to ask if you'd feel embarrassed by this?

[TastyCheese]

If you were in a public place - and asked a person - eg work colleague /person in social group going out etc a personal question then they told you it was none of your business, would you feel a tad embarrassed/uncomfortable?

@VK456

I’m amazed by questions some people ask You mention someone is unwell or in hospital and they want to know why. I lost count of the number of people who asked why my DS was getting divorced. None of their business, so yes, I would be embarrassed because it means that I’ve overstepped the mark.

Re the hospital one: I think it depends. It may be asked out of concern, it may be out of nosiness. I think that's a difficult one to be honest, and may depend on their relationship with the person.

Re the hospital one: I think it depends. It may be asked out of concern, it may be out of nosiness. I think that's a difficult one to be honest, and may depend on their relationship with the person.

I agree - some people are fishing for personal details (maybe especially hoping it's to do with a 'private' body part for juicier gossip - their ultimate dream would be a 'shover' who 'accidentally' fell backwards on to the hoover pipe whilst naked), but others are just wanting to know how serious it is.

To be blunt, they're often wondering if they're going to have a bit of TLC or a straightforward procedure and then be back to normal in a few weeks or whether there's a good chance that they might not survive.

We were out and about and a woman I used to work with who has form for asking personal questions told me to mind her business when I asked her something if she had a partner (after she asked me if I had one). She said it in front of everyone and all of us were stunned despite knowing she had form for rudeness.

Our boss replaced her on all the key projects she was on within weeks after the outburst.

Depends on the question, how the question was asked - eg if it was loudly in an attempt to humiliate you etc, how the rebuff was done, eg discreetly or loudly to humiliate publicly the question asker.

Best way to deal is to treat the other person like you would want to be treated yourself. And it is best that both come away without feeling shit.

It may be that someone is breaching a boundary for you that in general would not be an issue, this is your issue, so your rebuff is better to be handled with discretion so that the other person understands that it is just something you prefer not to discuss but that both parties can move on happily from. The bonus is that you have also ensured that the other person is now aware of your boundary for the future.

I would probably go red and respond with a swear word.

Thanks maddening - I think your analysis is a very true and balanced approach

I tend to prefix with: 'May I ask you a personal question?'
At least that warns them.
That way nobody needs to feel bad whatever the reply.
Personally, I am really not fussed what people ask me, whatever the location, even without warning, but then my whole life is an open book!

I have a work mate who is uber private and I'm not. So early on rather than telling me it was none of my business - she had a chat and explained she was a very private person and felt uncomfortable with personal questions.