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Original poster

Child left for 45 mins in own poo??

388 replies

ShallallalAa · 23/05/2020 12:05

My dc aged 4 was left for 45 mins at school having pooed herself (I am a first response worker BTW and dp was 2 hours away)
She was left in the loo covered in her own poo. I left immediately and got there and left colleagues on the ward.
Should she have been changed or helped to clean herself up by a staff member?
She was extremely distressed by the time I got there.

OP posts:
mumof2nearly3 · 24/05/2020 11:33

My eldest daughter (now aged almost 6) has severe constipation that has needed attention from our GP and a paediatrician and was diagnosed when she was 3.5. Thankfully she is now pretty much recovered although still needs medication.

We had a terrible time when she first went to school around these issues. She had frequent accidents and became fearful of telling people at school about them because of some reactions she experienced. At one point we had a phone call to say the school were considering whether there was a safeguarding issue (ie us sending her to school in soiled underwear) because they had discovered an accident at morning playtime. It took months and months of discussion to iron things out and I found it very stressful and very judgemental. Discriminating against a child with a medical condition is unlawful and I had to be very clear about this in the meetings we had. I don't know about policies for one off accidents which is more what this thread is about.

When we were going through it I often thought that if I hadn't been willing to be so direct and persistent about it it could have had major long term effects on her mental health and her education.

I just wanted to share as it may be relevant to some here.

IHateCoronavirus · 24/05/2020 16:40

Did your DD have clean clothes to be changed into op?

EarringsandLipstick · 24/05/2020 19:35

@Anotherdayanotherdollar

I'm in Ireland. Similar policy in my kids school. Totally hands off unless the child has a dedicated sna for personal care. Parents are phoned to come sort the child.

Well, thank God no-one I know is at a school like this.

I've been never, ever heard this happen at the school my kids go to, or any of my family / friends.

Which means that in Ireland, at least, it's discretionary - and that your kids' school is appalling, in this regard at least.

fedupdaddy101 · 24/05/2020 19:41

Disgusting behaviour!!! They are teachers not arse wipers, they can't by law clear it and nor should they! Back in my day if you shat yourself still you didn't go to school it's simple really. Should be ashamed of yourself.

LolaSmiles · 24/05/2020 19:42

Disgusting behaviour!!! They are teachers not arse wipers, they can't by law clear it and nor should they! Back in my day if you shat yourself still you didn't go to school it's simple really. Should be ashamed of yourself

  1. Don't be so unpleasant
  2. Don't spread utter codswallop
fedupdaddy101 · 24/05/2020 19:44

@MrsJoshNavida or she just needs teaching how to go throughout the day. Sometimes it's nit a big conspiracy!?

OntheWaves40 · 24/05/2020 19:46

I’m guessing the teacher wanted to maintain social distance from your daughter and assumed you wouldn’t be that long? Either way it’s not good and a worry that children aren’t going to get the attention they need during lockdown/social distancing times.

grumpyorange · 24/05/2020 19:47

It's very telling that OP didn't come back today. It's very obviously a troll.

x2boys · 24/05/2020 19:50

Well.thankfully we don't discriminate against children who have accidents or who are incontinent ( for whatever reason ) these days @fedupdaddy101 and please tell me which law you are referring to because it directly contradicts the ERIC guidelines,and when was your day btw? Because I went to primary school in the late 70,s and early 80,s and I have vivid m memories of young children having toilet accidents and they were very much helped by teaching staff .

Stinkycatbreath · 24/05/2020 20:04

People have gone hands off to the point of neglectful. There is not a policy under the sun thsy would prevent me from helping a child thay needed it. Not one.

Claliscool · 24/05/2020 20:25

I'm not a poo troll! I name changed!!

Majorcollywobble · 25/05/2020 12:06

@fedupdaddy101
Substitute a vulnerable adult for a four year old child .
Would you think it right for them to have to sit in their own ordure for 45 minutes and be viewed becoming soiled as disgusting ?
We start out in life needing a nappy change and as we enter old age we might need one ourselves . Whatever the school policy is you have no right to make a call of disgusting behaviour against this poor little mite .

grumpyorange · 25/05/2020 12:08

@Claliscool I'm not a poo troll! I name changed!!

^thats what a troll would say!

If you were that disgusted by the actions you would've demanded an explanation from the school. Yet OP is against that idea and it's not an option?

Very strange

Topttumps · 25/05/2020 12:16

I was told by so called health professionals not to clean up dd at aged 11 after a poo during a programme to fix soiling.
After about 18 hours I gave in and helped dd after said professionals being uncontactable.
I was than told I had allowed things to escalate by giving in and made to feel like a bad parent.
Hell if I had done this at other times I would be reported for neglect.
I can understand why you are upset op.

Topttumps · 25/05/2020 12:18

At least dd never soiled at school.

Gwenisthename · 25/05/2020 12:23

Bloody hell, it a 4 year old child
we would ring the parents to check it was OK
Then ask the child if it was OK
One person helping and one person in the room with their back to us
We wrapped a towel around them for dignity and we wore gloves

justasking111 · 25/05/2020 14:04

When having friends children around for a play date if one had an accident it would not have occurred to me to phone parent for permission just used common sense and cleaned them up. One little boy made a huge mess in the hot tub, we just pulled all the kids out and said never mind no problem.

Gwenisthename · 26/05/2020 07:28

There is a massive difference to changing a child on a 'play date' compared to a school setting @justasking111
There are guidelines to follow

FourPlasticRings · 26/05/2020 10:33

TBH @justasking111 I would definitely phone parents for permission before providing intimate care for the first time for any child, even in my home, unless it was expected, e.g. if babysitting a toddler who is still in nappies. If they didn't answer I'd probably still do it but I'd want the record to show that I'd tried to check.

minemineminemine · 26/05/2020 11:20

I'm outraged for your poor DD. She's only 4, and these things happen. How are the school not better equipped for events like this?

I would certainly complain and ask to see any policies in place for events like this.

wewillmeetagain · 26/05/2020 11:27

Looks like I am in a minority here but as a parent I would in no way expect a teacher to have to clean faeces up.

x2boys · 26/05/2020 11:47

So what would you expect to happen than @wewillmeetagain you would just be happy that a child's left soiled for however long? It's a small child accidents happen ,s .

SnuggyBuggy · 26/05/2020 11:56

I'm just thinking of all the sinks, door handles, cubicle doors etc that this child may have touched when left alone for 45 minutes. Not very hygienic.

Covidpolice · 26/05/2020 11:59

Some of the answers here from supposed teachers / educators are awful.

Teachers/educators. The clue is in the name.

Useruseruserusee · 26/05/2020 12:07

At my school the child would have been changed. However the staff member doing so would have been wearing full PPE. The government guidance for primary schools states that PPE should be worn for intimate care.