To ask what the shittest sex you ever had is?

[Magicra84]

Saw someone who absolutely insisted he wanted a proper relationship and not just FWB but the few times I saw him which led to sex he left within ten mins of sex ending. Sex was shit too. Three thrusts and he was done. Rubbish! As he was very good looking I hoped it would get better. I didn't give it chance to after he left immediately after twice.

The time he put it in the 'wrong' hole without asking and I was too young and dumb to say anything. Couldn't sit down for a week. Hideous

A man with a three inch penis 😮
Unfortunately he couldn't even insert it properly 😐

Hahaha, laughing my head off!

My worst was a guy who thought he was doing anal. He wasn't, it wasn't in any hole let alone that one. He genuinely couldn't tell whether it was in or out of anywhere, at any point. He was just humping away. I had to stop him before he'd finished, it was just so bad.

I've had a few awful ones. Agree a lot of it is in the mind and sexual chemistry accounts for a lot. Some have been so bad though, zero passion, just humping away as if I wasn't even there.

@JoysOfString l feel your pain. l had years of that with my ex husband. lt would go on for literally hours with him trying every position possible. When l said "aren't you sore!?" because l bloody was, he said "no, l can't feel anything".
Well quite clearly he wasn't going to come (which he never did). l just wanted him to get the fuck off me and leave me alone.

Omg @Ginbunny1212 a blood bath!!

I was shagging a bloke in my late teens who insisted on putting my legs over his shoulders... pounding away... he then stopped...blood everywhere! All over his white bedding! I was mortified! Took his bedding home to wash and then returned it!

A boyfriend I had who was very tall and skinny, small penis and so used his thumb also...hideous sex face!

Oh and the guy I was seeing who I fancied like mad but he had zero body hair, he was so smooth.. like a giant baby as he was a big lad too. He was too pissed to get it up either. So disappointing!

Luckily DH is great in bed, especially oral! He's a great kisser too! And has a lovely penis that he keeps very clean

Another jack hammer ONS

I should of known better when we went to kiss and he was like a washing machine on fast spin. I tried to slow him down show his sensual kisses he would be ok for 10 seconds then off at 1600rpm

He was the same in bed, going at it like a jackhammer despite me trying to slow him down.

He was so disappointing I sent him home on the bus, no lift for him. He did phone a few times and say he didnt want it to be just a ONS as it was the best sex ever

and he emitted those words, is it in yet

I'll leave you ladies to it and pop back later once my m&ms have fully digested...

Hmm, m&ms...I suppose they are the right size to go with the small penises described up thread.

Glad its not just me! I had a lot of shit sex until I met my DH. From the micro penis (I had to ask if it was in yet) to the virgin I met online dating.
He was nice but his knob was not! He had problems with his banjo string and bumps on his knob! And smegma. I only put up with him as he was my first boyfriend after an abusive relationship.
Convinced him to go to doc and get his knob sorted, then....it was even shitter!! Theres a reason he was a virgin! Far too much watching porn!
Oh, one guy who only wanted anal sex. Tried it cos well, you've got to try it once, right? That was an awkward night.

Bloody glad I met DH. After so much bad sex and 6 years of celibacy after abusive guy, I was ready for a decent shag! We just click and sex is always good! He's a lovely, kind guy and a great partner too!

I've had a micro penis too, and I'm not meaning smaller than average penis but a genuine bonafide micro penis. It was a bit of a shock, a bit of warning might have helped with that but I was willing to give it a go.

It was awful, in order to seemingly compensate for it, he violently jackhammered his hips against mine for the longest time, throwing me about, stabbing with his fingers into, calling names. I tried, I really did, but I just couldn't bear the thought of going back a second time.
Nice guy too.

Someone doing press ups and I happened to be underneath him.

I slept with a guy once who made no attempt at foreplay whatsoever. He jackhammered away until I was nearly crying in pain, he had a handful of my hair which he pulled really hard. Now I would stop him and ask what on Earth he was doing/attempt to show him what to do but I was only 19 and so put up with it. Agony and he wanted to do it again in the morning (and I let him 😩)
I’ve been with my current partner since I was 21 (am now 29) so I don’t know if men improve with age. The handful I slept with when I was younger were just awful. Didn’t know sex could be good til I met my boyfriend who was the only guy I’d ever been with who actually acknowledged the existence of my clitoris 😂

Was awful at oral apart from the one time I had an itchy vagina and he really got the itch out for me.

OMG. Talk about seeing the bright side :o

This is my favourite question. When I was 18ish I went over to a guys house and the agreement was clearly that he was going to lose his virginity to me. We had pasta ready meals and watched a tv programme then got down to it... he was on top and after 30 seconds or so of thrusting he was done. What he didn't realise was that he hadn't even entered me. He had fucked the mattress under my bottom. He didn't know it, and he was thrilled to lose his V (as our mutual friends told me!). It still brings me glee, though he must have realised when he really did have sex...

Never had a good sexual experience as I'm asexual so DTD because that's what people do and had two husbands but hated it all.
Now live alone thank God.
The times I got UTI's with husband number two because he never, ever washed his hands....yuck.
Such a waste of my time when I could be doing things I love like sleeping.

katseyes7 here's to those relationships being over

Oh god, this has brought back some ghastly memories. One guy who pushed (and held) my legs practically round my ears then jackhammered away at my cervix. Painful doesn’t begin to describe it! But I was crazy in love with him so kept trying..... right up to the time he took my knickers off and started trying to push them inside me! Jesus fuck, I’ve never moved so fast. In retrospect (and I was v naive about it at the time), I think he had some unpleasantly niche porn interests.

@Abitouting 😂😂😂
They are great!!

One night stand at uni, went back with a guy I met in a club. To his halls (different site to mine).

Bloke's mates were outside his room door honking and squealing shouting 'she's mingling mate, she's a pig' etc. I stopped, got dressed, jumped out of the (ground floor) window and got a taxi.

@JoysOfString Oh god, yes. 'After l got rid of him, l landed myself a 21 year old who was bloody fantastic in bed. lt made up for all the years of being treated like a piece of meat. l had two and a half years with him, he treated me like a goddess, and totally restored my self confidence!

One man who was into "orgasm denial" type stuff. Thought I'd give it a go, didn't think much of it. Then he says in a really creepy voice "It's, you know, Delayed gratification...", which was what my dad frequently said when I was growing up (obviously in a very different context) so much so that it became a bit of a catchphrase. I froze up completely, any chance of orgasm completely out the window. He didn't notice, carried on, and then spent the next few days telling me "You're really good at that."
Other than sex we got on very well so I stayed with him for a couple of months. Not one orgasm. Ever. Because he reminded me of my dad. He thought I was just playing along with it and was so, so proud of himself that he'd found a girl who he'd never once made orgasm.

I had a one night stand when I was a teenager with a boy who hadn't had sex before. He dribbled on me and got so so sweaty his skin kept making fart noises with my skin. Awful! We never spoke again

I’ve two men to add to this.

One who liked to talk dirty. Now, I like a bit of dirty talk myself. But he was crap at it. He called my clit my “love-pimple” and referred to our bits as “he” and “she” eg “he loves it when she squeezes him like that”.

The other was one who was unnervingly silent. Freakishly so. He didn’t say a word once he was inside me, nor groan nor moan. There was never even a change in his breathing when he came, I would actually only know he had cum because he pulled out and I’d look at the condom. It was very weird!

Because you can instinctively tell that it is unnecessary and will hurt people.

I'm not sure that's true. You have done what many people do when trying to prove that someone else is being unfair or discriminatory which is to recruit black and disabled women as props for your argument. They are more than a convenient comparison to be used when you want to shame someone else.

Well, there was the one who wasn't particularly big and it was a bit skinny unlike the rest of him. Didn't particularly want to hurt his feelings at first, so was really helpful, talking about what I really liked...worked out fairly quickly that if I said I liked something, he would then stop doing it forever, but didn't dump him immediately because he was an utter headfuck/professional victim who made me feel like I'd be kicking a puppy if I did. On the first occasion it was going comparatively well I actually felt something for about ten seconds, he immediately changed to barely the tip and when asked to go back to what he was doing, he muttered 'you've had your fun'. He got launched off a few seconds later when he started treating my nipples as though he was turning up the volume on a rusty transistor radio and slapped my hand away when I tried to stop him.

Then there was the guy with a huge one who got it out, said 'Told you I'm big. You can suck it if you like'. Umm, no.

And then there was the one who thought the phrase 'bean flicking' was actually an instruction. It's not a game of Subbuteo, Matthew.

A toss-up between the ones who make out they're amazing lovers but finish after three and a half thrusts and turn over and go to sleep, and the ones who refuse to wear a condom.