You tube influencer "rehomes" adopted son

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Myka Stauffer a popular YouTube and Instagram influencer raised considerable funds to adopt a child from China, the child a boy she called Huxley had brain damage, non verbal autism and behavioural difficulties. Myka has 4 biological children and adopted 4 year Huxley 18 months ago.

After quite some time of not posting anything about him and after repeated questions from her "followers" she recently uploaded a video where in her words she's "rehomed him" and he was with people much more able and suited to deal with his complex needs.

The main issue people have is the money she raised for his adoption and the secrecy regarding this at one point one of her followers noticed that she had put a video up of her repainting his room and turning it into her daughters room with no mention of him.

Apparently it was like she wanted people to forgot she has ever adopted him and people are furious.

I can see both sides as it must have been a complex and difficult decision especially if they couldn't meet his needs. She had to consider her other children... one a small baby but on the other hand she wasn't very transparent about it...

Also there are allegations of her using duct tape on his hands and I have seen a video of her mocking him because of his meltdowns so hopefully he is now with people more suited to his needs.

Thoughts?

I watched about 30 seconds of her announcement on YouTube about how hard this has been for her and her grateful she is to so many of her followers, who have been so amazing and supportive throughout this difficult time for her.

It was so false and self centred. Neither of them looked even remotely sad that it had not worked out. I also loved the irony over how they wanted to maintain his privacy.

Adoption breakdown is sadly more common than most people would like to think - but hopefully in this country that is the extreme end of the scale, and decisions are taken in the best interests of the child, not treating them as a commodity.

Adoption in the US is another matter entirely, as is international adoption. Put the two together and you have something not far off human trafficking. Families barely assessed - they're american so they must be better than the places these children come from. Huge song and dance about how wonderful these white saviours are. Enormous families of 10+ adopted children. Adopted children reminded publically every day of how lucky they are to have been adopted and to be treated like they're real children. Competative piety - adopting a third world child makes me a better Christian than you. Industries created in other countries where children are 'given up', or records falsified to say their parents have died when they haven't. I'm sure there are genuine adopters who want to help, but the industry is utterly disgusting - this is just a tiny insight in to that world.

I think this is the post a few people have metioned......

Everyone here is so full of hate. Ok so she earned money on YouTube while going into the adoption process. That doesn't mean that was her objective for going into the adoption. Have any of you actually follower her on YouTube or seen any YouTube videos of hers previous to this? From what I can tell she is a great mum and her homeschooling videos really helped me. What ever happened she felt she was unable to help her adoptive son and she realised she couldn't cope. Instead of carrying on and the whole family struggling and suffering she decided to give him to some one who was better able to raise him. I really don't see the reason to hate this woman. She tried her best and she didn't realise at the outset it would be as hard as it was. Don't we all go into things Sometimes and things fail ? Should she have carried on raising him even though she was not coping? I think she needs support and understanding rather than judgement and hatred. This kind witch hunt is what leads people to commit suicide.

Jesus fucking Christ, I’ve heard it all now.

Jesus wept.

Nonsense spinakker absolute nonsense but you carry on with your support they need all the support they can ! Incidentally did you donate to their adoptachinese toddler fund

That poor child.

AMostExcellentStick interesting and concerning post. Throw YouTube / IG and monetisation into the mix where nothing but applaud will be found and it is a heady mix.

Wonder if Louis Theroux has done his mild mannered thing on it, sounds up his street.

Oh gosh. I follow this family. The Stauffer Life. They said they spend a lot of money on his care and he was making good progress. I've just checked the channel and everything is deleted!
I think it's really unfortunate the way many American YouTubers treat international adoption.

Spinakker that's all great that you're so worried about this lady and her husband. Personally I'm more worried about the lifelong affect on her birth children who woke up one morning to find their brother had been rehomed for being difficult and the affect of Huxley who is now in yet anothet new environment removed from his family and siblings and wondering when he will be sent away again.

No I didn't donate and don't necessarily agree with the fund, but I think everyone is judging the family harshly. They weren't able to cope with their child. Its a sad situation but I don't see the reason to attack the parents now. Its not like they abused their son, they have him to someone who was better able to care for him.

Spinnaker I have a severely disabled biological child sometimes I feel.I can't cope but I carry on because he's my child who I love ,parents of disabled children are no different to other parents disability affects all of us but most parents don't just abandon their children .

If it is true it is terrible. She bought a child, then decided he was too much trouble so she 'rehomed him' as though he was an animal not a human being!

On the “rehoming” this might also be US language for adoption breakdown, to be fair - rather than her seeing him as equivalent to an animal.

Its not like they abused their son

Have you seen the video where they duck taped their sons thumb, to try to stop him comforting himself.

My thoughts are the people who sent her money did so to help this kid get a better life. Hopefully he is getting that now.

'Minor or relatively easy to manage' special needs that 'most people wouldn't consider easy...'

Interesting requirements.

She home schooled for a few months no more than a year her eldest child is 8 the rest are under 6 so basically she was "homeschooling " preschoolers . 🤔

We do not know, can people not understand that children can be removed from the family biological and adoptive for many reason. DS2 has been removed from school places, respite and the only reason we have coped at home to date is that his siblings are older. From the age of 5/6 he was and still is a danger to small children. He may now be with a family with no children, thankfully we may never know to protect his privacy. These people maybe complete arseholes but we need parents/carers to feel safe to admit they cannot cope.

How does one re-home a child? Bizarre. I don't follow influencers. Never heard of her, don't think much of her after reading this. Hope a loving home is found for the child.

In the next ten years or so the first generation of children from these very profitable influencer families will reach adulthood, and I will be really interested to see how many of them sue their families for monetising their childhoods when they were of an age when they could not consent.

Boulshired - completely agree with you.

I don't know the family but have just heard various things in the news. Are they religious by any chance? I remember reading quite a few blogs years ago by quite religious Americans who got a "calling" to adopt internationally and loads of these broke down because the child wasn't grateful enough or they felt the devil was in the child It was all taken very lightly.

They should never have been allowed to adopt (esp a child with such complex needs) in the first place. I really hope the little boy is in a family where they can dedicate their time and focus on him.

Adoption breakdowns are not that uncommon unfortunately. Sometimes just love is not enough and the child might be able to thrive in a more suitable family. I don't know who this family is but I hope they didn't go lightly into the adoption process just thinking that love and goodwill would see them through.

I think this is more about issues with international adoption than anything else.

Sounds like she should never have been cleared.

Adoption breakdowns can and do happen.