.

AIMD · 28/05/2020 20:17

Yea you were out of order. Firstly because going three months not seeing each other was pretty good of them. I doubt many other partners who lives separately managed that. Secondly because you felt you had the right to have a go at her for it.

My 3 and 6 year old will be back at school next week as they are I. The years that can return (I know key children have been going all along). If they can mix with a groups of kids from other households where there is little chance of social distancing then I don’t see why someone would continue not to see their 1 partner.