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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be rather surprised at my parents with hindsight?

169 replies

ImaBridKid · 22/05/2020 13:34

In 1990 I was 17 and was knocked off my bike by a motorist. It was low speed collision on a roundabout, I wasn't seriously injured not enough for a hospital appointment. However, I was shaken up with a painful bruised backside and had to have 2 days off work. The lady who knocked me over seemed a decent type, was also shaken up and had to have the day off work due to shock.
What surprises me is this - my parents were both university graduates with 'Top executive' level jobs. My mum was an abusive, alcoholic narcissist and my Dad her enabler.
I'm surprised that neither of them encouraged or helped me to put in a claim for compensation. After all, I was hurt although not really seriously and psychologically shaken up. I didn't know the first thing about claims when I was 17.
Maybe the claims culture wasn't so much a thing in 1990.Any opinions?

OP posts:
MatildaTheCat · 22/05/2020 13:37

No it wasn’t. Your claim would have been for financial loss primarily- what did you lose? And a sum for pain and suffering which was, in the scheme of things, minimal.

Maybe your parents were shit but not in this instance.

AnotherEm · 22/05/2020 13:38

But you only had two days off work. What would you have been expecting compensation for?

JasonPollack · 22/05/2020 13:39

Not really a thing in the 90s I think. It was consided very American and lowbrow, compensation culture.

Apple1029 · 22/05/2020 13:40

You werent seriously injured with no financial loss, what exactly were you hoping to gain Hmm

rbe78 · 22/05/2020 13:40

What would you have been compensated for, the two days off work? Can't have been more that about £50 for a 17 year old in 1990.

elgreco · 22/05/2020 13:40

You didn't need compensation. You think you did but your mother is the narcissist?

TidyDancer · 22/05/2020 13:41

There's obviously issues with your parents but what grounds do you think you would've got compensation on?

CovidicusRex · 22/05/2020 13:41

But in order to claim you’d have to prove sone kind of damage. You’d also have to pay all the court fees, legal fees etc if it went to court. What exactly do you think you would have got out of this?

ChandlerIsTheBestFriend · 22/05/2020 13:42

Two days off work and a bruised bum? I wouldn’t claim for that today let alone 30 years ago.

Pipandmum · 22/05/2020 13:42

Compensation for what? You would have to have a permanent injury or loss of income.
And I don't see what your parents education or their personal issues have anything to do with it.
My daughter had the top part of her finger cut off on a train. We had to stay in a hotel while she had an operation but there were no grounds for anything and the excess on my insurance meant I couldn't get cost of hotel either.

Original poster
ImaBridKid · 22/05/2020 13:42

I suppose psychologically it did shake me up I was crying 2 days after the crash - and I think that was the psychological part. My backside was also really bruised and painful. Also suffered from tiredness. Also had 2 days off work and I had 2 jobs. OK I admit my circumstances didn't last that long only a few days. But still. After working in the claims culture of more recent times - can't help thinking that nowadays certain people would submit a claim faster than you could say 'Jack Robinson'

OP posts:
VickyEadieofThigh · 22/05/2020 13:43

In 1990 I was 32, a graduate with a higher degree and it wouldn't have occurred to me - if I knew someone who had your experience - to sue for compensation.

Stop expecting your parents to have known everything because you're looking through a hindsight filter.

AllsortsofAwkward · 22/05/2020 13:44

This happened 30 years ago what are you expecting?

whatswithtodaytoday · 22/05/2020 13:44

Perhaps they would, but that's not a good thing, and it certainly wasn't done in the 90s. You're not owed anything.

steppemum · 22/05/2020 13:44

a friend of mine won thousands in compensation for a motorbike accident in 1985.

But he was knocked off by a car turning right and hitting him, resulting in a badly broken leg and head injury. He had amnesia, was off school for months and had to repeat a year.

At that level compensation was definitely a thing.
But not for the sort of thing you are takling about

Hopeisnotastrategy · 22/05/2020 13:44

For goodness sake. It’s thirty years ago.

HappyHammy · 22/05/2020 13:46

Compo was frowned upon and only considered appropriate for serious injuries, malpractice and injustice. Most people thought it was a crass American thing.

Original poster
ImaBridKid · 22/05/2020 13:46

The police were called and I was in pain and shock when it happened.

OK parents education - I only included that 'cos financially they weren't' desperate, poorly literate people on their uppers who had to struggle to get through each day where maybe the logistics of claiming may be less important - understandable if they were in desperate circs. No other reason to mention it but they would have been likely to be savvy about claims.

OP posts:
ChelseaCat · 22/05/2020 13:48

FFS, this is ridiculous.

00100001 · 22/05/2020 13:48
Confused

Why would anyone seek compensation in that scenario???

ivykaty44 · 22/05/2020 13:49

there were claim firms round in 1990 and compensation was a thing

FrankieDoyle · 22/05/2020 13:49

YABU sorry.

GrumpyMiddleAgedWoman · 22/05/2020 13:50

I'm not sure I'd claim for that even now...

Minesacider · 22/05/2020 13:50

Would you submit a claim if it happened to you today, OP?

00100001 · 22/05/2020 13:50

You had two whole days off work... Presumably paid sick leave.... Didn't have any paid for counseling?

So what expenseses did you incur as a Result?

Money doesn't make unhappiness/shock /whatever go away....