You tube influencer "rehomes" adopted son

[quizacabusi81]

Myka Stauffer a popular YouTube and Instagram influencer raised considerable funds to adopt a child from China, the child a boy she called Huxley had brain damage, non verbal autism and behavioural difficulties. Myka has 4 biological children and adopted 4 year Huxley 18 months ago.

After quite some time of not posting anything about him and after repeated questions from her "followers" she recently uploaded a video where in her words she's "rehomed him" and he was with people much more able and suited to deal with his complex needs.

The main issue people have is the money she raised for his adoption and the secrecy regarding this at one point one of her followers noticed that she had put a video up of her repainting his room and turning it into her daughters room with no mention of him.

Apparently it was like she wanted people to forgot she has ever adopted him and people are furious.

I can see both sides as it must have been a complex and difficult decision especially if they couldn't meet his needs. She had to consider her other children... one a small baby but on the other hand she wasn't very transparent about it...

Also there are allegations of her using duct tape on his hands and I have seen a video of her mocking him because of his meltdowns so hopefully he is now with people more suited to his needs.

Thoughts?

sandie I wouldn't suggest that. If you read my posts, you will see that I agree with you re private arrangements to re-home children. I think they're appalling. I don't know, but I'm not assuming that's what has happened and I think it probably wasn't, but I don't know. Any adoption agency willing to give this family the green light to adopt cannot be trusted to admit they're involvement now.

She needs to give back all the money she made, either to the people who donated it or donate it to the home he was originally from.
She needs to be banned from YouTube and social media. She could probably make money now by talking about her side of it. Disgusting bitch.

She’s vile.

Hi
Does anyone here have experience with adopting a baby that has been exposed to drugs and alcohol and domestic violence in utero?
I have the most amazing beautiful 18 month old, clever , funny, meeting all milestones ahead of time. But he DOES NOT SLEEP. He will sleep for a couple of hours at the beginning of the night and then be up for at least 4/5 hours, completely wide awake, and often becoming extremely distressed, until he collapses with exhaustion and may get another hour or two before he’s up for the day. I have read that this is not unusual in drug exposed babies. I just want to know if there is anything that helps? Is there light at the end of the tunnel? Does this ever change. I’m EXHAUSTED . I’m a single parent and cannot continue on 2 hours of sleep a night, while trying to manage his distress. I’m not exaggerating when I say NOTHING works when he is in this state. I know all the basics, have a routine, low simulation before bedtime, appropriate diet etc. It would be good to hear from anyone else in a similar situation and how you manage? Thank you

@MehrsMama I think you will get more responses if you started your own thread in the parenting section as this is discussing a SM person

Oh sorry I thought that’s what I’d done! This is the first time using this and I have no idea how to start a new post 😂

@MehrsMama, there’s an adoption board where you might get more expert and sympathetic advice.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/adoptions

To start a new thread at the top of the page there’s a ‘Start a new thread in this topic’ link.

Thank you!

@MehrsMama
Yes, definitely the adoption board.

And try this just so you know you’re not alone.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/922821-drug-dependant-baby-advice-needed

I just wonder why anyone follows these self-styled ‘influencers’. How arrogant, conceited and self-obsessed they must be to think that their ‘influence’ is going to benefit anybody.

As for ‘rehoming’ a child, words almost fail me. I dare say she only did it because it would bump up her oh-so-caring image and increase her following, plus of course the $$ she was going to make. (I’m assuming she’s American, feel free to correct if I’m wrong.)

ZOMBIE THREAD!!!

Awful, unspeakable thing to do.
Adopted children naturally have many issues even if “
Neurotypical”, like attachment issues.
A four year old will have been through much trauma, and this woman has just added to it☹️

Sadly people adopt internationally when they can’t adopt at home- and have heard of the children “
Being abandoned “ by these whim adopters.

Early years are so crucial in children, much damage can be done by such a callous disregard for their well-being and emotional stability.

International adoptions should be rigorous and parents vetted harder than they seem to be at present.

@oakleaffy

Awful, unspeakable thing to do. Adopted children naturally have many issues even if “ Neurotypical”, like attachment issues. A four year old will have been through much trauma, and this woman has just added to it☹️

Sadly people adopt internationally when they can’t adopt at home- and have heard of the children “
Being abandoned “ by these whim adopters.

Early years are so crucial in children, much damage can be done by such a callous disregard for their well-being and emotional stability.

International adoptions should be rigorous and parents vetted harder than they seem to be at present.

This is a zombie thread which was accidentally revived by a new poster posting in the wrong place, but on your point about international adopters adopting from abroad when they can't at home -- that may well be true of some countries, but in the UK, you go through exactly the same suitability checks and processes as you would if you were adopting a child from here.

@Robbybobtail

ZOMBIE THREAD!!!

The drug dependent baby link had a wonderful foster mother who gave much sage advice.

Tragically this wonderful foster mother died.

Zombie it may be, but the problems are still relevant, sadly, and lessons should be learned.

@Bailegangaire
I hope this is the case re. Strict vetting.
The children deserve it.

@MehrsMama there is a poster on MN who is a foster parent and she specialises in babies who are withdrawing I don’t know her username but check on fostering threads.

Thank you

I think these people underestimate how hard a child with additional needs can be. She should have consider that a lot more before going ahead. The poor boy the hurt and upset this must have caused him. I’m sure it’s hard enough accepting your biological parents have given you up for adoption but then for your adopted mum to do it too. Heartbreaking.

@B1rdbra1n

'rehomed'😲 I suppose he's lucky she didn't have him 'put to sleep'

Appalling woman. Just disgusting. I don't think there are two sides really, she dishonestly raises funds simply to gain kudos, then discards an actual child as if he were a dog. She should be shunned.

I know it's a Zombie but I'll bite: she hasn't posted to her Youtube account in 8 months (18 years in Social Influencer years) so it would seem the criticism has got to her.

[quote Mamette]@MehrsMama there is a poster on MN who is a foster parent and she specialises in babies who are withdrawing I don’t know her username but check on fostering threads.[/quote]
The wonderful woman of whom you speak sadly died.

She had been ill.

But her deep understanding and care for the babies she nurtured would have been a shining light in their lives.

💕

Aaaaand her website is down. And no Insta since June 2020.

@Butchyrestingface

I know it's a Zombie but I'll bite: she hasn't posted to her Youtube account in 8 months (18 years in Social Influencer years) so it would seem the criticism has got to her.

Gawd...../I followed the link and she seems an appallingly vacuous woman who said {clutching chest while looking Heavenwards}

''I was so empathetic, and so compassionate''......... but none of these kid's photos grab me... {Boak}

The woman you see here initially is NOT her, but discussing her ways.

I've just watched the video posted by @SugarbabyMilly (thanks) and am utterly appalled. Narcissist adult and vulnerable child - poor, poor kid.