You tube influencer "rehomes" adopted son

[quizacabusi81]

Myka Stauffer a popular YouTube and Instagram influencer raised considerable funds to adopt a child from China, the child a boy she called Huxley had brain damage, non verbal autism and behavioural difficulties. Myka has 4 biological children and adopted 4 year Huxley 18 months ago.

After quite some time of not posting anything about him and after repeated questions from her "followers" she recently uploaded a video where in her words she's "rehomed him" and he was with people much more able and suited to deal with his complex needs.

The main issue people have is the money she raised for his adoption and the secrecy regarding this at one point one of her followers noticed that she had put a video up of her repainting his room and turning it into her daughters room with no mention of him.

Apparently it was like she wanted people to forgot she has ever adopted him and people are furious.

I can see both sides as it must have been a complex and difficult decision especially if they couldn't meet his needs. She had to consider her other children... one a small baby but on the other hand she wasn't very transparent about it...

Also there are allegations of her using duct tape on his hands and I have seen a video of her mocking him because of his meltdowns so hopefully he is now with people more suited to his needs.

Thoughts?

The people who read this and know who you’re talking about, might want to think about how they have created people like her, where adoption gets you revenue via social media

The people who read this and know who you’re talking about, might want to think about how they have created people like her

I only know who she is because it was on the news this morning. It's not a foregone conclusion that you only know who she is because you watch her channel.

The wording is dreadful but if he has very complex needs perhaps him living somewhere that can meet those needs is the best thing for him and if that's what she's done then I can't see wrongdoing in that. Plenty of people have their high-needs biological children in residential care?

Having said that I know nothing about this particular situation apart from what page 1 tells me,so apologies if It's nothing like that!

But she's such a good Christian and prayed to god all the time about this it must be part of gods plan - a bit like covid

Hope both of their Youtube channels get cancelled because of this. What a sickening couple

Any adoption breakdown is very sad.
I 'was' an adopter last year, and the placement broke down.
It leaves you with feelings of grief - and people do not know what to say or if indeed to mention the whole saga.

So, it happens in the UK too - but less publicly.

I read this story earlier - sounds absolutely horrific for that poor boy.

I’ve never been in their shoes on a number of levels including special needs or adoption... let alone 4-5 kids.

I would imagine there are a lot of failed adoptions like this, which are not reported as the parents aren’t earning their living via social media. Perhaps why it’s so very hard to adopt in the UK.

There’s that saying not to judge unless you walk a miles in another mans shoes. Holding on to that one, hoping it’s not as clear cut, or I’ve lost faith in humanity.

I just watched the video of them explaining it and I would imagine he hurt another child ... this happens in families all day long ( I have a child with sn and although he is very well behaved I've heard some awful stories from his school and wider sn network ) .. it's often very shit having a child with sn and I guess she didn't think she could manage it . I also get the feeling they feel they were lied to about his actual issues but often they aren't apparent until later anyway . Sad story all round though .

topcat I was thinking of you earlier reading this thread. Please take not a blind bit of notice of all the judgemental guff people are posting here. Hope you’re okay. 💐

The judgement is mostly about the public element, not the adoption breakdown itself.

Petition to get YouTube to remove the money making content based on this child

The judgement is mostly about the public element, not the adoption breakdown itself.

Yes. If anyone has had an adoption breakdown pls don’t feel it reflects on you. Of course followers create this public watching and it’s easily stopped.

Absolutely, the judgement is about the public element and the fact they made so much money out of being "youtubers."

@OpenWheelRace

Petition to get YouTube to remove the money making content based on this child

They've set all their videos to private on their main channel. However it seems as though she still had a lot on her channel.

Not sure of the legalities here, but if another family have adopted him, is she allowed to share videos of him?

Myka and James Stauffer were told by the Chinese agency that Huxley had a brain tumour

This sounds dreadful, and I'm half-ashamed of myself for thinking it, because I don't know these people at all - but I wonder if they expected him to die with a year or two, if his condition was a serious as they thought?

They would have received HUGE numbers of Brownie points as the bereaved parents of an adopted disabled child . . .

@tldr thank you - it gets a little bit easier as time passes..

Topcat I am genuinely sorry your adoption didn't happen, this is about these people making profit and fame and "duping" followers not about adoption breakdown.

The cynic in me wonders if it finally dawned on these 2 that children with ASD are not biddable in the way NT children are and therefore can’t contribute to the family business ? Or the admittedly more likely scenario: this child’s needs were far more complex than what we see in “Hollywood Autism” and they weren’t prepared for it.

(And as the parent of a child with ASD I absolutely reserve the right to have a negative opinion of someone who adopted a child and then gave that child away because they couldn’t cope with his ASD!)

These people exploited a disabled toddler and are now wailing about his privacy.

Unfortunately there has been a lot of judgement on this thread and pure ignorance regarding removing children from their home. Judge her all you like but some posters have gone much further.

The comments about buying a check of are awful. I'm adopted and an adoptive parent. Neither me nor my child were bought.

Buying a child

Am I right in thinking that they are looking into adopting another disabled (but less difficult) child?

I think that's what the tweets/vlog posts upthread suggested.

I hope I'm wrong - there's no way they should be allowed another child.

I think it should be entirely illegal for parents to profit from their children at all. We have child labour laws which govern child models, actors and children who work outside the home, but when it comes to flogging them off for cash on social media or telly anything goes. That's just wrong. Bet a lot of these vacuous people would go away if they couldn't use their kids to fund their lives rather than getting a real job and taking responsibility as an adult.

NONE of these children of these influencers or reality families who are under age of competence are about to give their consent to being used like this.

I find it interesting that a lot of these parents appeal to a supposed moral good - vegan, no screens, homeschool etc whilst profiting. The disconnect is worth exploring. If we don’t want that kind of exploitation then unfollow.