Anyone ever feel like a slave in their own house?

[MyMindsaBlank123]

Just this.
Spent over 3 hours this morning cleaning the house, usual stuff including hoovering, dusting, unstacking the dishwasher/restacking with dirty dishes, cleaning kitchen and bathrooms, general tidying, bed making etc. Also cleaned the oven and grill racks. Mopped floors. Had a quick lunch then straight out into the garden, spent another 3 hours of backbreaking digging/weeding and planting in clay soil, and filling/lugging 20 sacks of clay/rubble across the garden (just moved into a new build) until it can be taken to the dump.
DH cheerfully comes down from his office to ask what's for dinner. I could cheerfully have throttled him. Told him to make his own and the kids dinner. I go in after their dinner to find 1) dirty dishes left on the kitchen surfaces, not in the dishwasher which I tell them to do EVERY FUCKING DAY 2) recycling/manky yogurt pots left out, not taken to recycling area 3) dirty dishes in sink 4)dirty footprints all over the kitchen floor 5)empty food packets strewn across the kitchen 6) general untidiness and mess everywhere 7) bathroom towels chucked at the towel rail not folded over it.

Honestly, sometimes I just feel like crying, its a never ending battle and I repeat myself every day but it never sinks in. I wonder why I bother and I would go on strike but I know I could not live in a dirty/untidy house so I end up doing it anyway. I feel like a nagging witch and like a slave in my own house. Anyone else ever feel like this?

I would just go on strike till it hits home every one has to help out simple

I have a toddler, a baby and a working from home husband. I'm ready to smash my face into a wall .Praise be nursery is back on Monday!

YANBU - it sounds like part of the problem is DH is not role-modelling the right behaviours for your kids. If they see him just letting you do it all, they'll do the same.

Do you think he realises how much you're actually doing though? Serious question. Because a lot of this stuff can go by unappreciated until you sit down and break it down for them. Maybe you could try a family meeting to discuss it - your kids are definitely old enough to pitch in. One of my friends sent me this quiz thing and I used it to have a conversation with my partner about what's actually happening (I do way to much and he just "doesn't see mess" it's infuriating) - could help perhaps? quiz.thirdshift.co.uk - you and you partner could try filling it out and compare results to see if they're different, and then you can work out if the way it is currently is fair - and if it's setting the right example for your kids (in him not doing enough plus contributing to the problem)?

You aren’t alone! It’s the same for me. I’ve cleaned and cleaned and they wonder why I snap and get pissed when I am tired of asking for help but getting NO RESPONSE whatsoever! I’ve cleaned the entire house and done a ton of work and feel like all I am is a damn maid and never thought of. Don’t worry, you’re not alone. I used to not mind helping and cleaning and cooking etc. but when I have had a bad day and have even MENTIONED I am tired and have already had many meltdowns myself, I’m still not thought of. I’m exhausted and tired and just annoyed with it all.

@UnhappyHousemaid2023 this thread is from 2020. I think the conversation was closed.

I totally agree it is a lack of respect. In our house respect is supposed to be a two way street, I give it therefore I expect to get it. Unfortunately yes, at 12 and 13 year your girls have been allowed to get away with bad behaviour for way too long but now you have a choice, shrug and say “too late” or take steps to address it. I would firstly have a conversation with your DH and tell him things need to change, then presenting a united front you sit down with the kids and tell them what is expected from them from now on and the consequences that will result from non-compliance. You know best what your kids value, for some it is screen time, maybe it is pocket money or your willingness to give lifts to friends’ houses or have their friends at your place. All those things can stop. It won’t be an easy process but if you don’t do it now things will never change.

I am married....we don't live together because he was being unreasonable helping with bills etc....I work bring up our 3 children and he does nothing! And I mean nothing! I have had the worst year of my life....u would not believe me if I said...my mother battles cancer ....my dad got sick we cared for and we lost my father....at home with us. In between doing this...caring for my parents....working....running my house...cooking cleaning etc....I literally felt like no1 actually cares I am physically and emotionally drained! I had afternoon to my self today....husband picked me up took me to his friend's 1st thing they say is How's things I explained I care for my mum go home around 8.30 pm cook food for kids clean whole house go bed 12.30 is then up for work at 6am to do it all again! She asked if hubby helps I said no he watches tv he looked at him and said how old are kids? He answered and he said I wouldn't help either! Well I left bare in mind he has a supportive wife who helps ! I have practically ran everything snd bringing up kids alone! 1 suffers with autism another with younger mental age and I'm tired exhausted mentally and physically drained! If kids won't do something he won't either ! But it's OK for me to work , do it all and care and deal with everything else! I have got to the point where I have ended my marriage! Left my house with all the kids mess and give up I really feel like I cannot do everything anymore! My legs ache I have blood in my stools swollen painful stomache and I just haven't had the time to attend doctors surgery no1 understands no1 cares and I feel like a slave 😪 and not 5 mins for myself.

'emmalina555' did you realise that this is an old thread?

However in saying that, you do sound at the end of your tether, so let me tell you here and now that I, a complete stranger, DO CARE!

One thing I don't understand is why, when you say you have no time to yourself, and that you don't live with your 'H', did you waste an afternoon seeing him and going to see his friends, when you should have been sorting out your health problems?

It sounds like your first priority should be to get yourself to the doctor and get the blood in your stools and painful stomach investigated as a matter of URGENCY! Sod all the rest of your ungrateful family for once, just get to the doctors with an EMERGENCY appointment a.s.a.p.

Can I ask how old your children are please, as without knowing this it's hard to advise you further, but I would like to help if I can, so do please come back or PM me if you prefer.

Sending a big hug to show you that someone out here really does care about a stranger at the end of their tether.

You choice this life.