That it’s women who are still locked down?

[Sadie789]

My DH goes back to work next week and rightly so, long overdue in my opinion.

However, I can’t go back to work as with two young DC we have no childcare and it’s not possible to do my job from home.

Under normal circumstances without childcare it wouldn’t really be an issue as there would be classes and clubs and play parks and soft plays and friends to meet up with, so a full weekly schedule out and about with things to do.

I can’t take them to the supermarket or round the shops either, no grandparents allowed etc.

As it stands none of these things are available nor are likely to be for a while, so for me my situation has not changed from the initial lockdown - stay at home, go out for exercise (weather permitting).

Meanwhile my DH and the Hs of my friends are all back at work out of the house living normal days. At the weekends the golf is back on so that’s a leisure option.

Many of my friends are also trying to work from home while looking after children, some also homeschooling older ones.

Women who don’t have children are also on the back foot as many of the professions which are traditionally female - hair and beauty, retail, hospitality - remain closed and will be for some time.

Meanwhile men are back in the workplace. When furlough ends it will be those who are able to present for work and give all their attention to their job who are preferred by employers. Recruitment will be skewed by this too. It’s the traditionally male industries that are able to return earlier- outdoor and manual work.

When it does return childcare is likely to be limited in hours and more expensive- Scotland has quietly dropped the 30 free hours from
August that were going to make it financially viable for me to work. Now it’s going to be a matter of me earning a couple of hundred pounds extra per month instead of nearly £1000 that was previously the case.

I am far from a feminist, but it feels like any equality women had gained is being seriously eroded by lockdown and the exit strategy that has deftly avoided any conversation around how women, especially with younger children, are getting the raw deal.

Why isn't it an option for you and your female friends to go back to work and the men look after the children? DH and I are public sector keyworkers so have both been working throughout and no option for furlough despite no childcare. If one of us were to be furloughed it would be DH as my job is more specialist and I earn more so would make sense to continue to learn my full salary and take a drop in his

@Sadie789 then that is down to your family set up, rather than an inherently sexist response to the virus. If you chose to have a traditional set up- man has the higher paid job, woman predominantly responsible for kids and home - then that’s absolutely fine, but you then have to live with those choices.

And women play golf too.

@burnoutbabe he plays golf for 4/5 hours, I get those hours back to myself the next day.

This isn’t a complaint about my DH who has been brilliant during lockdown.

I don’t care about white male privilege or growing my armpit hair or being the top bitch in the boardroom.

Riiight... so you’re not a misogynist man’s perception of what a feminist is.

That’s quite insulting to actual feminists.

Maybe use your time locked down productively by finding out exactly what a feminist is before declaring you aren’t one.

You're understanding of feminism is warped to say the least, but might explain why you've given up your independence and surround yourself with people where that is the norm. My female friends don't give up their careers because they've had children and don't expect less from their partners because they happen to have a penis

Plenty of women have gone back to normal life quicker than the men in their families, if they have left it at all. It’s overwhelmingly women that have been working in schools and care settings while people in other jobs have been furloughed, and because of that I know quite a few families where the man has had to care full time for the children alone for the first time since the children have existed. I will admit to having a little chuckle every time I’ve heard about one of these dads struggling through lockdown while the mums are out at work.

My experience of the people around me must be very different to yours OP.

*your

sadie789 depressing isn't it

My DH has gone back in , has 'important phone calls' and I am left.

Next week is half-term- great fun - me working from home, trying to look out for kids MH while mine is compromised

@Artesia would love to know how you choose to have a better paid job than your spouse. Please let me in on the secret to controlling other people’s thoughts and abilities in life. You could make millions with that book.

I agree OP.
DD was supposed to be going back to school next week but she won’t be because they’ve decided to stagger the start back and when she finally gets her turn it’s only 2 days a week.
I mean what’s the point?!

You have no actual point here. You are staying home because that works for your family. I know plenty of women still working out of the home. Stop trying to make it into something it isn’t.

@plunkplunkfizz but it does confirm that I’m not a feminist as I clearly don’t have the faintest idea what it involves and quite happy to stay that way.

What’s wrong with being a feminist?

I have several friends who earn more than their husbands and their jobs are being prioritised. Every household has different calculations to make.

And yes, women are more likely to be beauty therapists and hairdressers so not able to work, but men are more likely to be builders and back working on unsafe sites where precautions can’t be properly taken but because their industry is allowed to operate they don’t have a choice to stay at home. Swings and roundabouts. Many of them pretty shitty and unfair at the moment.

@PowerStruggle I’m staying home because there is no childcare to enable me to return to work.

I work in the NHS, heavily female occupation. We are at work and most of our ( male) partners are at home.

I agree I'm doing the planning of school work and housework but my dh has taken the hit in his career, because the circumstances have worked thst way.

My job has always been able to be done from home so now I have the added issues of helping motivate the kids,while doing my own work.

It is a feminist issue

@plunkplunkfizz I’m not a feminist because I don’t believe that gender equality can be achieved by focusing on women’s rights. I still care about the ways in which women are disadvantaged (as well the ways in which men are disadvantaged) because I’m not a twat.

OP, you are talking about a very specific subset of women here who chose to care for children over having a career. Childcare is still available in the form of nannies, au pairs, moving in grandparents, fathers etc. for women who prioritise their careers. I appreciate where you are coming from (I am a default parent myself) but when you choose to have children you need to put the effort in if you want to maintain a career. If anything this whole thing has demonstrated how many people are dependent on schools for free childcare ask opposed to ensuring that they are able to ensure that their children are adequately cared for themselves.

and quite happy to stay that way.

Then stop moaning about the consequences flowing from a patriarchal society.

If half of families had a male higher earner and half female, this wouldn't be a feminist issue.
Funnily enough, that's not the case.
I'm the higher earner but DH is a KW which makes things extra awkward.
This woman's husband though is just taking the piss.

www.thelily.com/i-had-to-choose-being-a-mother-with-no-child-care-or-summer-camps-women-are-being-edged-out-of-the-workforce/

And @PowerStruggle if you read my post I also talk about women working from the home with children to look after and homeschooling to do.

You are far from a feminist? You are far from believing men and women are equal and should be treated as such?

@Sadie789 your husband could look after the kids. You’re making choices. No one is forcing you to assume the role of downtrodden little woman

@plunkplunkfizz oh gosh, now I’m really out of my depth. A patriarchal society... that is helping men back to work and not women? It’s almost as if that’s my point...

I earn more than my husband. I'm working from home. He's not been furloughed but he's just been told not to work on full pay (he's a teacher). If my work wanted me to come back to the office then I would go. If both workplaces wanted us back, then I would go. It's because I earn more. It has nothing to do with having a penis or a vagina - stop making up problems.

@PowerStruggle as I’ve said he earns substantially more than I do so explain how that works?