OH wants me to pay for everything while he saves

[Moanyoldbugger]

I'm still getting paid from work and Selling press on nails as I'm a part time nail tech.OH is self employed so managed to get the grant for 1k. I have been paying for everything he has paid for the odd shop. He has his own savings with more in than mine. His grant is due in next week and he said the money is going straight in the savings and he's not spending it.

I'm starting to get pissed of and starting to hate him i have a lousy £300 in my savings. I brought the kids new clothes new car seats as they are things they desperately needed. He's going on about his birthday constantly and saying "I better get something good"

He wants me to pay for everything because I earn more but I've had enough!!

AIBU?

[schoolsoutforcovid]

"He is not getting a grand more like 10k"

Pretty sure it was capped at £7500.

I'd be leaving him op. Doesn't sound like he's bringing anything to the table.

Your "business" isn't Color Street or similar though is it? 😬 otherwise you might want to think about other sources of income

[B1rdbra1n]

I do wish people would stop calling him a cocklodger
the set-up with a cocklodger is that they provide you with enjoyable sex and in return they expect free board and lodging
This man does not provide the sex
The word for him is freeloader imo

[IsolatedIzzy]

It's financial abuse, that's what it is! Is he controlling in other ways OP? You need to start making plans to leave him at the earliest opportunity!

And then as a taxpayer this makes me rage! These SE grants and employment retention schemes are being paid to help people survive the lockdown and this wanker is adding it to his savings! Ffs!

[chunkyrun]

This is so sad, your meant to be a team

[BumbleBeee69]

this is awful OP..

[WinterAndRoughWeather]

schoolsout what’s Color Street? MLM?

[trappedsincesundaymorn]

I'd buy him a good present.....a suitcase with all his stuff in, left by the front door.

[SpringSpringTime]

I'm very excited for you to leave this useless man!

Sounds like you've worked it out, well done - there are so many threads on here like this with women who have their heads stuck much more firmly in the sand.

Good luck with everything. You sound like you've got it sorted. You're going to be fine.

[Teenangels]

My partner owns a scaffolding company and has been back at work for the last 2 weeks!

He is seriously saying that any grant he gets is going into his savings.

You need to get rid or tell him that you are not going to carry him, if he does not like it then he knows where the door is.

[justasking111]

A new housing development in Wales, scaffolders have been flat out all week, amazing how quickly it is going up. Your OH is turning down work I suspect, because our laws more draconian than England.

[ScarfLadysBag]

Sounds like he's been diddling his books if he was entitled to such a small grant. That's not a living wage, it's like £400/500 a month

[gamerchick]

Is the house owned or rented?

Just stop. Give him half of what you're paying and tell him he needs to stump up the rest. What's he going to do?

[Devlesko]

It's up to you but I wouldn't be putting up with this, it's hardly a partnership.

[Billben]

He's going on about his birthday constantly and saying "I better get something good"

Jesus, who even says such a thing 🙄

[Drag0nflye]

He sounds like a complete moron. Leave him. Get some savings behind you over the next few months so you can put down a deposit on a rental property then move out with your kids. You deserve so much better! Also you have a lucrative, growing and successful business - you’ll be way better off on your own enjoying your own success and finding a new man who values you, not some complete melon head.

[AlwaysCheddar]

What a dick! Leave him!!!

[AcrossthePond55]

He's going on about his birthday constantly and saying "I better get something good

I'd give him something good.....divorce papers.

[BlueGreenYellowRed]

Joint finances would be simpler.

[Drag0nflye]

@AcrossthePond55

He's going on about his birthday constantly and saying "I better get something good

I'd give him something good.....divorce papers.

Hahaha. THIS. Please do this OP!

[MulticolourMophead]

@ScarfLadysBag

Sounds like he's been diddling his books if he was entitled to such a small grant. That's not a living wage, it's like £400/500 a month

Seems a lot of people are finding this coming back to haunt them right now

Not that I'm grinning at the OP, of course, but in some cases I know of, it's poetic justice.

[cyclingmad]

Well I'd be a bit smart n not alert him to too much.

Definitely play detective so you have all the information you need on his finances.

I would stop paying bills dont say you need to save the loney just say sorry I had to rein est money into stock etc to build the business more to bring in more money.

Then never go back to paying the bills again or if you have to demand to see the statements and only pay half.

Make him look after the kids completely since your the only one working.

And unless he puts your name on the house dont contribute to his mortgage

[Bibijayne]

Tell him he needs to lay half of it into the family coffers. Or kick him out.

[Queenoftheashes]

LTB or ideally kill him and take his stupid 1k.

[momtoboys]

Did I miss the answer as to whether or not the kids are his? The question has been asked a few times and ignored repeatedly.

[Durgasarrow]

My vagina has turned into a veritable Sahara just reading about this poor excuse for a male.