to ask if you'd feel embarrassed by this?

[TastyCheese]

If you were in a public place - and asked a person - eg work colleague /person in social group going out etc a personal question then they told you it was none of your business, would you feel a tad embarrassed/uncomfortable?

No I wouldn't feel embarrassed. I would just say something like, "sorry, you're right, I was just being nosy". I think if you put someone on the spot in front of other people then you've created an awkward situation for them, the least you can do is own it and not make them feel they're being unreasonable by enforcing their boundaries. People will usually forgive and forget if you don't create more awkwardness for them and the moment passes quickly if you own up.

I come from a culture where people are blunter than a baseball bat, with the result that I’m very careful what questions I ask people after some mistakes in my youth but still receive blunt questions myself

I would be mortified yes. I think in most cases it is rude to answer that, if I felt someone was asking me something too personal I'd express that by making a joke out of it or laughing it off/distraction/let's talk about this some other time etc. Or if I was genuinely offended by their question, maybe it was a sexist or derogatory question, I would express why I don't think it's okay to ask that. So I suppose it depends.

Voting (or not) is not a subject for chat. It's a secret enshrined in law and I'd give people short shrift if I thought I was about to be lumbered with a political discussion that ignored that right.

Ok, I would probably say 'secret ballot - clue's in the name' to a canvasser who used it as an opening gambit, but I wouldn't want to be asked it in any event.

I think it entirely depends on what was asked or sometimes where.

Do you like chocolate? Ridiculous response

What colour are your nipples? Very reasonable response!

No. It's healthy and clear boundary setting. Anybody can ask anything they like, but equally, anybody can choose whether to answer or not.

Never dicuss politics or religion is something that was always drummed into me

I disagree with this, ask the question gets too much back out of the conversation, as adults we should be able to have a proper debate about these things and be able to teach children about them.

In answer to your question OP, no I wouldn't, I would assume I have overstepped the mark somehow, however it does depend upon the question as others has said.

When you having another child, normally gets the response none of your business or if I am feeling really bitchy well I have been trying for 6 years now, so as soon as my body lets me know.

The question was...?

Depends on the question

They obviously hit a nerve?

When I was a callow youth just out of University, I remember asking an older colleague something that she just clammed up on and said "mind your own business" and I was SO mortified. Served me right though - I hadn't realised at that point in life how intrusive a question it was (about children).

But if I'd asked someone IF they'd voted (not how) then I wouldn't expect to be told "mind your own business" and would probably feel more offended than embarrassed, that they couldn't just answer a simple question.

So it's very question dependent - although I do generally stick to the "no politics, no religion, no finance" rules when among people I don't know very well.

Too many variables to say, depends on what the question was, who the people involved are, who else is there etc

Well if someone asked me “how exactly do you masturbate”I’d tell them to mind their own business and I hope they’d be embarrassed for the rest of their life. It someone asked me what was in my sandwich and I told them it was none of their business I’d be a bit of a dick. So really you need to say what was asked.

But if I'd asked someone IF they'd voted (not how) then I wouldn't expect to be told "mind your own business" and would probably feel more offended than embarrassed, that they couldn't just answer a simple question.

I think, in British (and possibly most) societies, it's an opener and a loaded question, though. The questioner may well be happy with the answer "Yes, I have" and reply "Glad to hear it - I don't care who you cast your vote for, as long as you used it!" but I think many, many people would feel uncomfortable not expanding on it. Same as if somebody did ask "Do you have children?", you'd feel extremely rude just saying "Yes!" without adding "We have three: Tom, who's 9 and twins Hannah & Olivia, who are 5".

I truly fucking hate these threads. You invest the time and energy to read and reply but the OP tries to be a coy wise-ass and never tells you what the thread is actually about.

Don't waste our time OP. And before you ask, it's none of your fucking business why I feel this way.

But if I'd asked someone IF they'd voted (not how) then I wouldn't expect to be told "mind your own business" and would probably feel more offended than embarrassed, that they couldn't just answer a simple question

Got to say I disagree with this, I wouldn't answer someone asking me if I voted in a particular something (politics related, not strictly ) unless it was family or a very good friend.

Choosing to vote (or not) is personal and people have just as much reason that to keep that secret as who they choose to vote for.

I'd try not to be an arse and make someone feel awkward for asking it, but likewise they'd be told they won't be receiving an answer.

I have a friend: someone I’ve known for 12 years, who has volunteered intimate details about his health issues, family arguments, sexual experiences etc, but gave me a NOYB answer when I asked him something about voting. I wasn’t embarrassed or anything like that, I just thought it was a bit odd considering all the other personal stuff he’s told me over the years!

When I became pregnant at age 42, several people asked me if it was a planned or assisted pregnancy. My response was “Why do you want to know?” Along with a quizzical head tilt. Most people got the message and apologised.

I think asking any colleague intimate questions is rude and should be addressed.

It would depend on the context, I suppose. But generally, no, I wouldn’t feel embarrassed, I’d assume I’d asked something that made them feel uncomfortable, apologize for it and move on. Or I’d assume they didn’t like me and just wanted to shut me down, in which case I’d apologize without really meaning it and move on.

I would feel embarrassed if the response made me realize the question had been unreasonable and I really shouldn’t have asked. But I’d be grateful for the realization.

All depends on what was asked.

e 1 y 1 - fair enough. I now live in Australia, where there's no choice (unless you want a fine) so asking now would be more of a reminder than anything else, in case they'd forgotten to do it!

I would be momentarily embarrassed or annoyed depending on who and what i asked.

I think you shouldn't concern yourself with how they feel as you say you have difficulty with boundaries. Focus on how you feel.

Their feelings and regulating them is their problem, not yours.

Yes I would feel embarrassed, I'd say, "Sorry", and quickly change the subject. Everyone makes faux pas at times.

I think I would feel embarrassed as "None of your business" kind of reads to me as "I'm offended you asked".

It would be less embarrassing if the person said "I would rather keep that private" which is basically the same thing but doesn't sound as harsh.

It would depend on the question that was asked, the kind of relationship the person who asked had with the person who was asked, where they were and in what company.

I have been told that something was none of my business incidentally when I asked IF they were voting in a particular local election

And they were quite right, it isn't any of your business!