You tube influencer "rehomes" adopted son

[quizacabusi81]

Myka Stauffer a popular YouTube and Instagram influencer raised considerable funds to adopt a child from China, the child a boy she called Huxley had brain damage, non verbal autism and behavioural difficulties. Myka has 4 biological children and adopted 4 year Huxley 18 months ago.

After quite some time of not posting anything about him and after repeated questions from her "followers" she recently uploaded a video where in her words she's "rehomed him" and he was with people much more able and suited to deal with his complex needs.

The main issue people have is the money she raised for his adoption and the secrecy regarding this at one point one of her followers noticed that she had put a video up of her repainting his room and turning it into her daughters room with no mention of him.

Apparently it was like she wanted people to forgot she has ever adopted him and people are furious.

I can see both sides as it must have been a complex and difficult decision especially if they couldn't meet his needs. She had to consider her other children... one a small baby but on the other hand she wasn't very transparent about it...

Also there are allegations of her using duct tape on his hands and I have seen a video of her mocking him because of his meltdowns so hopefully he is now with people more suited to his needs.

Thoughts?

Nobody should ever be judged for an adoption placement breaking down. Without knowing any details or who this person is, the fault is clearly with the social work process that allowed the placement to take place as it doesn't sound like it was suitable to begin with.

I don't know this family so can't comment with authority.

BUT, what I DO know is that all children, particularly adopted/fostered children need privacy. I am pretty sure this could not happen in England or Wales as Social Services would ensure that there is not an online presence of a child.
When you can't take photos at a nativity, or can't film at Sports Day, this is why.

Also - I hope the family are fully investigated.
Children as entertainment is not desirable.

Im so sad about this cannot stop thinking about thsi little boy i have a non verbal autistic toddler and it just breaks my heart looking at her. The poor little boy, i think they truly r scum.

Have you got a link to the video she explains this in please? Looked on her Instagram & cant see anything.

This story has been bothering me all day! I feel for that little boy. That picture of her holding him while he's sucking his thumb kills me. Especially when I see that other photo of his poor little thumb taped up. I think it's a horrible situation all around. It may very well be in his best interests and if that's the case then she handled it the worst way possible by being so secretive. They live their whole lives splashed all over social media (which I don't agree with but anyways)... if you are going to live you life like that then this shows just how truly FAKE everything was that they have been posting about their "happy family". She could have advocated for him, been his champion, brought in outside help, appealed to her viewers for support, opened up a very honest conversation about how difficult it is to raise a special needs child but also shared the rewards he brings to their lives. Instead she painted over his walls and continued on with her "Instagram-worthy" family. I sincerely hopes she disappears from the social media world now that she has been exposed as a weak & heartless fraud. And I really hope that Huxley is in a loving and supportive home where he can suck his thumb and cuddle with his new parents all he wants without an iPhone shoved in his face every second of the day.

Also, every cent that was earned from his videos should be put in a trust fund for him or given to his new family towards his care.

Sky News
Myka Stauffer: YouTuber addresses 'hurtful' comments after revealing adopted son from China has gone to a new home

7 hours ago

Ah it isn't a clicky link sorry I did it wrong I'll try again

She could have advocated for him, been his champion, brought in outside help, appealed to her viewers for support, opened up a very honest conversation about how difficult it is to raise a special needs child but also shared the rewards he brings to their lives. Instead she painted over his walls and continued on with her "Instagram-worthy" family.

This is so true. It could have been a huge teaching moment, a way to help educate people about the struggles of those with additional needs.

I totally agree yellow.

I have little judgement when adoptions break down especially when parents are struggling to cope.

It's the money making and fakery that bothers me.

It must have been an incredibly hard decision not least because she tries to promote a perfect family life on social media and gets paid very highly for this, she must have know that her popularity would decline. She should in my opinion have taken the time to reflect and "mourn" almost and given her children time away from the cameras and the limelight.

I used to subscribe to Myka's channel. I seem to remember her crowdfunding to go get Huxley? Then showing their meeting, bringing him home, all of it was out there for the world to see. But what makes their situation completely unforgivable for me was that they didn't say anything about problems, just one day he wasn't in videos anymore and then his bedroom was redecorated to be one of the girls'. They just tried to gaslight it out. It was insane. I guess enough people kept asking about him for them to finally address the elephant in the room.

But they adopted him knowing that he had special needs. They already had 3 children when they adopted, then they chose to have another baby after adopting Huxley. I'm not really sure what they were thinking but it doesn't appear that they took the process very seriously, bringing another baby into the equation (planned).

That poor little boy. I remember watching their ‘Gotcha Day’ (their words) video at the time. I don’t follow them but as a foster carer I quite like watching stuff about adoption and fostering and I think it popped up as a recommended video. I remember thinking at the time that they should never have adopted a child who was so close in age to their biological child. They went from having one baby at home to having two babies. Both babies are going to push for attention, biological because he’s used to getting it as the baby, and adopted because he’s in a foreign country and needs to attach to his new caregivers. So who are they going to give the attention to? Someone’s going to miss out. And the two older girls don’t look that much older than him either. It shouldn’t have been allowed, and they were silly to think it was in the best interests of any of those children. And then they went and threw another baby into the mix.

I’ve since rewatched that video and other things struck me. The filming focused on her doing her hair and makeup, in a very precise way. And had her dressed up in a figure hugging black dress that really wasn’t practical for getting down on the floor and playing with a toddler, which surely she would have been expecting to do on that day. She seemed very image focussed. And he came towards them that day sucking his thumb. It was clearly what he used to self comfort so surely she wouldn’t be so cruel as to force him to stop doing it at such a young age?

I’ve also watched a few more of their YouTube videos today and everything with her seems to be about appearance and having things ‘perfect.’ Perfect hair, perfect make up, perfect house, perfect diet. So...perfect children? One video showed all the things she was focusing on teaching Huxley. His understanding of phrases, flash cards of objects, sign language, therapy to help with his autistic traits. In lots of ways that was very admirable of her but it was very intense. Did he need to learn 6 new signs every day? Plus everything else she was trying to do with him? The video I saw with her actually doing the teaching showed him to be very sweet and very biddable so either she originally tried not to show the ‘bad’ behaviour that he had most of the time, or actually most of the time he wasn’t as ‘bad’ as she’s now trying to make out.

One video I saw, when he hadn’t been home long, was of her morning routine. As a mother of four she stated that she had time when she woke up to relax in bed and catch up on social media/news and then get dressed and do her makeup. Well, what were the kids doing then? All 4 kids get up later than her? Then a good bit of the morning was to do with tidying the spotless home. It showed her and the kids tidying the playroom. At one point Huxley is stroking her hair and she totally ignores him to keep putting toys away. I know that’s just a small snapshot in their lives but it does make you wonder if her priorities were different to other people’s.

To me, she gave the impression of wanting everything to be ‘perfect’ and maybe Huxley didn’t fit into that image.

I could be way off the mark though and he could have behaviour that for honourable reasons she tried not to show in the videos. But in my opinion, with the ages of children they already had, that family should not have adopted Huxley in the first place.

@Pinkblueberry

This is disgusting - you don’t ‘rehome’ your child. Would she have done this with one of her biological children?? Whether adopted or biological - it’s YOUR child. How absolutely vile.

So you'd say that a woman who is unable to cope with her severely disabled child and subsequently relinquishes them is vile would you?

You nasty piece of work, you haven't got a fucking clue have you?

...therapy to help with his autistic traits. In lots of ways that was very admirable of her but it was very intense. Did he need to learn 6 new signs every day?

Absolutely, even more to be honest.

Russia banned adoptions to the US in 2013

That ban was in retaliation for the Magnitsky Act, a 2012 sanction on Russia by USA for human rights violations. Nothing to do with USA adoption practices.

I can't comment on the YouTuber. I just wanted to say that from an American perspective, lots of things about British adoption look very inhumane and ridiculously over-bureauratic. We have quite a bit of American family experience of adoption (both giving up & as adopters). Be careful of glass walls when you throw stones.

Without a Crystal Ball on youtube is spilling tea...

I understand that adoptions aren't always happy endings, that things don't often work out the way that adoptive parents/adoptees hope and that, whilst heartbreaking, it is in fact the responsible decision to relinquish a child if you are unable to care for them and their needs.

Having said that, I STRONGLY feel that is not what has happened here.
Myka Stauffer and her husband adopted a little boy from China knowing that he had special needs, knowing that it would be complicated/stressful and a difficult process. They knew this. They also tore him out of a very committed and loving foster family in China.They took all of their children to China to collect him without a care or thought of how overwhelming this would be for him. They made no effort to learn his language or culture, they changed his name.

Upon bringing him to the US they moved home, got dogs, had another baby, all whilst poor little Huxley was trying to come to terms with the trauma he had endured.

Even though they are very wealthy, there is video of Myka gleefully explaining that they are getting a budget speech therapist rather than an expensive one, with a six thousand dollar Cartier bracelet on her wrist (probably paid for with he fortune they made from exploiting Huxley)

There are numerous videos of Myka being resentful of Huxley at best, emotionally abusive at worst. There is a video of them taking him to a parade (a boy with sensory issues, and autism - to a parade) and getting frustrated with his distress she says "are you done, are you over yourself?" He was two. They duct taped his little hands so he wouldn't suck his thumbs.

Around the same time they gave Huxley away they went on a month long holiday to Bali and literally started to delete content he was in, airbrushing him out of their lives.

The entire thing is sickening and I really feel there needs to be some consequences for this. They should at least be made to pay any money they earned through exploiting him into a trust fund for his future care. They need the book thrown at them or this is going to happen again with some other youtube family. Glorified child trafficking.

@Beebityboo we've been watching the same video! The Bali trip is shocking. A month long holiday looking so happy and a new bedroom for a bio daughter, without mentioning where the missing child is! I understand if Huxley is in foster care that they can't say too much about him now but they could have mentioned that he was no longer with them?

I just hope this doesn't disrupt any pending adoptions for loving, committed parents who are nearly through the process. A similar situation happened with a US woman and a Russian child a few years ago and many adoptions fell through as a result.

I have no words.

I have no words either these selfish vacuous idiots are a disgrace to humanity