You tube influencer "rehomes" adopted son

[quizacabusi81]

Myka Stauffer a popular YouTube and Instagram influencer raised considerable funds to adopt a child from China, the child a boy she called Huxley had brain damage, non verbal autism and behavioural difficulties. Myka has 4 biological children and adopted 4 year Huxley 18 months ago.

After quite some time of not posting anything about him and after repeated questions from her "followers" she recently uploaded a video where in her words she's "rehomed him" and he was with people much more able and suited to deal with his complex needs.

The main issue people have is the money she raised for his adoption and the secrecy regarding this at one point one of her followers noticed that she had put a video up of her repainting his room and turning it into her daughters room with no mention of him.

Apparently it was like she wanted people to forgot she has ever adopted him and people are furious.

I can see both sides as it must have been a complex and difficult decision especially if they couldn't meet his needs. She had to consider her other children... one a small baby but on the other hand she wasn't very transparent about it...

Also there are allegations of her using duct tape on his hands and I have seen a video of her mocking him because of his meltdowns so hopefully he is now with people more suited to his needs.

Thoughts?

@Lordfrontpaw

What like when people want to sell furniture or swap council home tenancies?

In many states informal custody swaps are totally legal and you’re not required to inform social services or any authority. You just find another family and hand the kid over, and that’s the end of it.

Im on my phone can't do a link but I've read An article that a lot of the sponsors. Have dropped her like a hot potato.

In many states informal custody swaps are totally legal and you’re not required to inform social services or any authority. You just find another family and hand the kid over, and that’s the end of it.

Fucking hell...that is monstrous.

Yes LordFrontPaw, exactly that.
www.reuters.com/investigates/adoption/#article/part1

Click along the top to each separate section of the article.

Re the duct taping the thumb we were advised to do this by DDs orthodontist.

@1forsorrow I am an adult finger sucker & am still bandaid taping my fingers in a futile attempt to break the habit in my mid-30s

Am wondering why it was so important for them to break this habit for him now...he was young enough that it could still look ‘cute’ and too young to affect his adult teeth, so while the duct taping doesn’t bother me as a technique to stop sucking, wonder why they were tackling that seemingly mild behavioural issue now? When he supposedly had all these other awful behaviours they weren’t showing viewers.

It was his comfort, poor little boy.

@1forsorrow

Re the duct taping the thumb we were advised to do this by DDs orthodontist.

Orthodontists aren’t well known for their expertise in traumatised children though.

Am wondering why it was so important for them to break this habit for him now...

The ABA therapists probably insisted on it.

ABA is extremely controversial. Adult autistics who have experienced it liken it to dog training a child out of all their fundamental autistic behaviours (forcing eye contact etc). It sounds incredibly cruel.

Failed adoptions are more common than people realise.

Did they not think the thumb sucking might be a sensory thing? My severely autistic son sucked a dummy until he was nearly five and he always wrapped something around the teat bit ,he just threw it across the bedroom one night and never wanted it again but I ws,it going to take it off him as it clearly comforted him.

Orthodontists aren’t well known for their expertise in traumatised children though. I didn't say they were but it is quite a common thing for medical professionals to suggest so I don't think it is fair to make out they were sadists for doing that.

In my DD's case it contributed to a jaw deformity which ended up in very unpleasant surgery with her jaw being broken and plates used to correct it, it was possible that if we'd been able to stop the thumb sucking she'd have avoided the surgery. Sometimes we do things that aren't nice but that is for a child's benefit e.g. vaccinations, patching eyes that sort of thing.

@vikingwife it is a hard habit to break isn't it. A friend told me once she was in a lecture at university and gradually everyone turned to look at her as the lecturer was staring at her sucking her thumb. I don't think she's ever completely kicked the habit.

sandie The one they mention in their vlog when they explain why they did what they did.

The private swapping of children among adopters is horrific. If that's what they did, they have told a completely different story on their vlog. I have no reason not to believe they have allowed an agency (who would have a pool of more appropriate prospective adoptive parents to draw from) to facilitate this. There is a vlog by a different person (a young, opinionated newly graduated social worker) who didn't seem to have listened to their actual vlog very well. I'm not condoning what they've done but she has really twisted it.

I watched a couple of episodes of this channel when they adopted him and within a week or two of bringing him home he had some sort of plastic guard fitted on his thumb to stop him sucking it, on the advice of a dentist. I remember thinking that it was unspeakably cruel, to take away something that was giving him comfort at a time when he was probably very traumatised. His teeth may have been being damaged but he had years ahead of him to sort that out. At the same time her eldest child was also sucking her thumb with no tape or guard fitted.

@boreofwhabylon that Reuters article is horrific. How is this allowed to happen.

To begin with I felt a bit conflicted, maybe open to being sorry for her, because my son has a spectrum disorder and it is not easy, but her fake crying, omg

Also, in some of her messages she talks about all the kindness she's received, and all the cruelty. Really polarising. If you have any negative thought, any question, she's filing YOU under cruel. Ha!

The thing that makes me have absolutely no sympathy for the family and be furious at the adoption agency is the post she made which asked which special needs you would consider manageable that others would think was difficult. It's so clear that they just wanted a cute baby for their aesthetic. I have no doubt that they believed at the time they were doing a good thing but they were hideously naive about the realities of caring for a child with any kind of special need, let alone complex needs on top of caring for their other children!
I am absolutely disgusted. But what I find more worrying is the way these parents are glorified by many sections in American society. Many churches preach adoption as a gopsel call that you should prayerfully consider--adopting black or Asian babies is a very visual sign that you are "Godly" and it is a massive problem. Not even getting started on how problematic overseas adoptions are because often the children aren't even orphans and have been sold by desperate parents, or at worse kidnapped!

I know Windsor. It's just awful.

I stuck up for her even though I have a son with sn who you would have to prise from my cold dead's hands to give up despite his challenges but to want to adopt again but one that is manageable .. it is beyond belief and words !! ( walks away shaking head !!)

That post just shows how ignorant she is @Geauxtigers, the spectrum of disabilities are huge and I only becomes apparent as the child gets older how their disability affects them my own child has autism and severe learning disabilities ,autism is so complex and it affects individuals so differently and wha kind of disability would she consider manageable .

Her glaringly obvious and very malign hero complex should disqualify her from any future adoption.

Oh fucking hell, she’s shopping for another one already?!

One that people will ‘think is hard work’ but won’t actually be.

What a pair of atrocious cunts.

I wouldn’t trust her with a pot plant.

[quote BoreOfWhabylon]Yes LordFrontPaw, exactly that.
www.reuters.com/investigates/adoption/#article/part1[/quote]
absolutely horrendous